Tea Room the Ninth: I love rock and roll, put another dime in the juke box baby

[MadBadandDangerousToKnow]

Welome to the ninth incarnation of the tea room. It's been a long and eventful road, from a tea room overlooking a cathedral garden to a beachside cafe, with a diversion via a yurt. Now - voila - we are in a music lounge. We cater for all tastes and, as this is a tea room of requirement, it manages simultaneously to be many things at once. For some, it is a 70s glam rock disco with a cool boho edge - glitter balls, smoke machine and much wearing of platform shoes and eyeliner. For others, a jazz bar where mellow music is played as cocktails are served. For still others, it's a concert performance of Spem In Allium. We still have a garden, with shady parasols for the summer, and a menagerie of pets. Our membership is international.

The tea room has few rules. Everyone is welcome. But anyone visiting with the sole intention of causing hurt or shouting abuse will be ejected by Mellors, the multi-talented gardener-handyman who (it turns out) is also a guitar wizard and rock god.

Please come in.

I was thinking that when DS is on the move I would wear the sling as a shawl, so lightening the effect. Can buy some purple shoes and a bag.

They don't do the dress anymore but this is the current closest. It's two layer, a jersey underslip and then the top layer is mesh with short sleeves, comes to mid calf and has black tapework. It's stretchy and skims over everything that it should, but yet emphasises what should be somehow.

I'll have strapping toddler to accesorise it - I wouldn't normally use a ring sling with him, but two shouldered slings aren't so attractive

Ohhhhh at your dress CMOT. If I didn't tell you I really liked what you were wearing in Anaheim when we met. I still when I think of it.

I found a lovely savoury recipe for zucchini bread. Has cheddar etc in. I substituted TexMex shredded cheese, added jalapenos and some onion as well as spices. The scent from my oven is making me drool!!
I am going to petition MN for a [drool] emoticon.

Amber, I hope your female ishoos get sorted soon. Having had MORE than my fair share (and few other people's shares) of them, I really sympathize.

That is a gorgeous dress. I too liked the outfit that Cmot was wearing in the Anaheim photos.

I do love that Anaheim dress - it was a bit of random shopping in Helsinki afte avoiding bankrupting myself in Marimekko

The cats keep appearing with mice this evening. I'm not entirely sure if it is the same one repeatedly, but DH has now refused to carry out his manly duties as remover of dead things

Ah, marimekko.

CmotMan needs to step up to the plate, methinks.

I love your dress cmot - it is a scrummy one!!!

Phase eight always have something a bit like that every season. I have never bought one myself but have seen many a woman try the 'that typeof dress' on and they look absolutely wonderfully jaw droppingly stunning on!!!

I find phase eight do look a bit blaaah on the hanger sometimes but once on the bod the cut of phase eight clothes is what makes them so very good. and they last ages. My (now getting rather old) graduation white shirt is still going very strong indeed! Their clothes are not very fashionable - rather they tend to be sylish. Someimes he balance is lost and occasionally they do have some things that look a little frumpy.

I am currently lusting after this outfit for work...

www.phase-eight.co.uk/

And me thinks the chanel style jacket would look fab with jeans, long beads and simple t-shirt on my trying to acknowledge there is such thing as fashion days.

Have you seen it in the flesh CMOT oh Queen of style? Is it cool chic stylish looking or slipping down the slippery slope of... frumptastic claims when on normal person i.e me...?

ttttttt - aiy aiy aiy - this bleeeerdy keyboard with sticky t key.... grrrrrrr

I will leave you to fill in the ts on my above post!!!!

Well, I think that dress is very chic. For anyone who has a discernible waist. Harrumph.

Oh I think it's very stylish too, but I could never wear it cos it would look like a sack on me, never having had a waist. Definitely needs a figure like that model, I feel.
For the Terry P admirers among you - I had a Magrat figure forever, until I hit 35 when it started plumping out a bit and has stayed plumped out - pg and bf gave me boobs but they are starting to diminish a bit now, although not back to the pea on an ironing board size, thankfully. So any non-waisted dress looks like a sack - took me ages to actually realise that and stop wearing long shift dresses

I do like that outfit, but feel that it might be hard to carry off on a normal shaped woman. Tweed is so inclined to frump, that it is tricky.

I have to go into nearcity today to get some accessories and a wedding present, so will try it on for the tearoom

I totally agree that P8 are never fashionable, but everything I have bought from them attracts compliments and keeps looking nice for a very long time.

anti-fashionable, in fact, and yet classically stylish.

I wish I had more clothes like that - I have one dress I bought back when I was about 21, that amazingly still fits and still looks ok decades later. Much better to spend your hard-earnt on clothes that can be worn year after year, especially if they cost a fair bit to start with.

wow - big post - oooooops

Do you think that she might feel that if you have travelled she will feel obliged to see you more and for longer than she might otherwise feel like ? Especially bringing Milk with you?

Perhaps, depending on flight/train prices, you could manage a day trip to literally pop in when the baby is tiny on your own, and then do more of a stay when baby is 8 weeks or so

Sneaks in for a cup of tea, hoping no-one has noticed her absence . How is everyone?

Welcome back, MaryBS. I too am gasping for a cup of tea so have made a fresh pot. We also have a stack of courgette and carrot muffins.

Tea - I suspect that your sister is in that pre-baby anxiety state in which she imagines that she won't be able to get out of the house for the first six months and that it will be too overwhelming to have visitors. (Or was that just me, all those years ago?) She may feel differently once the baby's here. From your perspective, of course, things look rather different and, in your shoes, I would feel the same as you. I think you just have to play it by ear. Perhaps you could ring soon after the birth (or will she ring you?) to see whether she needs any extra support around the house. If you make this about her need for help and an extra pair of hands, rather than your need to cuddle the baby (great though that is) it may enable her to see that a helpful visitor could be an asset rather than a problem.

(What nobody needs, of course, are visitors like my dear in-laws who expected me to wait on them hand and foot when heavily pregnant and then, after the birth, to interrupt BF so that I could fetch them a cup of tea. But that's another story).

Anyone else for tea and a muffin?

Hello MaryBS - lurrrvely to see you xxx Here - I have just made a new pot of tea so surely a second cup is in order and go on have a muffin too, surely??!!!???

Thanks for thoughts re sister and baby so far... very helpful and very comforting!!! Any more ideas and comments are very very welcome... I am in a bit of a tizz and you tearoom ladies are perfect de-tizzers!!!

MB - sympathy re in-laws... eeeeekkk poor you!!!

Am a bit unsure about courgette and carrot, but will try anything once!

3 weeks is a long time, but as has already been said, she might change her mind after the birth. In fact she may be gagging for adult company, so put the ball in her court, say if she changes her mind, you'll be there, but otherwise you respect her wishes.

ooh, tea - tricky one!

I think as it's her 1st she is being over-cautious - and she is probably wary of big girls like milk coming anywhere near her PFB. I know I was a bit wary of my sis bringing her 3 along to meet miniThumb, especially as they seemed to be constantly infected with something or other! THey met him when he was 3wo perforce, because it was Christmas; but my sis came over the night miniT was born and even went and fetched MIL (who was staying with us at the time) - this was at 3am!
If you are not close, it might be best to go along with her wishes - but if you and your sis are close, I think she will feel differently when the baby comes; she might even feel aggrieved that you weren't camping on her doorstep, gagging for a view of her PFB.
If it were me, I would be in the country asap (1st eurostar or whatever), without milk tbh, to see the new arrival - and then do a more formal visit a bit later, bringing milk as well, when the PFB'ness has worn off a bit! In other words, as soon as you know your DN is really on the way, hop on a train/plane/whatever and just be there in case. BUT just you (at first).
If cost is an issue, bit more tricky - ditto if you have work considerations - but I do know that tug of wanting to be there to greet the new one. I gave my DN her 1st ever feed because my sis was too horizontal, having had an emCS and being knackered. COuldn't have done that if I hadn't got to the hospital within an hour of DN being born.

Anyway, that's just my opinion - others will have their own.

"I think she will feel differently" - sorry, I meant I think she MIGHT feel differently - she might feel exactly the same! I know everything I thought beforehand changed as soon as I laid eyes on miniT, and my best mate who came to visit said I had changed amazingly as well.

Have just had a 'comfort' sandwich. Any suggestions for what I could follow it up with? Am feeling somewhat low today, and could do with cheering up

oh dear, Mary - something we can help you with?
In the meantime, have a lovely piece of homemade applepie and cream (if you like that sort of thing); or perhaps a chocolate muffin?

Home made apple pie and cream sound fab.

Just very sad for my lovely cuddly DS with his social problems - no friends, who is back at school. He was excited because he will see his "best friend", but best friend told me his mum told him to stay away from DS if DS got too rough. Knowing that he inherited Asperger's from me, also with few RL friends, and struggling to do something about it, either for him or for me.

Hot chocolate with whipped cream, marshmallows and a flake ?

How old is your DS ? A hobby that he might like if he is 8+ and that is very good for aspies is Warhammer (its a role playing game with little miniature figures that you paint, and then move around - v bad explanation). It appeals as there are definate rules to follow, a zillion bits of information to explain to others, but yet is played out together. Look for a Games Workshop shop as they run sessions in them.

Aw, Mary - that is rough. But at least your DS's BF's mum didn't tell him to stay away altogether, only if he's likely to get hurt - that's a good thing, isn't it? Does your DS get rough sometimes then?
Have some kind of acceptable pat on the shoulder/hug thing to help you feel better.

MiniT is going through a rough phase at the mo - he is 21mo and is really into slapping and kicking us at the mo, laughing his head off when he does it. I am trying hard not to lose my cool with him.