Naming ceremony for 5 year old dd

[aznerak]

Long story but we had our son christened in a CofE church when he was 5 months old to appease ultra religious in-laws. They have since passed away and we have also had a daughter.

We had every intention of getting her christened, but then moved away from the church where our son was christened.

As we are not church goers and unfortunately, both in-laws passed away, there has been no "pressure" on us to have our dd christened.

We had always intended to do it and got as far as choosing godparents. This was the first thing that slowed the process down, as one godparent is in the army and was sent to Afghanistan for 9 months and then back for 3 months only to be sent to Iraq for another 6 months.

He was then stationed in Germany.

All excuses, I know but it certainly doesn't encourage planning!

Anyway, all godparents are now in the country so we feel we need to do something. Neither me or my DH are vaguely religious. We both "believe" but don't think that you should have to attend church every weekend to prove your belief. We have contacted our local parsih CofE church and they require weekly attendance for 6 months before you can even apply for a christening. I don't want to be forced into this and also don't want to be hypocritical. I would only be going for the sole purpose of getting her christened.

So, we've decided to go the civil route and have a civil christening/naming ceremony. Has anyone ever been to such an event for a 5 year old?

Any thoughts, advice or suggestions?

Thanks in advance

totally get your point about naming ceremony. I guess it isn't that, its a civil christening and a general celebration of her life

No but we had naming events for both of ours DD at 6 months, DS closer to 18 months. Lovely!

Except that they want promises made -- the child will have special adults in her life who will be making a commitment to her.

I'd talk to the British Humanist Association -- there's no reason a "naming ceremony" has to be *called" a naming ceremony and I'm sure a good celebrant will have been through this before and have some good suggestions.

Personally, I'd call it a "celebration" of DD and explain to invitees / put in a note that you'd originally intended it to be a naming ceremony but that with X being out of the country for so long time got away from you and it's not really appropriate to call it a naming ceremony any more, but you'd still love the people who are important to your DD to be with you for the day.

I second the humanists!!

Thanks ProfessorLaytonismyloveslave, I'm glad you get what we want.

Themildmanneredjanitor - I appreciate your comments but we really are not the religious type as I said before, so to have a church thanksgiving ceremony would seem hypocritical. Also, our local church has been unwelcoming to say the least and we hadn't mentioned any kind of christening or anything. we just went along a couple of sundays and they were so judgemental. it seems a real shame. churches are often complaining of low attendance and when we did go, they were so unfriendly towards us as new people, it seems a real shame

But you blatantly don't get completely what aznerak wants if you did then why did you put, forward a church-based event where no promises are made for someone who doesn't want a church event but does want promises made? (Sorry, that's coming across unnecessarily brusque no matter how many times I try to rewrite it I've been scrapping on the Dr Pepper thread all day and it's clearly not worn off yet)

We had naming ceremonies for our DCs and they have "secular godparents" or "oddparents" or "special adults" or whatever you prefer to call them is. A big part of this was about our making promises to the DCs, in front of everyone else, about how we intend to bring them up, and the oddparents' making promises about the role they will play in their lives and how they will support the DC and support us in living up to the promises we made. It's not just a "ritual to mark the start of the child's life" or a party. In fact, it is very much like a secular christening, although without the "Christ". It's a secular ...ening, if that makes you happier.

I'm thinking here of a humanist or do-it-yourself naming ceremony, admittedly -- I'm not sure what the ceremonies done by registrars are like, although from vague memories of the one I attended years ago they offer a fair amount of scope for the same thing.

A different option:
Have you moved very far from the church where your DS was christened? If not, how about going back there? While you are 'supposed' to go to your local parish church, if you have a special reason for wanting a christening to take place in another church, that vicar may agree to it. Ours did - we had moved, though only a few miles, and though our nearby church was OK, we wanted to have our DS christened in the church where we got married. Vicar agreed, job done.
Given that you have said you do believe in God, I would look at what your previous church, or other nearby churches, have to say.