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Original poster

Need an unmumsnet like hug

15 replies

bargainhuntingbetty · 29/07/2010 13:42

Dad has been in hospital with an ongoing problem which keeps rearing its ugly head, after telliing him it is just an infection he has he is now under threat of losing his leg, something which he was under threat of 18 months ago and has struggled to come back from.

My mum is a wreck, my dad is a wreck and up until now i have been ok.

DD has also had a melt down as she has not seen any friends this holiday and she feels that no one likes her and is dreading going back to school She only has one friend at school and she has been on holiday the whole summer.

I am close to breaking point, cannot sleep without having nightmares about my dad, best friend moved away at Xmas and am really really feeling that too. Basically am just having a shit time and need a hug.

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Original poster
bargainhuntingbetty · 29/07/2010 13:46

Sorry should have added it was a long one and I am a moan.

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MaryBS · 29/07/2010 13:47

Consider yourself hugged... its a lot for ANYONE to put up with, and no you are NOT a moan, but you DO need to rant!

Original poster
bargainhuntingbetty · 29/07/2010 13:54

I do need to rant but feel at the moment that I have no one to rant too. DH is good but he cant give me any advice cause he doesnt know what to say. BF moved away, SIL tied up with her mum and her friend who has just lost her mum and I havent phoned my other friend this holiday dont know why really. Just having a really bad day. Feel so bad for mum and dad but cant do anything to help and dont know what else to do for dd as I have tried everything I can think of, she is just not outgoing at all.

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MaryBS · 29/07/2010 13:59

How old is DD? Mine struggles with friendships too, and has made EXACTLY the same comments. We've been going out to do some fun things, like I met up with an old friend, and DD played with her daughter.

Can you do something girly with your DD?

Are the health professionals supporting you all re: your dad?

Original poster
bargainhuntingbetty · 29/07/2010 14:07

Hi, the staff at the hospital are keeping an eye on my mum and dad but to be honest I dont feel like I am entitled to be feeling like this as I am not living with it in the same way as my mum and dad.

With regards to dd, she is 9 and has always struggled. We have taken her to lots of places where she has met up with several people from her class who she has played with but they still insist they dont like her She is not confident enough to just play with them in the playground and I was like that as a child and know how it felt and it breaks my heart. I have also been taking her to meet kids that she doesnt know so that she is forced into a situation where she has to play with strange kids.

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MaryBS · 29/07/2010 14:14

Unfortunately they're at that age where many girls are getting incredibly bitchy. DD(who is 10) has had former friends turn on her and make her life a misery. Does she have any interests that she could develop? I've been trying to bolster her confidence, but I'm crap at the friendship stuff too. Found out less than 2 years ago, I have Asperger's, which I guess explains it for me.

MaryBS · 29/07/2010 14:16

And of COURSE you're entitled to feel like this, don't be silly, he's your dad, you can't switch off feelings just like that!

Original poster
bargainhuntingbetty · 29/07/2010 14:16

It is hard, I am trying very hard to form frienships myself and let her see me do it so she can see that it can be done but I am crap at it too. HOpe it works out for your dd.

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MaryBS · 29/07/2010 14:20

If anything it ought to be easier for her than for you. Are there any activity clubs in your area, over the hols?

Original poster
bargainhuntingbetty · 29/07/2010 14:22

I have tried all of that and she goes once stands against the wall and then decideds that she does not want to go as she doesnt know anyone. She goes to cubs on a Tuesday but goes with her best friend so they tend to just stick together.

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MaryBS · 29/07/2010 14:24

What about solo-ish fun activities? Or stuff she can do with you? Mine likes wall climbing (!), and swimming

Original poster
bargainhuntingbetty · 29/07/2010 14:29

Yeah I am doing lots and lots of that but I feel that she should be mixing with her own age and playing like a child should IYSWIM. I am taking her out every single day to beaches, swimming, parks etc so she is not bored but I need for her to be more sociable for when she goes back to school

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MaryBS · 30/07/2010 04:16

Hmm... well I had hoped others would join in on this, as I'm not the best person to advise. All you can do, I think, is give her enough opportunities to make friends, and hopefully she will find someone to connect with. (am off on holiday in 5 hours, so probably won't see any reply!)

Original poster
bargainhuntingbetty · 30/07/2010 17:04

Thank you for replying, its nice to know I am not alone.

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Original poster
bargainhuntingbetty · 02/08/2010 15:51

Bumping for today cause I am having a really rally bad day.

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