I've got a bit of a dilemma at the moment. Dh appears to be going through a bit of a mid-life crisis at present (he's 45) and is unhappy with his job, etc etc. I'm six years younger than him & am a SAHM/student. We have a 5 year old ds who is settled into a lovely school which I was fortunate to get him into. My parents live close by (about 5 minutes' drive away) and they have been wonderful in that they have a close relationship with ds, they look after him quite often when we go out, and they pick him up from school once a week & take him back to their place. I also have some long-term friends in this area as well as a group of mums who I've met through playgroup, etc. Basically I've lived in this city for around 20 years and dh has been here for about the same amount of time.
Dh has a real bee in his bonnet at the moment about moving somewhere else. He wants a change and is adamant about leaving his job and working for himself - he wants to buy a business in a coastal area about an hour's drive from where we live now. To do this, we would have to sell up and move, go into partnership with one of his colleagues and go into debt initially, but apparently this business is well-established and dh says the debt will be paid off in a few years through the profits of the business.
I can understand why it looks attractive to him but I am reluctant to move because I don't feel the same need to do it, for all the reasons I have listed above. Ds is an only child (he has two adult half-siblings) and all I really wanted for him was to have a secure school life & childhood. I moved around A LOT as a child and this makes me very reluctant to move him when he's happy. I don't wish to put my son through the same experience of being pulled out of a secure environment and moved somehwere else every couple of years, just to be the "new kid" in a different place again. Obviously this would be ds' first move but I am concerned that if this doesn't work out, we would have to uproot him again. To be honest I don't particularly want to leave my friends & family either as I still feel the effects of moving around so much as a child and I like having a stable life. Finally, I am also VERY concerned about this business becoming all-encompassing and taking over our lives (and our time), because I've seen it happen to several people.
I've discussed my feelings with dh but it usually ends up in an argument. I've also suggested that dh look around for a business to buy in our home town, but he is not interested in doing that and he doesn't seem to think that any of my reasons for staying here are valid - I think he just wants to move and that's that.
How would others feel if they were put in the same position? Should we move just because dh wants to? I understand that it's his career he's concerned with, and that he's the main breadwinner here - but I just wonder if he should be a little more willing to compromise instead of making me feel like an absolute b**ch if he doesn't get to do what he wants to do. He originally said he would try to find a business closer to home but he hasn't really tried, he's just keeps coming back to this same idea of moving away. Sorry it's long but I would really appreciate some input on this.. thanks.