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Original poster

Would you let the practice nurse walk off with your child? (sorry long)

22 replies

whimsy · 26/08/2005 14:20

Went to doctors for ds2 to have jabs. We went in to see the nurse who prepared the needles while DS1(2.5 yrs) chatted away to me asking if I was going to lie on the bed ect. Anyway, the nurse walked over to us and picked DS1 up and walked to the other side of the room and said in a really stern voice "You sit there, out of the way", to which DS1 said "No I want mommy" she then picked him up by holding his arms together IYSWIM and walked out of room with him.
I was so shocked I couldn't or didn't react, she then walked in and said "He's with receptionists, if he knocks me while im injecting he'll hurt me??, baby or all of us" (He was stood still FFS).
I just looked down at baby trying not to cry.
My brother in laws sister was in the reception area with her baby, so I knew they'd keep an eye on him. I didn't know what to do. She injected DS2 and I just grabbed his red book and walked out to find ds1, who as it happens was sitting nicely with ladies.
I took his hand and walked into waiting room and burst into tears.
I was cross at what I'd done not moving or saying anything, just letting this strange woman walk off with my little boy. all the way home I've been feeling like a s**t mother and getting worked up about it.
Should I complain or just leave it as I should of said something. I feel so , &

OP posts:
madmarchhare · 26/08/2005 14:23

I can see how you may have been uncomfortable with the situation you were in but I probably wouldnt complain.

SleepySuzy · 26/08/2005 14:23

Yes!!

WigWamBam · 26/08/2005 14:28

I would have been furious that she was needlessly stern with him, she physically manhandled him without your permission, and she took him out of your sight without your permission. I think you would be perfectly justified in making a complaint.

SleepySuzy · 26/08/2005 14:28

So do I.

naughtynaughtynoonoo · 26/08/2005 14:30

I'd complain!

DS1 had his pre-school boosters last year (as he's a September baby - so a whole year before startig school LOL) with DS2 there....at that stage DS2 was already walking.

DS1 has also been at ALL of DS2's jabs, and I had DS1 with me (as a boisterous 3yr old) when I had my bloods taken when I was pg with DS2!

Twiglett · 26/08/2005 14:30

agree with WWB totally

paolosgirl · 26/08/2005 14:32

Complain initially to the Practice Manager her Nurse Manager (she/he may not be based in the Surgery) and ask them for their guidelines, because her behaviour was absoulutely, utterly unacceptable.
If you do complain, decide whether you want to make a formal complaint or just a comment. If formal, you have to make that clear in your letter.

paolosgirl · 26/08/2005 14:33

Sorry - Practice Manager AND her Nurse Manager

Original poster
whimsy · 26/08/2005 14:36

That's what I've been thinking WWB.
I'm just so angry with myself for not reacting, I keep bursting into tears. What sort of mother lets a strange woman walk off with her son.
I know toddlers can be boisterous and DS1 is no exception but he was being really good and was interested in what was going on

OP posts:
WigWamBam · 26/08/2005 14:38

Don't blame yourself - it sounds as if she didn't give you the chance to stop her, and it also sounds as if she would have carried on regardless of what you said.

It isn't your fault, the only person to blame is the nurse.

Original poster
whimsy · 26/08/2005 14:51

Thank you WWB

OP posts:
stacijc · 26/08/2005 14:59

I would definatly complain!!! she has no right to do that to your child((((whimsy))))

I too would have been too shocked to say anything so i know how u feel.....ds1 has been to all ds2's jabs(due his 3rd soon) and behaves brilliantly...theres no way he would behave if some stranger grabbed him and made him stand outside the door!!! He would be terrified(hes 2) and crying the place down.....am so angry for you!

chloe55 · 26/08/2005 15:41

Without a doubt you must complain. My friend had a similar episode with her dd, she made a formal written complaint. She received a letter from the hospital apologising and stating that the nurse in question had been given a verbal warning. This made her feel a little less angry about the whole ordeal.

As for feeling guilty about not doing anything there and then - how many times do we all say we wish we had.... but are just too shocked at the time to do anything. I would probably have not been very confrontational at the time and would have just got upset like you but I think it is important that the it is brought to the hospitals attention.

Pinotmum · 26/08/2005 15:44

What a strange nurse. I hope you're feeling a little better now. I think you have ever right to complain.

Pinotmum · 26/08/2005 15:45

every right ... , sorry

caligula · 26/08/2005 15:58

You should most definitely complain, she treated you with total disrespect. She may have had genuine concerns about safety, but that is really a contemptuous way to treat a patient. thepatientsassociation have a helpline and will tell you how to proceed further.

melissasmummy · 26/08/2005 16:01

Having been a Dental Nurse for 15 years I have had my fair share of children around. If the child was causing problems, then we would suggest to the mother or father that perhaps we should put in them waiting room, where somebody would watch them, if they were standing still/playing nicely we would just let them be.

I would make sure that the practice know that you felt uncomfortable & that you understand the reason she removed him, but that it should have been done in a much nicer way & that YOU should have had a say in it! I would point out that although a minor incident it may alter the way you son sees the practice & it may be enough to put him off going there. (it is surprising what a small incident can do in the eyes of a child)

Saying that, I do hope it hasn't. As a mother I thing I would have said something, but until were are in this situation, we can say how we would react!

CaptainCavemansMummy · 26/08/2005 16:11

That is just so out of order!! I am a nurse and it embarrases me that colleagues can behave towards patients so disrespectfully.
I would definately complain, otherwise she will carry on doing this to everyone else who 'dares' to bring two or more children into her room!
Caligula is right, contact the patients association for guidance. It's really worthwhile writing all your feelings down whilst they're fresh then leaving it for a couple of days, giving you chance to calm down (not that you should, just that she has understandably made you very angry!). When you re-read it, you will have the clarity of how she made you feel, and a good idea of the resolution you'd like to this issue? (sounds like she could do with some social skills for starters!)
Hope this helps,
CCM x

Original poster
whimsy · 26/08/2005 20:10

Thanks for all your support and advise. I have written down what happened and will be putting in a complaint. I'm going to contact the Patients Association and see what they say. Will let you know what happens.

OP posts:
nutcracker · 26/08/2005 20:26

Whimsey, this wasn't at the doctors by the bingo hall was it ???? (you know where i mean don't you, don;t wanna say the name LOL )

Original poster
whimsy · 26/08/2005 20:30

No nutty, it's another one.

OP posts:
beehive · 26/08/2005 21:05

she put you in a very difficult position whimsy because if you had objected she may have vented her anger at your youngest, so dont be too hard on yourself. However COMPLAIN, i used to work as a practice nurse and would NEVER have done this.

What a cow

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