Kids at funerals

[Sweetie]

My grandfather died recently, and his funeral is next week. I am not taking my 8 month old son with me, as it is a long drive away and he would no doubt prefer to stay at home with my in-laws who are baby-sitting. My sister, on the other hand, is taking her 3 year old. I was wondering what people think about young children at funerals? My own feeling is that if the child is old enough to have at least some understanding of what is going on, and can understand that this is not a time to be running about shrieking, then there's no problem. Unfortunately, this will not be the case with my nephew - he has hearing and sight impairments which mean that he is developmentally a little behind his peers. It therefore is not possible to explain to him what is going on and why he should sit still!
my sister very firmly takes the view that where she goes, her son goes. Normally, I feel the same but I think funerals are different.

Difficult one - I can understand how your sister feels and it is a difficult time for you all. Does the church have a room for children? Often they do these days where parents can stay with them and hear and see what is happening but others can't hear what is happening inside the room. Best wishes.

My nana recently died and I took my son who was then 8/9 months. I wanted him to be there and I also take my son everywhere. But he stayed outside with his dad. They had a walk round the gardens looking at the flowers. He also helped for less tears afterwards as being around him you just cant help but smile.

I think it's okay to take children to funerals, so long as it isn't going to be a harrowing service. Sometimes it's more like a celebration of a life.

My baby was barely two when my father died and I'm sure he would have been delighted to know she was there. Maybe you could think about whether your grandfather would have liked him to be there?

Someone could be responsible for taking your nephew outside to play if he gets a bit too loud and boisterous.

I'm sure that my grandfather would have liked him to be there - however, I can't vouch for the many (elderly) relatives who will be there and who may find any disturbance upsetting!

I think your nephew has as much right to be there as anyone else, quite honestly. Maybe a word of explanation to the older folk along the lines of 'Grandpa would have wanted him here, I'm sure.' might placate them. Or your sister could contact whoever is doing the service and ask them to say something about your grandpa caring for his grandchildren.

I hope everything goes okay on the day.