Do you think this is rude?

[Gobbledigook]

FIL is here this weekend - he's asleep. Whenever he visits he sleeps in the day, then he'll fall asleep at tea time then he'll nod off in front of the TV at night.

I just think it's a bit rude to fall asleep if you are a guest. He's not played with the boys at all - they are in their playroom playing together or playing outside but he doesn't join in. He watches tv, reads or sleeps.

I just don't see the point.

ha ha ha - or shave one of his eyebrows off, that old chestnut

maybe you make him so welcome and he feels so comfortable in your company
let him snooze- the poor old bugger has probably worked hard all his life, he's not hurting anyone

strugstux

I know what you mean Caligula - this is what Jools says - that you should be able to be so relaxed if staying with family. Anyway, I still find it a bit odd.

And tonight - after I've not stopped all day between working (paid) and cleaning, shopping (for food) and preparing evening meal - we sit down to eat in the garden, buffet type meal, just all filled our plates ready to eat and ds1 spills his apple juice all over the plate with the cold meats on. FIL and dh carry on happily filling their faces while mine sits there and I spend 10 minutes dabbing all the meat off with kitchen roll. Even when they clear their plates and I've not started, they help themselves to more without even offering to take over! SO RUDE!

I'd find it odd, but not rude. Wouldn't like it, but as he's one of the family, would grin and bear it - but not go overboard with the invites to see us.

If you feel devilish, and his habit is winding you up, you could ask him, in your nicest and most concerned way, if he finds your company boring as you've noticed he drops off to sleep when he comes round.

TBH if you really do feel cross about him sleeping, then you shouldn't ignore that feeling, family or not.

Does he help with anything?
How long is he staying?

just seen your last message gdk - mow that really is rude. I would say something to your husband first, make sure he realises you feel taken for granted in your own home by a guest.

I think if you invite him into your house, just stay inside all day while the kids play then maybe for him there is nothing else for him to do. But if you invite him to your house, and entertain him - go for walks, take kids to park, go out for Sunday lunch, then that is rude for himto sleep through

No, he doesn't really help at all. I suppose he's not here to help = but then that's not the point is it? As a guest don't you usually offer to wash dishes or dry or something?? I would - as a guest at a family home or friends home.

FIL and dh have been waited on by women all their lives basically - dh is pretty good now though I have to admit, but it's been hard work . Was quite shocked tonight when he didn't offer to take over as it's something I would expect him to do usually. I was livid (and it's totally the wrong time of the month to get on the wrong side of me )

In my family as a guest you expect to be entertained. If no entertainment then falling asleep is perfectly acceptable.

Well,that's the majority of blokes for you isn't it?
If he can't be arsed,why should you?
Those nice alfresco suppers can be nipped in the bud for a start.
Mention an appointment at about 6ish tomorrow night and in front of all the lads,say something vague like
'I think there's a tin on two in the cupboard'
(If that feels too mean,take the boys out with you and leave dh and fil on their own.)

I also hope you're not running about making constant cups of tea for him??

My mil gets on my nerves (started a thread a while back whilst pondering whether to invite her to Turkey when I'm here-aaargghhh!. However,she helps as much as she possible can,plays with the kids,and comes loaded with stuff for us!)