Calling METIRED !! Please can you answer my questions ??

[wickedstepmother]

I am a mum of 3 (11, 9 & 1) and would love to begin a nursing degree. I wanted to hear from a woman in a similar position (you!). Do you do your degree part or full time and how do you find it affects family life ?

Thanks so much
WSM
xxx

WSM - i'm not the person you were asking, but thought I would give you my thoughts on the matter.

I started the Advanced Diploma in Midwifery when my ds was about 25 months. It is possible, but it is really hard work and you spend most of the time just wishing you could be 3 different people at once. As it happens I didn't finish the course - I had to leave near the end of Year 2 because of problems my ds was having (he has since been diagnosed Asperger and ADHD). It was hard - I felt like I wasn't giving my best to anyone - not to the college, not to the hospital and most importantly not to my ds. So I had to make a choice.

However, most people on the course had children, and most of them managed. It can be hard to arrange suitable childcare for really little ones, because in many Trusts you will be working ordinary hospital shifts, and it can work out quite costly from that point of view. Although if you have family who could help then that is ideal?

Really I think it depends how much you want it - if you are not really comminted to the idea then I would leave it (certainly until your youngest is older) because it is SUCH hard work. However, I found Midwifery one of the most rewarding things I have ever done in my life - I miss it passionately and am determined that I WILL get my chance again, although I am afraid I am expecting a baby myself now, and couldn't consider returning to midwifery until the child is nearly (or actually) school age. Although that is probably more a guilt reaction because of my son's problems than anything else.

So if you really want it it is do-able and worth all the work - but be sure it is something you really want first!

Thanks for responding Oakmaiden. I have wanted to do it since I was 14, but I never got around to it (in my 20's now). I left school at 16 and got a full time job (personal not academic reasons) and I never really thought it was possible/feasible for me to go back into education (who would pay the rent/mortgage etc). However, I now find myself in a positive financial situation but with 3 children ! Unfortunately I do not have family around to give childcare support as DH works full time, PIL have passed away and my mum lives in Wales !

Perhaps I will go back to college and do the A-levels I need via night classes (1 year course)
and decide where to go from there. DH and I would also like to have another baby when DD gets to 3/4 years old and so it may be best to get the baby years done and dusted before I concentrate on career options ? But if I do that then I could be waiting 8 years before I start the degree and 11 before I am qualified. Yes, I'll only be in my 30's then but to be honest that wait makes me feel a bit sad

I am a sister working in A & E, I work part-time, I have 4 children and I am studying for a degree part-time, I get 4 hours a week study time from work - not much but I am determined to finish my degree so I have to be very organised, I can write an essay in a day as I don't have the luxury of time. I hadn't studied for such a long time when I started to do my diploma but loved it so much that I carried straight on. You have up to 5 years to complete your degree so you can take your time. I plan on doing a masters next year, yes I am mad, but I shall be negotiating more time off from work. I don't really need to study for work but I need to study for me and I think that is important, do it for yourself and you will survive.

Thanks so much metired. What an early post !!

At least I wouldn't be working alongside the degree, which has to help with the logistics of completing assignments and being a mum. I still don't know what to do for the best though

I would never want to do the kids out of a mum for the sake of my academic dreams but then I want to have a meaningful career too. Am I selfish to want 'it all' ?

not selfish at all, just because we have kids doesn't mean that we stop being ourselves, I am a better mum for being furfilled, but that is just me, eveyone is different, besides I have to work to keep us afloat. When I left school I had 3 cse's and was destined to do nothing, I fell into nursing at 18 and love it, but have always felt that I wasn't as clever as other people, s'pose I always had a chip on my shoulder, now I realise that I am just as good as everyone else and I am proud of myself for what I have acheived, its always a struggle but its worth it.

Of course you're not selfish WSM. I can completely understand where you're coming from. I might be a mum (and don't get me wrong, I love being a mum) but I am still me and I still have aspirations for myself.

I left school at 11, suffering from depression, and now have 3 gcse's and 2 a'levels. Like metired says, I often feel like I'm not as clever as other people, and like I can't compete on the same basis.

I am currently looking into doing an OU degree.

I am full of admiration for you all ladies...How do you do it.
I work 3 days per week and have 2 dd's ( 6 & 2)and never seem to stop. I am a fairly organised person but every so often it all gets on top of me.
Metired - have you any "time management" tips or advice please?

Good luck to you all

no secret recipe sorry, other than don't beat yourself up about things you can nothing about, and don't ever put yourself down, there are enough people out there to do it, us mum's do a fantastic job and its about time we all realised, this country would ground to a halt if we went on strike. (sorry if that sounds like a party political broadcast)