Advice needed to kickstart social life for our family

[Spiralling]

I've name changed as I am feeling a little sorry for myself and probably just need a kick up the backside.

Since we moved house, past the baby and toddler stage, DH and I haven't managed to make many friends. We're in our third year of the move and between us we each have a few work friends (mine are all childfree or not married) and DH's are married with children but we are unlike them in many ways and know we need more than just them.

I work very part-time so mostly do the school run but I haven't yet found any opportunities to make friends with like-minded people from my scant time at the school gates.

We are not religious people. I cannot help thinking that people who move to a new city and join a church have an easier time meeting other like-minded families. We're unlukcy enough not to even have any neighbours who have children.

As we don't live near family, and don't belong to a church, I feel a need to replicate some sort of community for my children. I thought school would provide that but as we did not have much choice of schools, moving with school aged children, that has not materialised. Are we missing something that we could do to rectify this.

Has anyone had success in meeting other like-minded families through joining some sort of organisation, taking up a sociable activity? Is there anything we should involve ourselves in at the school, to help to get to know people other than the parents from our DC's classes?

I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself and still often regret the move we made, even though there is much that I love about living where we do.

What are yours and DH's interests? How old are your children? PTA at the school is my first thought but if yours isn't very active, that might not help. Are you thinking about things you can do altogether with other families or where one of you goes off to do something but there are social events off the back of it that the whole family can attend?

What about:

Round Table or other voluntary organisations
Scouts
Tennis or other sports clubs

?

Either individual activities that puts us in contact with more people who might have social events or something for us all as a family to do on a weekend.

Children are 8 and 6. We're outdoorsy and sporty and interested in green and social issues.

I'd be very interested in hearing of people's experiences of joining something like a tennis club, as well as hearing from people whose voluntary work has allowed them to meet people of similar ages, rather than single, young or retired people. I'm very open to, and do manage to, make friends with people different from me of all ages etc... but I don't like what is currently missing.

Not sure that I've got much advice, but I'm in the same boat myself! We moved recently and the DCs have just started a new school. Although they seem to have settled in well, I feel really lonely! I don't regret the move but I do miss my old friends - people I'd known since baby group. Now the DCs are older it's much harder to make friends with other parents I find.

I do plan on offering to help out at school - I don't really like PTA/committe type things but at the DCs' old school I helped with reading and school trips etc which I really enjoyed. I also used to volunteer for a local charity - have you thought about that? I suppose the secret is to find a sport or activity that you all enjoy and you are bound to find friends through that. My parents did a lot of sailing when I was younger, and there were always lots of similar aged kids hanging around the sailing club (and later sailing themselves) so my parents could enjoy their hobby while my sister and I had a ready-made social network.

Will be following this thread for any other tips!!

So what do you do that's outdoorsy and sporty? Can that be extended into a club or group environment? Would either of your kids be interested in a team sport such as football or rugby? Kids' sport at the weekend is IME a good way of meeting people (especially if you're happy to help coach or make tea!) as you're standing there watching with the same group of parents week in week out.

We're the walking/cycling type. I like team sports too but never could find a club as an adult. Maybe in a few years the children will be old enough to join a club and helping out does sound like a positive way to meet other parents and children.

What about orienteering? We have friends who do this and they have met loads of other families with young children - in fact they even met at an event, the clubs often have social events as well.

DS started football aged 5 if that's any help! Plus Cubs/Scouts would tick your "outdoorsy" boxes too (and they're always looking for Leaders).

Ooh, that's a good one chocolatefroggie

Orienteering sounds like a good idea. I'm not sure my 6 year old will be so keen, but we could give it a go.

Does anyone know if children are allowed to volunteer?

they do 'string courses' for kid's right from teeny - friends have offered to take our dd who is 2 so it's suitable for all age groups
lots of info here

Geocaching

We have met other families this way. Attend meets and now are going with a group geocaching and camping!

I moved to a different country where we knew nobody at all so it was sink or swim for me.

My plan was to do everything that anyone mentioned.... I went to tupperware parties, craft meetings, sewing classes, market days, the lot. I talked to people in parks and at swimming lessons. I treated it a bit like dating. You meet 100 people and out of that 100 you might get on with 3 of them.

In our little group at school we write up a little list of possible activities for in the holidays so

Tuesday 10-3 park such and such - bring bikes
Friday afternoon swimming

and we pass it around and people either go or they don't. It works pretty well as it is not as formal as going up to someone and saying 'do you want to go swimming on Friday'

I did get really involved with the school and that is a great way to meet people.