Class

[Boe]

Just wondered what made people a certain class - I was described as middle class the other day and not sure if I agree.

There are a few mentions n Northerners thread about her parents coming to stay and I can not for the life of me figure out what makes one middle class or working class - I go to work so IMO I am working class - Is this right????

ks, I think it's because there are so many couples now who either aren't married or who are but keep their own names. There was a thread about this recently here

I know a married couple in which the wife has kept her own surname. The children their own surname made up of half the husband's and half the wife's. Seems unnecessarily (sp?) complicated to me.

oops, please insert "have" between "children" and "their" in previous post.

Speaking of Upper Class Twits, I have had to abandon watching that Restoration programme cos I can't BEAR the intolerable Ptolemy the Ptwat. He really is a prime example with his rictus grin and his stupid drawl. Bleaghhhhhh.

Ptolemy. There's a name that you won't find on a sink estate.

Ks, both my children have double barrelled name as marialuisa mentions and like Batters I too am very proud of passing my name onto my children. I have two children with different fathers and really feel that their double barrelled names give them a connection with each other and with me whilst at the same time acknowledging their different origins. (I have kept my maiden name too, something I've only ever had to justify when explaining I am not a 'Mrs.' despite being married but a Ms. + maiden name). I know it irritates people but why is it such a big deal that I am not known as Mrs. Husbands surname?

What do you do with your surname when you get divorced - I don't really want to keep it but do not want maiden name as is awful and I am trying to sort of exorcise my terrible family from my life.

My mum's name is always an option but that is terribly boring and I have only had the 2 most boring surnames you could get.

DP is probably 2nd most common in UK too!!

I suppose it depends if you want to keep the same name as your daughter. If not (I presume she has your married surname) you can call yourself anything you like.

I see why people double-barrell, but I do wonder what will happen when all the Smith-Joneses start meeting the Brown-Thompsons, and having children! Still,that will be their problem

Don't want different name to her though and DP and I both have a colour for our second names so would look awful doubled if we ever tied the knot.

You could choose a new surname together, Boe, as friends of mine did.

Aloha, I felt the same way about the double barrelling so poor kids have two surnames, non-hyphenated, both impossible to spell/pronounce as one's Swedish and the other's Bengali (so even if you get one right you're not likely to get the other one). I do feel faintly sorry for them sometimes, as I suspect I've inflicted twice the spelling-out that each parent already has to go through.

If you married your Dp could take your name or you could both keep your own names. You can't legally change your dd's surname (if she has her father's name) unless he agrees, though.

Not much that I can do then DP would never change his name - is boring but goes well with his christian name.

x2b would also not agree to changing DDs name!! Although if I got married could I tag new name on the end?? (Hhhmmm 2 colours again though!!)

I am pretty sure your ex could prevent that too. It may seem unreasonable but we saw it from the other side. At one point dh's ex wanted to give his daughter her new husband's name. She also suggested double-barrelling it, but we knew that would mean changing it to his, so we found out she wouldn't be allowed to do it if my dh protested. It was just one more way she was trying to take her away from dh (& I think she was also snobbily embarrassed at having children with different names, tee hee) Also, my stepdaughter didn't want to exchange her father's name for her stepfather's name.

Its not so much as having same name as DP if we ever get married - it is that if I ever had anymore children I would like them to all have the same name - no snobby pretentions just think is nice for kids.

I can understand that - but it limits your options as to your own surname. Basically you'd have to keep it and give it to any further children you might have. However, it doesn't bother my stepdaughter at all that she has a different name to some of her siblings.

The double-barrelled thing is just amusing to me though, however thought out the parents' intentions. My dad has a Spanish mother (she has the usual 2 surnames) and an Italian father with 3 surnames. He was born in Mallorca so was given 4 surnames under Spanish registration rules, his dad's 3 and his mother's afther's surname. Luckily he only passed on the first two Italian surnames to me, which was complicated enough. DH grew up with a hundreds of years old double-barrelled surname and a really upper-class twit first name, but lived in Essex and went to the local comp where his life was made hell. DD has one very ordinary surname, the second half of DH's surname and both DH and I use this in "everyday" life as otherwise it's a nightmare.

I guess that as someone who grew up with a double-barrelled surname and knew a few people with triple barrels I can't understand why a parent would put a child through it. I don't know of anyone that uses the long surname except on passports. Although did here of a very pretentious couple who changed their name from Rogers to Maitland-Rogers when they moved to Belvoir country.

Dadslib - you are right, I misinterpreted your last post which was duly pointed out to me before.

I tried my damnest to keep my maiden name, even though I officially took my dh's surname. I took it officially because I thought it would save a lot of faffing with the mortgage and banks and so on, I told him that I was taking his surname as a gift to him, to show him how much I loved him. (aww!) But unofficially I told all my friends to call me by my maiden name still, as that was who I am. It didn't work, no-one calls me by my maiden name anymore
My sister got hers double-barrelled, but most of us have ignored this just to wind her up! It is a mouthful and sounds plain silly!

At our local school we had a load of Hannahs and Shannons for the girls, and quite a few Lukes and Bhaviks.

Maybe we could solve all the surname problems by doing what they often do in Indonesia - just have one name. One of our drivers and the cook both just had the one name. How that works administratively, I have no idea - it must be a nightmare!

I couldn't wait to ditch my maiden name

was talking to my boss today ( another lefty socialist type - joy) about class and mentioned about this debate online. when he said in Jest "ohh a debating society for mums who neglect their kids by sitting at the computer!" having not mentioned mumsnet i just said " you would be surprised how close to the truth you are!"

custy, what were you doing up at 3am? Hope you're OK and it was just a bad night.

Now I feel guilty Custy!
My DH has a double barreled surname which he has never used - he uses the first half - which is a good name but a bit ordinary. I took his name when we got married (though would also NEVER use the double barrel) but do miss my maiden name as it is unusual ... never ever met anyone with the same name who isn't related! Unfortunately because of the double barrel I can't pass on my name to my children as it would be too much of a mouthfull ... But I have decided that if I have a girl I will give her my maiden name as a middle name - I think I could get away with it. DH's sister, who is a big shot fashion designer in New York, uses the double barrel as it sounds very impressive to the people she works with together with her English accent ....apparently the americans love it .... so I guess it can be useful.

thanks WWW, combination of thing meant that i was awake - which mans am going to sleep on the train to london today!