Raising one child - tips

[MindySimmons]

Would love to hear from other mums of one on their tips of raising one. Not suggesting it should be drastically different, more that there are different dynamics and needs for families with 1, 2, 3 and more.

Motivation for this thread is that:

1. One child is apparently the fastest growing family unit size, but there's still so much negative stereotyping about it
2. I love having one but I know the household dynamics are different than 2 plus, so would love to know how much you play with them, leave them to play on their own etc.
3. Holidays and activities

And anything else you can think of!

I'm a 27 year old Mum, to a 10 year old, and I am thoroughly happy and content with my choice to only have one (which you don't realise until the child is older)... My life is very stress-free, I have heaps of time to myself (just the little things like having a nice long bath with candles!) and I have been able to focus and provide well for my child.

My advice would be to simply not have another out of social pressure or 'sibling guilt', my Son has never asked or complained about being an only child. We have an excellent relationship with incredible communication.

He doesn't seem to have any 'only child traits', he's happy to share, he isn't spoilt and he socialises very well with all age groups.

I am very much looking forward to guiding him through his teenage years, without having to focus on anyone else... and I often sit back and think about the fact that when he is 18, I'll only be 36! Plenty of time for me to then go and travel the world and have long weekends away!

Obviously all women are different, for me, I simply knew that I only wanted one child, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Happy Mother with a happy child.

:D

CosmicMum what a wonderful, positive empowering post!

It's a breath of fresh air to read about your experiences with your son on a board like this where so many of the posts are of a "I'm so happy with my DS/DD but..." flavour.

So many posts here are about how people enjoy their familiy lives with their only children but are I feel tinged with sadness and/or gult and anxiety that the parents will never have more children, or, moreover, be able to provide siblings for their child.

I have said it before and will say it again, it is so sad because 9 times out of 10 these parents' feelings are projected onto their child (and I'm not suggsting for one minute that anyone means to do it intentionally) who in turn develop negative feelings and a keen sense of missing out on siblings too.

Ou experiences with our DS are just as you describe CosmicMum. To stop at one child was a conscious choice we made right from the start. We only ever wanted one and that's what we had. We are happy with our choice and as a result our DS is happy with it too.

Thanks GenevieveHawkings!

Although I can totally understand why a woman would long for another, if you have one healthy happy child then you are extremely blessed and should celebrate that fact everyday with your child.

I find my motherhood experience is rewarding and inspiring without feeling stressed or drained. And knowing I'm only having one really makes me enjoy and cherish every moment.

So my only tip for raising an only child would be to completely immerse yourself in the wonderful journey (motherhood) that you're on. And tresure every moment.

.... Although I can totally understand why a woman would long for another, if you have one healthy happy child then you are extremely blessed and should celebrate that fact everyday with your child.

I find my motherhood experience is rewarding and inspiring without feeling stressed or drained. And knowing I'm only having one really makes me enjoy and cherish every moment. ....

That sums it up so well, CosmicMum!

Here here CosmicMum I agree with you.

We're lucky because it's what we wanted and chose but I do feel for parents (both men and women) who have had a only child family foisted upon them though circumtances outside of their control and wish for more children.

It can't be easy and I know a lot of people here have had a long journey to go on in coming to terms with the fact that they can't have more children for one reason or another.

One thing that everyone here has in common is that we all treasure the wonderfully rewarding experience of being a mother which I don't think for one second is diminished by having just one child.