22 month daughter refusing to go to bed!

[Teletubby]

Up until now my 22 month daughter has been a perfect sleeper (7pm - 7am) and has slept perfectly in her new bed for the last 4 months. I have just had another baby (2 months old) who was surprisingly very well accepted by my eldest and the sleepless nights with my newborn did not appear to disturb her sister. Now completely out of the blue my eldest has decided that she is not under any circumstances going to go and sleep in her own bed! It seems you get one sorted out and then the other plays up!
We follow the same bath time/bed time routine, have quiet time and a story but the moment you go to leave the room she becomes hysterical, climbs off of the bed and starts banging at the door. We've tried continually putting her back into the bed and praising her for being in it but she will not give in. Her screaming wakes up my other daughter and then we all end up exhausted. I'm at a loss as to what to do, should i be letting her come and sleep in with me just for the sake of getting some sleep or do you think this will cause bigger problems? Should i get cross with her or comfort her? i really don't know what to do for the best all i know is my husband and i are getting pretty tired what with night feeds with a newborn and another child that won't go to bed.
I would be really grateful for any advice.
thanks

Try a tape machine with a story? Put it up high so she cant turn it off and will have to stay put to hear the (exciting ) tale

oh memories. my daughter went thro that stage at around 2 years, soon after we moved into a rented house. in the end we gave up, and just let her settle in our bed and then moved her later. now she sleeps pretty well in her own room, occasionally gets out of her bed to get into mine at bedtime but only generally if she is unwell.
i know some people will totally disagree with what i did, but remember children get scared being on their own sometimes. thats my view anyway.

sarah

you could always move her back when she is asleep?

I had this at this age with my dd2 last year,and I'm afraid, from my experience I can't offer any miracle solutions. With my dd2 and with hindsight, it all started as there'd been lots of changes going on in her life at that time. It did settle, but it did take quite a long time. I would try to keep to the same routine as much as possible and just keep putting her back, don't give eye contact or speak to her except say a firm "bedtime". We tried other solutions, eg juice/lights etc and that definitely prolonged the agony. She did like her book tapes though and became attatched to a rabbit too that helped her settle. I think it's an age thing and a "new baby" thing. Can you push the Big Sisters stay in bed line? Sorry I can't be much help, but trust me, I really sympathise!?

Thanks for those bits of advice, it's nice to know that other people have gone or are going through the same. My concern was that if i let her sleep with me for a while for comfort would she then never get back into her own bed but i guess you're right that children get scared too. I'd much rather just give in and have her in with me than keep having this awful battle that leaves us all cross and upset. It may well be a delayed sort of insecurity from the new baby etc

I haven't tried the big sister line, mainly because her screaming is so loud that she can't hear a thing i say anyway but maybe it's worth having a quiet chat with her before i take her up to bed. I have tried a star chart which is still sitting pretty 'star free' on the sideboard! Putting myself in her shoes i guess she has had alot of change what with starting a nursery two mornings a week at the beginning of the year, moving into a big bed etc come to think of it i'm beginning to actually feel really sorry for the poor little love who is still sitting beside me peeping over the arm of the sofa!

dd1 moved into a big bed soon after we moved, i was pregnant, anf it was a totally new area for her. so i just gave her lot of comfort and let her get away with sleeping in my bed for a time. she was back sleeping in her own bed by the time her sister was born in the sept, and i was always moved her back into her own bed each night.

dd was doing this a few weeks back...never knew what acused it. (no changes in the fanily or her routine), but we did controlled crying for a few days (but it might be difficult for you with the baby), and it worked.

Some days she still refuses to go, but she's happy to go on our bed (while we're downstairs) and then we move her when we go to bed ourselves, she hasn't done this now for a couple of weeks.

I was also afarid she might just refuse to ever fall asleep on her own again, but she doesn't and on those occasions when for some r4eason she doesn't want to go in her cot, I leave her in our bed rather than let her cry. And we're all happier