Cant go out on days out :-(

[biglips]

as Dp wont go anywhere without his DD who is 6 (from a previous relationship) as we havent been anywhere without her yet and if i recommend a day out just with Dp and baba who is 11 months..DP said to me "no, as its not fair on ***" !! but i have said that i just want us to go out, but the problem atm is that 6 yrs old is increasingly getting jealous of baba as she cry at anything when Dp is around but when she is with me, she is good as gold! it seems that 6 yrs old doesnt like Dp paying attention to baba eg feeding the baba but he does play with both at the same time.. Dp does spend a day with 6 yrs old once a month to spend time together and he buys her things but its seems its not enough!! or she lets baba pulled her hair in the back of the car and we have told her numerous of times to either tie her hair up or sit away! but she just carried on or she shows me how to climb on the climbing frame in the park which she did it all by herself but last week, she couldnt get up the first step without going into tears...

(6yrs had got another half sister too as her mum got a baby who is 2)

do you understand where im coming from?

well i think it is understandable that she is jealous of the baby. she probably is scared that her dad will forget about her and just want the new baby.

i agree with him to a certain extent that it is a bit unfair on her, she's just a little girl!

i know as we do tell her that we love her and she is really a gud girl but in the last couple of weeks she is getting abit difficult and Dp is scared of letting it slip out if we have been anywhere without her but i said to Dp just while the baba is too young to talk, we will go somewhere

I don't mean to sound harsh, but I think you should be proud that your DP is such a caring and thoughtful dad.

I assume that your SD doesn't live with you? Then it definitely isn't fair that you can't go out as a family unless she's there. What's going to happen as your DD gets older? Is she not going to be able to do anything unless her ss is there?

I can understand that your Dp is worried about her, but he can't penalise everyone else to make things 'fair' for her.

no SD doesnt live with us as we see her every fortnight.... i know that Dp is trying his best to not get DD jealous but he trying too hard

How utterly ridiculous (your DP that is).

You have my utmost sympathy. As long as you do trips out and fun things when your SD is with you as well as when she's not there I really can't see the problem.

Does your DP really expect you to put your life on hold for a fortnight at a time?

I have a SS who is ten and honestly its never been an issue. While he's with his mother he does things with her and their family, when with us he does what we do.

Also we don't take him abroad with us as his mother hasn't been keen on this (he has high functioning Aspergers)but certainly wouldn't let it stop us from going away on hols.

I think you're just going to have to put your foot down.

Fair enough to let sd lead the agenda on shared days out with her dad. but it's not like your baby is going to boast about going out separately, is it ? Nor are you likely to do the same activities as you would on days with her. Can you suggest something which you and the baby might enjoy but sd wouldn't particularly find exciting (feeding ducks for example). Sounds like dp is gettign overanxious about sd and not comfortable with the way things are, so perhaps overcompensating.

i know as i cant win!! as SD does things with her mum and sister as same as with us but its not like we wil go to the lakes for a day or alton towers that type of thing but we did go to a farm last week and i was shocked about it as Dp didnt mention it about SD but he did say we will come down here again with *** which i dont mind at all,so maybe he had a think about ut or not! as i was moaning about us not going anywhere even if it an or two to go out and we've gotta wait for a fortnight to go anywhere

I can understand your frustration, Biglips but would also echo that it is great that your DP is such a caring Dad, so many men would just not be bothered. It's also good that you take such time and make such an effort with your SD.
She is obv feeling very vulnerable right now, but I agree, it shouldn't mean that your life "stops" between the fortnightly visits.....