has anyone stuck to 1 because of partners wishes?

[rabbit54]

We are sticking to one because my DP says absolutely no to another. I would love to have another DC. We have an easy life, space, and money to do so. My DP is a fantastic father. Our DS was not the easiest baby due to being early and a long bout of illness and so lack of sleep. However, our DS's personality is relaxed and now nearly two he is very well and great. So, has anyone else had to agree to one because the other partner does not want to? And how have the years faired after the decision?

I caved and tested early...BFN, not surprising really. Still not feeling quite right so you never know. Am preparing myself for AF to show up though. Just keeping my fingers crossed that she has got the message that she's not welcome.

Haven't read the entire thread, rabbit, but wanted to say i sympathise as i am in the same boat (sort of). DP was an only child and has never felt lonely or the need for a sibling as he and his parents have always been very very close. I am the youngest of three kids, however, and cannot see how NOT having siblings would be a good thing!

DD is almost 2 now and apart from the newborn/colic nights, has always been a very easy baby. However the lack of the sleep in the early days has put DP off ever having more and as he's an only child, cant see the benefit of having another for DD's sake.

I would love to have one last baby, but as i'm fast approaching 42, i dont see this happening and i suppose that as i have a DS of 19 years old, i should be thankful that i have had 2 children, albeit from different dads and at very different times in my life!

Well, I thought I would have some idea by now but nothing so far. Have had loads of cramps for about a week but AF is a no show so far. Keeping my fingers crossed!!

AF just showed up so it hasn't happened this month.
DH has taken a good few years but he said he can see how upset it makes me so is willing to try for number 2 now so fingers crossed

Hi Stuffedmk. So bad news, but some good. Was it your DH watching you go through the emotions of pregnancy testing that made him say yes?

Thanks for your message RGpargy.

I have not given up yet.

x

I don't know what triggered the change of mind, I can't say there isn't still a little reluctance there but the more we discuss things the better he gets.

Heh stuffedmk. See you next year as I presume this thread will go soon and I have to now concentrate on work stuff now before xmas. So, I will start a new thread in 2010 when I next have time to think about it and fingers crossed for you. x

I can sympathise with your position. I am 44, DH is 48 and is adamant he doesn't want another (we have DD who is 4). We live in a very family filled area, where 3 kids is the norm. I haven't met any other mums round here who have wanted another, but their partner hasn't. Some time ago I read up a lot about the 'pros and cons' of having an only child. It seemed to boil down to this; emotionally and developmentally there is no significant difference between having only one or having two children. I have a half brother, so I've lived the life of an only child a lot and it was ok. I just gravitated towards friends from huge families instead! My longing for another child is I suppose ultimately selfish - I feel like I want more of me to carry on in some way. My father died 18 months ago, and that does fuel the desire to have another child. My DH is unwavering, so I try to think of those friends I know who can't have children at all and try to appreciate what I have - a happy, bright little girl.

Heh stuffedmk haven't heard from you in while. My DP agreed to start trying....Unbelievable....and so we have just started trying to get pregnant in the last week so we have a long way to go yet, especially as i am nearly 41. Anyway, after my DP was pushed into saying yes by me, i thought he would go frigid, but no there is no stopping him. Int life strange.

That's great news rabbit. I had dd at 43 so there's hope yet. We would both dearly love to have another, but I really am too old now (tried that). Dh is going on 50 but I know would have another in a heartbeat if we could. Tell your dp it will keep him young

sorry haven't read all of the posts but i get so angry when people say 'don't only children get lonely?' i was the youngest of three and was the loneliest kid i knew. my sisters were very close in age and 4/5 years older than me so i was always too little to play with them and they'd buggered off by the time i was a teen and could have done with an older sister's input. i always felt the odd one out in the family and as the youngest my parents didn't want to let their baby go so i never got to do anything without them like fun activity holidays, where i could work out how to hang out with other kids, or have a [horror] BOYFRIEND - it was quite stifling. i think onlies are the best way forward - your parents can spend their time and give you space to make sure you get what you need to flourish.

one of my concerns about having one child is the way in which I will suffocate them with a great intensity of emotion and need from myself. This sounds like a similar experience to Omaoma's. You were treated like an only child. I have yet to meet an adult that was an only child and that promotes the experience.

meet my husband and best friend! wonderful man, only child. fantastical woman, only child.

what i agree with rabbit is the fact that any benefits/problems to do with childhood are entirely to do with how your parents treat you - nothing to do with the numbers of children they have.

sorry that should have read 'fantastic woman'

ok

Just thought I'd see if this thread got any further....better late than never heh? lol
So pleased for you rabbit....I had similar worries about DH bottling it when the time came but he has been fine lol.
I have had a bit of an up and down time to be honest. We tried for a few months and got lucky but at 10 weeks (4 weeks ago) I miscarried
Was really upset, not to mention that I was worried DH wouldn't want to try again. Luckily he is willing happy to try again.
Have just about got to a point where seeing pregnant women doesn't make me well up and am ready to try again.
Hope things go smoother for you.