If your child is nervous or even afraid of dogs, how do you feel about it?

[ragged]

Is your attitude closer to --

A) I hate dogs, too
or
B) I consider it a top priority to help them overcome their aversion.

Or what?

Both.

Why?

er neither

And do you mean hate, or do you mean fear?

It is possible to be scared of something without hating it. Hate is a very strong word.

I would say

A I am scared of dogs too and B I don't want my children to be scared of them.

Anyway why do you ask?

i love dog. i think it is a shame for ds2 that he is scared of them. But whilst I try there is little I can do. So mostly I think 'big dog coming this way, get between DS2 and big dog'.
That is as deeply as I think about it really

I ask because of something that happened in the park yesterday -- did not involve anyone I would consider a child, btw.

Am not out to start an argument, just trying to understand something.

closer to b
we live in the country

DD is frightened of dogs yet went through a phase of telling me she wanted to get a dog. I just try to help her respond to them in a proportionate way.

A) but I know it should be B). I try not to let my dislike of all things canine show, and tell them there's nothing to worry about in a hearty voice as they're flinching in terror.

My DS2 is nearly 14. Does not make his fear of dogs any easier to deal with.
But I would always try to reassure him even though I understand that he is terrified and he needs to know I understand that his fear is genuine IYSWIM
What don't you understand

what happened?

Yes what happened?

My nephew is scared of dogs, we were away last week and he squealed every time one went past on the beach. If he were mine I would tell him to get over it and stop squealing (as it will encourage the dog to come over anyway), but my sis prefers to pick up and cuddle him when he's frightened (I think that makes him believe there's something to be afraid of).

So, having not answered your question at all, I will do.
a) I like dogs, as does my sister
b) I think he needs to get over it, but it's not a TOP priority. She thinks that it's good for children to be able to express their fears!

Oh, and what happened?

I think you're right - it does reinforce the belief that there's something to be scared of, which is why I try not to pander to my DCs' reactions (while not showing that I'm very uncomfortable around dogs myself).

But you have to balance that against teaching children to have a healthy wariness of strange dogs.

I love dogs.

My eldest child adores dogs and remembers our old dog well.

My youngest is 2 and too young to remember our dog. He is really scared of dogs. Petrified. Can't possibly be anything he has picked up from his sister or me. Must just be because they are big (HUGE from his viewpoint) hairy, unpredictable, noisy, slobbery things.

I don't feel strongly about his fear of dogs tbh. I never reinforce it or tell people that he is scared of dogs. I don't want it to be 'his thing'. By the same token I acknowledge his fear and remove him from a situation if there is a dog. I am very 'meh' about it, and assume that by making it a non-issue, coupled with the fact that his sister and I adore dogs (and we will probably have another family dog at some point) that he will naturally get over it.

DCs were very nervous of dogs when they were younger. I'm not a fan, although I tolerate them on a one-to-one basis, but I don't think I reinforced the nervousness. I also didn't force them to confront it. If they were nervous of a situation I'd take them out of it. As they've got older they've pretty much grown out of it.

TBH we try and avoid them as both DS2 and I have asthma that's aggravated by dog hair.

My Dd2 (5) is scared of anything with more legs than her. Even our very saft 3 legged cat. Oh, and the fish.

She is also scared of dogs, not sure why as she's never had a bad experience with one.

I try to encourage her to at least get within 3 metres of them, closer if i know the dog and it's used to children. My friend has a 4 month old spaniel puppy and Dd2 took one look and said she wanted one, but then wouldn't go near it. I don't force her, or give her cuddles for reassurance as at some point Dh would like a dog and she'll have to get over it.

B

we were doing really well till the school had a police dog in which caught its handler and drew blood, shes not as bad as she was but it definitely set her back, and of course in the meantime she has handed it onto her sister. next doors dogs are helping though!

what happened?

It was just a teenager who was scared of another teenager's dog. I really don't want to start a debate, but from the replies I've realised something already which helps me understand the debates on MN better... which is that often it's both the child and their parents who are uncomfortable with dogs.

b)
Although she is really quite wet and has an aversion to all manner of more common things, such as the hoover.

to be fair, dogs were actually ok by her until some some absolute penis in the park let his staffie climb all over her and start nipping at her clothes. so I can sort of see where she's coming from.

. any other replies?

I think parental responses make a huge difference.

As children, my sister and I were both very scared of dogs. My parents were too, particularly my mother. We had had a horrid experience - when my sister was small a springer spaniel leapt onto her in her pushchair and my mother beat it off with an umbrella! So we were all scared, and I am sure that I was made more nervous because my mother could not help her own reaction around dogs.

BUT both my sister and I married men who love dogs and are very confident around them, and gradually lost our fear and now both have dogs ourselves. And all our children love dogs, not in the least bit scared, know how to spot which dogs are agressive and which aren't. It's all good. What is even nicer is that our two nice friendly dogs have really helped my parents who both actively like our dogs and are less nervous of others that they meet.

All that said though, I wouldn't blame any nervous parent who can't conceal their fear from their child. I have a real phobia about something else which I simply can't be brave about around my kids.

If my children were afraid of dogs, I don't think I would actively try to make them less scared because I think that is actually very hard to do, but I would teach them how to behave to make being bothered by a dog less likely.

I'm so glad to hear you managed to work thru all that NRN.

I can't help but think of fear of dogs as a safety issue (perhaps only a bit less important than learning to swim). Dogs are everywhere in our society and I want my children to have a basic familiarity with what they are like, how they communicate, how to tell when are they threatening and when are they being friendly.

But I guess if you have issues yourself it's very hard to resolve similar fears in your child. I understand that better, now.

"'There will always be some idiot who thinks the world should put up with their darling dog."

I agree. I hope my past fears make me a better dog owner. I always assume that other people might be afraid, rather than the reverse.

ragged I'm glad this thread has helped.