the only child expression -dont like it

[HelenMeg]

Read on another thread here about the fact that it seems only to be in UK USA that children in 'one child families' are labelled an 'only child'.
I sometimes find myself, when people say, 'is he your only child' trying to justify myself only having one child, by saying ' Yes, I started late.. too old to have another etc etc.' Apparently, in other countries the 'only child' label doesnt exist. Similar to the fact that, in France, there is no word for 'bullying' as it is not something that they experience over there (heard that on Radio 4 today - explained by a French woman).
The more I think about it, the more I feel that the expression 'only child' has negative connotations about it - and I feel it should be banned!! JMO.

Thank you MadBad and sorry that you clearly recognise the type!

Hmm, well it is a type that makes its presence felt and is never backward about coming forward with its views! I'm now amusing myself by imagining other scenarios:

MBDK: My child knocked herself unconscious playing hockey today

(Sad): Well, she's never had anyone to play sports with, has she?

That sounds like fun, can I join in?

Me - My daughter has just been struck by lightning

(Slappable) - Of course she was, lightning is attracted to a lone object, if you'd had more children you could have prevented this.

Aha! My macabre one was going to be:

Me (weeping) - My 14 year old daughter was just knocked down by a car and has a broken leg

Slappable (smug) - Of course she was. She's always had you to hold her hand and isn't used to crossing the road on her own, is she?

Can I play too?

DD - My son has just fallen off the branch of a tree

Slappable - of course he has, he didn't have a sibling to act as a counterweight

hee hee, good ones

Me: OMG I am so proud, my daughter has just won the Nobel Peace Prize!!!!

Twit: Yes, I'm glad something nice has come out of all those lonely years in her bedroom reading books. It'll do no god though- advice about peace is a bit rich coming from those who have never had to rub along with others.

do no good sorry, bfing dc2 (who naturally is making everything better in our hitherto sad little lives) (except typing)

So glad you're still able to play contribute to this discussion, smallscreamcap. Hi, Daisy.

Me: My daughter has just been abducted by aliens, who beamed her aboard their spaceship.

Slappable: Naturally. If she had had a sibling and hadn't been such a weird deviation from the socially-expected norm, the aliens wouldn't have been interested in adding her to their collection of Earth life forms.

ha ha, I am enjoying these!

Me - My clever daughter just wrote her name for the first time all by herself!
Prat - Yes. Yes, she has to, doesn't she?

Me - My daughter just passed Grade 8 harp.

Dismissive - Well I suppose that, with nobody to play with, all those hours of solitary practice were always bound to pay off.

Bloody hate it and have a great sensativity towards it because I would like another child but it's just not 'appening!!

Completely agree that I don't think I would bat an eyelid if I didn't want anymore, but I do and I always say 'yes' when asked if DS is an only child or when people ask me at parties 'is he your only one' but feel I have to back it up with an explanation but only because I know I have a weakness (recurrant miscarriage) and feel I need to justify it. Which I know is bloody damn silly but I can't help it!

there is definitely the equivalent expression in Italian, with similar connotation. Don't think it's an anglosaxon thing. doesn't mean it's a good thing, though

My circle of friends either have no children or have one child so my perspective on having one child is heavily influenced by the company I keep - in which it is normal!!

I never feel I have to apologise or justify my family size.

People ask me if I have brothers and sisters and I reply "nope, I am an only child". I don't ever get a negative reaction. In fact people that experienced sibling rivalry always say "wow, I wish I was".

I think you are over reacting slightly

My dear dear friend has only one child (she too would have liked more) and she has an excellent come back to those who refer to her gorgeous dd as an only child or enquire 'are u having any more?' ........well you cant improve on perfection she says with a smug smile .

"We feel we got it right first time", said with a smug and condescending expression, can work if you're brave!

Very good Nickschick & Madbad made me smile

Kitchens - If ever you want to vent, grumble or let off steam - or just socialise with other mums-of-one - feel free to drop into the tea room. Some of us there have one child by choice, others by circumstance. We don't spend all our time bemoaning our lot (far from it) but we do know where you're coming from .... and there's usually some Bolly on offer.

Bolly ... in a tea room ... I'm there! Thanks Madbad I will pop in for a chat

Actually, tonight we are drinking mulled cider. Well, it is cold out there.