For those of you with teenagers who are onlies....

[dalek]

what do you do about going out and babysitters when they are 12, 13,14 or 15?

My dd is currently 10 and we take her out with us when we can but sometimes for example (if we are going to the pictures or going out on a school night) we use a babysitter.

She keeps asking her when she can be left on her own - I don't want to leave her on her own - even as a 15 year old. What does everyone do?

Also, when did you make the leap from one room to two on holidays - obviously increases the price of holidays considerably and therefore affects where we go on holiday.

TBH, by the time she is 15, you WILL leave her on her own. It just seems like you wont at the moment.

DD is 14 and we packed her off to nannies or friends houses, until only last year. Now a days, she either arranges to stay at a friends house, or a friend stays here and we leave them to it.

We never go very far on our own anyway. The local pub is only a 10 min walk. The most we did was a party last year, where we were there until 4am, but it was across the road! We checked her and her mate, every hour, until they told us to leave them alone, because they were trying to sleep!

Thanks Maureen. The thing is we do tend to go out regularly and sometimes in to London - don't think I'll ever feel comfortable about leaving her in those circumstances - a friend is a good idea.

What do you do re holidays?

Until she was 12, we stayed in a caravan, so it wasn't a problem! We did go away abroad last year, but because she was already an adult in the eyes of travel companies, I suppose we just expected to pay that much to get 2 rooms.

We do go away once a month and we share a family room, at a Premier Inn. It's never been a problem tbh. DH gets dressed in the bathroom and then DD goes in. That is only for 2 nights though. I hadn't really though about it!

Oh and you will feel comfortable, I promise!

There is a massive different from being 10 to being 14 or 15. Once she's at secondary school, they become very independant, very quickly. The first couple of times it's a killer, but believe me, it'll be fine!

You might find also that she doesn't want to be left, so you don't have to agonise too much. I'm an only, and even when I was 14 and babysitting for other people, I liked to have a friend round rather than be in the house on my own if my parents were out away from the village.

I went to London from Brussels where we live for the day for a meeting recently, dh dropped me at the station. I left ds 14 with 15 yo school friend all day. I rang once to see if they were up at about 1200, and they sorted themselves out without any problems. Dh got home at about 1645 and fed them.

We leave ds now in the evening on his own, and he is glued to his computer in the main, so it is not a problem. I am not out too late however.

I would never have been comfortable with leaving dd for long periods at the age of 10. If I did leave her in the house for a short while I rang her constantly.

However she is 14 now and it is so different, the mindset, that you won't believe it. I am more than happy to leave her in the house now if me and DP go out for an evening. She is glad to see the back of us!

I am also happy for her to let herslef in after school etc, and have been so since she was in Year 8, so 13.

Wrt rooms in hotels, we still have the one room with an extra bed, it's fine. You are not really in your hotel room that much on holiday anyway. I wuld much rather have dd in our room, than in a room on her own down the corridor.

DS is 15 and we left him without babysitters from age 12. He spent the night alone (ie overnight) last week for the first time and was fine.

We've never shared a room with ds, always got interconnecting rooms or villas.

I'm sure that when your dd is 15 you will be relaxed about leaving her. 15 is a young adult imo.