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feeling sorry for meeself

14 replies

melsy · 06/09/2005 15:58

In a moment of practicality and sense I cancelled my day spa (AM I MAAAAAAD)for today my dh had booked for me. Half was being paid for by my new job and half by dh. But I felt it was too self indulgent and extravagant. The only thing is I forfeited a day to myself as the last few months have been more than mental ferrying my dd all over London for a job Im doing , working days, nights, weekends and even 3am when I cant sleep over worry.I have done all this and been more or less full time parenting, so Im a bit wrecked. I tried to book a local lady for a couple of treatments today at a more reasonable expense, but theres been no reply. Im not quite sure were to go now to have some pampering and me time locally as she offers a holistic and personal approach. IM desparate to get away from house,dh, dd, head and phone!!!!!

The last few months the stress has really been getting to me and today having cancelled Ive been really upset and low all day. Im a sensitive person anyway , but my strength and assuredness is waning badly. Ive been soo much better this year than last(many of you saw all my threads on various problems). I havent felt like this for a long time. Im hoping its just down to AF time but I just needed to get it out today, dh just keeps getting upset at the weird noises (you know when you need to cry but it wont come out!!!)emanating from me this afternoon as I sit on my pc seeking solace from my yuckk anxiety feeling inside.

Bet Im gonna feel like a right chump once Ive posted this ,especially as theres far more important worries and concerns on here.

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melsy · 06/09/2005 16:00

ooh and to add to it dd(2 years old in a couple of weeks), has been up at least 3 times a night , so add to that broken sleep.

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spacedonkey · 06/09/2005 16:01

Blimey melsy, no wonder you're stressed with that schedule!

It's certainly not self-indulgent to spend a bit of time on yourself; it's essential for your own sanity and therefore will have a positive effect on all of those around you. So is it possible to reschedule your day spa?

wysiwyg · 06/09/2005 16:02

If you can't get booked up for anything, still make sure you go out of the house - on your own. Go for a walk, take lots of deep breaths and smile. and force yourself not to think about anything! Just good fresh air, looking at different plants in the park (or gardens if you're not near a park) helps me. Haven't read any of your other threads, so hope this doesn't come over as too simplistic. Hope you feel better about things soon.

melsy · 06/09/2005 16:03

It really is a costly experience !!

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Kayleigh · 06/09/2005 16:04

melsy - i know somone really good in barnet. do you want me to email you details ?

melsy · 06/09/2005 16:05

Not simplistic wysiwyg, they are all part of relaxation , but I think I need something more intense. I ruminate at obesseive levels and this is what I need to block out. My threads are from last year and b4 on pnd /ptsd etc.

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melsy · 06/09/2005 16:07

is that the lady from the indulgance night ?? If so thats who Ive contacted, may be shes on hols? If not then yes would be great to have another recommendation.

heloo btw , u ok?

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melsy · 06/09/2005 16:28

nice to see my thread killer instincts r back!!!!!

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Kayleigh · 06/09/2005 16:28

i'm good - you sound stressed though

the lady i'm thinking of is called kate. she does do the indulgence eve but i'm not sure if she is the one you mean.

melsy · 06/09/2005 16:32

Yes it is Kate , Ive left a couple of messages.

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melsy · 06/09/2005 16:32

Good your good !!

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melsy · 06/09/2005 17:51

someone tell me not to have a pity party!

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Kayleigh · 07/09/2005 10:07

melsy - apparently kate is away for a week which explains why she hasn't returned your calls. How are you doing today ?

melsy · 08/09/2005 19:47

Ahh thanx for that Kayliegh, was just thinking about it.Caring of you to post. Ive been up and down last couple of days. Went to Cotswolds yesterday for a day out with dd and dh and still managed to sit in tears part of the way there and back.it didnt help that we went past the place were I had cancelled my pamper day,(how childish am I). I think my af's pmt is just really bad at mo ,cos of the stress Im putting myself through over my work. I may have brought this all on myself. I just need to find a way out- go- forbid it shud go down a slippery slope WHICH I WILL NOT LET IT.

corr what a ramble

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