what do you say when people are asking you if your planning another?

[carriedababi]

and if you are not close to them and would rather not tell them?

we have one dd atm and haave talked abut haaving another, but we have always been very happy with one and planned to have just one

I say 'we worked out what causes it and put a stop to it'

LOL furball - closer to the truth here!!!

I say, if they come they come. People always look utterly aghast at that.

I am not having another one though. I just don't bother explaining it

Its your decision and its not something that you should have to justify to others. When I tell people that DH and I aren't having any more people automatically assume its because DD is a handful which could not be further from the truth! She is only 5 months old and is a lovely baby

The real reason is so financially we can provide well for her and every child is a blng and we consider ourselves very lucky with the little girl we have

am non-bio mum with my DP of DD who we have concluded is going to be an only - so our answer to this question is a very honest 'because we can't get any more sperm' - donor's new partner isn't keen and we can hardly make him...

I am still getting my head around it - I'm an only of an only, but DP is one of 6, so quite reinforcing about the downsides of siblings

This kind of question starts with "so, when are you two planning to get married" and just keeps changing according to your stage in life! It makes me mad too, as they don't know what's going on in your life and why you may or may not be planning another baby. Personally, I had a miscarriage in January, I already have a 2 and a half year old DD and would love another now, though this wasn't always the case. But luckily I've not been asked the "when are you planning another" question since my miscarriage, as I may be forced to tell the person exactly what happened, which would serve them absolutely right and may make them think twice in future!

I say 'its in God's hands' which has the double advantage of being my genuine conviction and shutting people up pretty quickly in case I try to convert them!
It is an immensely painful topic for me as we've been trying for no. 2 for a year now with one miscarriage along the way but that's not the kind of thing you want to explain to distant relatives, work colleagues or the checkout lady at the supermarket.

DH and I live in a 2-bed flat with DD 11 months and 2 small dogs, and my MIL keeps asking when we are having the next one!! I politely asked her if she was going to buy me the house to fit us all into.

If asked the question I usually just say "no" and if they say "yes you will" I just say "you never know!" and that usually keeps them happy.

This is getting me down at the moment and have really enjoyed reading all these posts. Thanks everyone for making me feel better. My MIL is the worst for this. She knows it took bloody ages to get pregnant with DD1. If she's not asking me about this, she is reminding me that I am nearly 40. Mind you, FIL is worse. He looks at my stomach whenever we see him (before he even makes eye contact)as if I am about to make a grand announcement

Its noones bloomin business....all the people that got on at me to have the one (not that i would change that for the world...where the fook are they now!!! Do any of them offer to babysit, give me a break urmmm NO!!! 4 weeks after I had given birth (very traumatic - ended up with EMCS - 5 days in hospital - horrible slow recovery and PND!) my biatch MIL says wait till you have the next one...I nearly slapped the witch with a poo filled nappy!! Where the heck is she now...in 3 years the biatch hasnt once had my DD - not that I would leave a pet fish with her! but thats besides the point!...Now when anyone ever asks me - when you having a little brother or sister for your DD...I tell them - when you committ to paying for her private nursery fees and the fee paying school I have just enrolled her in - which I have had no choice to do because I HAVE to work and need a school that will look after her until 6pm and provide a holiday club! BECAUSE SO CALLED FAMILY CERTAINLY ARENT THERE TO OFFER A HELPING HAND!!!

Sorry turned into my own rant - but this question donat half get on my nerves...I love my DD to bits and I love children - but one is enough for me... thank you!

I understand why people ask - mostly for small talk. I have one ds, had a miscarriage a couple of months ago (that I don't mention), and when I am asked about possibility of another baby, I say "we'll just have to see" or "I hope so", and change the subject. I obv want another, but if I don't get to have one, then I'm just extremely grateful for the child I've already got. Although personally I think everyone deserves a brother or sister.