Q&A on back to school and bedwetting with agony aunt Jenni Trent-Hughes

[CatherineHMumsnet]

With the end of school term fast approaching (or indeed already here for some folks) September might feel blissfully far away, but with school uniform already taunting us from the shops, it'll feel like no time at all before we're back fighting with name tags and buying new pencil cases.

DryNites expert Jenni Trent-Hughes is available to help with any anxieties you might have about getting your child prepared for school. Are they moving on to a new stage or perhaps starting for the first time at "big" school?? Does staying in "routine" all summer help children, or should we all just relax and then work on easing them back into a routine slowly after a long summer off?

As an agony aunt and regular writer and commentator on social issues, Jenni is happy to answer any queries about you or your child's mental well-being, but as a DryNites expert she's also well placed to offer advice on bedwetting too. If your child wets the bed, are you concerned about how going back to school will affect him or her?

Post your questions on any child-related or bedwetting issues for Jenni here by Weds 28th July and we'll put them to her and post her advice on the Mumsnet DryNites area. Everyone who asks a question will be entered into a prize draw to win £100 vouchers for a store of your choice.

It is still adding a softer layer through the waterproof one as that isn't thick.

ah yes sorry i get it now - another layer of paddi g on top of the mattress

Hi, I would like a little bit of advice (if you please)!
My daughter 3.7 will be starting at nursery school this September. I thought it would be a good idea to get her ready by taking her to a local nursery 3 days a week (2days 5hrs including lunch and 1 day 3 hrs back home for lunchtime) However she has hated it, cried daily from leaving the house, been unsettled throughout the sessions and on being picked up has been crying, she has been going for 4 months now. I have tried to get her involved in the whole 'uniform selecting' etc but she just keeps telling me that she isn't going!!
I have tried the... you will have so much fun baking and painting etc but nothing seems to work. Any advice on how to talk to her about it or shall I just leave it for now? Many thanks in advance.

Hi all.

My daughter has been looking forward to starting at the school across the road for 2 years, but now we have to move areas before school starts so she will be going to a school she hasn't even seen. Our move isn't 100% confirmed yet so I haven't told her anything about any of this, but I'm worried about how to handle telling her she won't be going to the school she was expecting to attend. She's very confident and I don't want to dent her confidence, so would welcome any advice or suggestions anyone may have. Thank you

It's well worth having a waterproof mattress cover, a top softer waterproof mattress cover and then a sheet - so if you need to change in the middle of the night it's easy to do. Also, a good tip is to put a spare fitted sheet in a pillow case either under the bed or under the pillow (unless your child is likely to wee there too) then you have it to hand for quick changes.

thanks wmmc! I was planning to do a double layer so I'd just need to take the top lot off (unless of course he wees twice!)
I'm a bit concerned now after reading a post on here from someone whose DD was dry at night until she took the pull ups off - that'll be my boy!

DD took her own pull ups off -- she was three years and four months I think - said they were for babies and pulled them off. We had no accidents from that point. Recently she's had a spate of bed wetting but it's related to illness so we are not worried. I'm just glad I still have my maternity pads for the sheets so when she does I can whip off the mattress cover and know we are safe if she does it again (she never does btw, once her bladder is empty - providing I don't give her a drink - she's set till morning).

I have a question and I really need advice.

DS is 10 and still wets at least 2 - 3 times a week. We went to see an Enurisis nurse for 2 years, tried alarms (slept through them, waking the whole house up and was soaked by the time we woke him up), drugs (completely failed), limiting drinks after 6pm (never works) and measuring bladder capacity - NEVER enough.

We eventually gave up seeing her as she had exhausted all her avenues. He knows he is suppoed to drink loads in the day but never does and at 10 I can't stand over him. He always complains of thirst at about 7pm and whines / cries when I say no. He just doesn't seem to WANT to be dry. He has had sleepovers / camps and school trips and somehow muddled through (not very successfully - I often get a sleeping bag back with 3 or 4 sodden dry-nites in )

Where do I go from here - I am completely lost. He can't keep wetting, he's entering puberty. Help PLEASE.

fearne, my DS1 is eight and sounds very like yours, although bladder capacity was deemed fine by the local enuresis team. We are waiting to try alarms, but I am fairly sure he will sleep through them as well!

He wants to do sleepovers but doesn't want to do them if he's wetting and it's making him anxious, and the rest of the family bear the brunt of his ill humour (putting it mildly). He had six nights dry last week, but this week has been wet every night since Sunday. It's not hormones as desmopressin didn't work for him at all.

At a loss what to do next, but I do know that pull ups aren't the answer.

and to pinkfluffyworld, if your DD has been dry for a considerable spell, then it's unlikely to be hormone related. According to our enuresis nurse anyway.

Hi, was wondering what to do as my son who is 6 is adamant that he is too grown up for night time pants, yet he still wets the bed every night.

It must be damaging to his self esteem, but he doesn't want to be seen as a baby in nappies.
It is killing the mattress too

Alaska totally agree with you, but this was raised when MN first mooted the drinites area and wanted Q&A then - they didn't get much and thus this looks like a second attempt to 'beef up' the advice there....at least it now mentions the hormone issue - it didn't originally. But hey, this is the power of the advertising pound! Frankly search the Behavour and dev board there is one MNer on there who is a nurse in this area and her advice is excellent - can't recall name...begins with S

Maybe stop calling them nappies. They are pyjama pants, pull ups, etc.

My DD2 is 6 1/2 and became dry at night when just 4. She has then gone through dry periods of anything between a week and 7 months! However, she still regularly wets the bed and there seems to be no pattern to it. Sometimes she will be dry for a month and then wet just one night or she can wet upto 3 nights in a week.

I know there's no real treatment before she turns 7 but in the meantime I'm just looking for handy hints. She doesn't drink fizzy drinks or tea/coffee and I don't restrict her drinking as I am told this can make the problem worse.

She's quite a laid back child and doesn't really seem to care that she wets the bed, and I never tell her off for it.

Many thanks for any advice you may have.

My DS is 4 and starting reception in september. He has been going to a nursery part time and refuses to do a poo there. I haven't got any really coherent reason out of him for this, my best guess is that he doesn't want to ask the staff there to wipe his bottom. At home he can wipe his own bottom (not perfect, but good enough ...) but often refuses to do so despite us refusing to do it for him. For a few months he was wiping his own bum, but seems to have regressed. What can we do to encourage him to wipe himself? With him starting 5 full days a week in september I don't want him to develop the habit of never doing a poo at school.

Thanks

Beattiebow have you tried knickers (maybe quite tight ones at night)? - it might be the feel of something on her bottom that stops her weeing

scrappy - just a thought, but if your DD is still very unsettled and the transfer between schools is likely to be that quick, could you just wait until it comes through to send her at all. A child doesn't legally have to attend school until the term after they turn 5. If it's not a logistical nightmare for you it might be worth thinking about.

Also just wanted to second someone's recommendation of the ERIC website. I used their tips re food and NLP with my DD who'd been dry for 2 and a half yrs but started bedwetting frequently in the run up to starting primary school - the difference has been amazing and there were signs of improvement within about a week so well worth looking at if you're having issues that don't seem to have a typical, medical solution.

Hi all

Thanks for all your questions so far - please keep them coming and we'll pass them on to DryNites on Weds eve. Just a heads up for those with bedwetting problems that DryNites and are hosting an event for mumsnetters with Dr Penny Dobson - founder and former director of ERIC (the UK charity for bedwetting) where you can put your queries to her in person. The event will be held in London (travel expenses paid up to £50) on 30th September. For more information click here

Thanks,

MNHQ

Hi I have a question,

My ds is 4 and has never ever woken up dry so is still in nappies.

Do we wait for him to wake up dry one day before letting him go it alone? What if this never happens?

Thanks!

I have a question about bedwetting in a 6 year old but would like to know what makes Jenni an expert on this before I do...

That sounds abrasive, but it isn't meant to be. I really would like to check credentials before asking.

i have filled the survey in.

i think it would be useful to get some expert advice before any GP visits are thought about

So did jenni " studying to be a magistrate but available for cruises" ever establish her credentials ?

Hello all,

You can now see Jenni's answers here!