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Original poster

For those of you nearly 40 ...

13 replies

Carla · 27/08/2005 22:55

Or over 40...

OP posts:

Original poster

Carla · 27/08/2005 23:07

I was going to say .. but lost my nerve .. have you discovered your sexuality? Cos I only just have. God, that sounds terrible, what I mean is that it's only now (with my old body) that I could feel comfortable enough to realise what those condom machines in the ladies loos' are for. Not that I'd ever use one, I just wondered if anyone else felt a bit more confident now it's too late

OP posts:

turquoise · 27/08/2005 23:16

Yes. I'm completely comfortable with, and have confidence in, myself and my flabby body at 41 (after 2 children), and that confidence is clearly more attractive than being a toned size 10 but full of self consciousness like I used to be.

Original poster

Carla · 27/08/2005 23:18

OK .. I'm going to kill my own thread here .. isn't there anybody willing to chip in? Or am I the only frustrated 40 year old ... perhaps that's why.

OP posts:

turquoise · 27/08/2005 23:21

Are you single Carla?
I am amazd how much my confidence grew after leaving dp at 40, when I had expected to curl up and die.

Original poster

Carla · 27/08/2005 23:25

tq, no, I'm not, I just realise now how if I had had the confidence then that I have now, things might have been a bit easier.

OP posts:

turquoise · 27/08/2005 23:27

Hell yeah . If only...

Original poster

Carla · 27/08/2005 23:30

tq, can I be nosey?

OP posts:

turquoise · 27/08/2005 23:33

Go on

Original poster

Carla · 27/08/2005 23:36

Mmmm ... children and a husband that you had to look after?

OP posts:

turquoise · 27/08/2005 23:46

I'm not sure what you mean? I still have the children, so no wild nights of rampant lust just yet, but at I actually feel there's more chance of it now than there ever was in my single, pre-children days, because I'm more confident IYSWIM. Because I'm free and happy and no longer living a lie.

turquoise · 28/08/2005 00:05

Or do you mean if I was still with dp? I think the key is what I said before about not living a lie, I did for years and I think the turning point for me was accepting defeat and making the end a beginning - so no, I don't think if I'd had a fling or whatever it would have helped much.

Original poster

Carla · 28/08/2005 00:20

tq, no, your last post was what I meant! How did you manage that? Pls excuse me for being nosey, but I'd love to know. H is currently in the pub, after telling me I was rubbish at clearing up our holiday home. I know I wasn't, it's just him getting his own back, for nothing at all.

OP posts:

turquoise · 29/08/2005 12:58

Sorry Carla I wasn't ignoring you - just went to bed!
It's a long story, but I think a large part of the confidence comes from having 'done the right thing' - as in not having a fling, but really giving the relationship every last chance so I have no regrets.
I don't know exactly what your situation is but you sound undervalued and unsupported to say the least, which is similar to how my relationship was. I'd be happy to msn or email if you'd like to cat me.

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