Advice on slightly overbearing friend

[shalaa]

Hi, just after some advice.

I've recently (last 3wks) become friends with a lady who lives close by, she likes to phone and chat which I didn't mind to begin with but she's started phoning me 3+ times a day and spending over an hour on the phone each time.
General impression is she's very lonely and feeling a little depressed and keeps saying she has no purpose in her life. She's currently out of work and lives by herself and i'm trying to help the best I can but i'm starting to feel a little harassed. I switched my phone off while I was attending my sons hospital appointment (1hr) and she called me 5 times and left 4 messages asking where I was, I keep telling her i've got 2 young children to look after and i'm trying to study part-time as well but she keeps calling and I can't get her off the phone.

Don't want to seem rude or to upset her but it's hard to talk with the kids needing my attention and also when i'm rushing to finish an essay.

She is a bit overly keen and you do need to nip it in the bud.

No problem at all with letting your phone go to answer phone if you are getting multiple calls from her. I would wait at least 2 days then phone her and explain that you cannot talk to her every day because of your commitments, but if you do like her maybe arrange to meet once a week for coffee.

If she does keep calling after that feel free to either a) not respond to her calls or b) if you do answer say Sorry got to go, I have a cake in the oven/appointment to go to/am in the middle of studying.

Don't worry about appearing rude, she is the one who is overstepping social boundaries so put the onus back on her to either act like a normal friend or leave you alone.

Oh dear, alarm bells.
You will have to be very firm here , as Rookie says perhaps let your phone go to voice mail if you havent got time to speak to her . Is she likeley to start turning up at your house ?

Its sad shes like this but ultimateley shes not your problem so dont feel guilty about setting limits. Sadly people who dont understand social boundarys are hard work.