Tea room the Eighth - sun, sea, sangria, and perhaps a sandy Mellors

[DontCallMeBaby]

Greetings, welcome to the eighth incarnation of the tearoom.

The tearoom has been, and will be again, a virtual safe haven for anyone up for rather random chat and a comprehensive range of virtual snacks. Nothing in the tearoom will make you fat, or drunk (unless you want it to) or cause an allergic reaction.

The new tearoom location is a beautiful beachside cafe (no need for factor 50, the virtual sun will just lightly tan you, bring out your freckles or simply warm your skin, as you prefer) with a range of garden swings, hammocks, sunloungers, deckchairs etc (as well as a rather incongruous, but well-loved, chaise longue). For those in need of sanctuary, we have managed to fashion a new priesthole out of woven grasses.

Our fellow residents include Mellors the rugged gardener of few-but-well-chosen words, the naked mohawk babies, a coterie of bishops, various domestic pets, and a selection of others. On the human side, all are welcome - while we live in the One Child topic some regulars have more than one, and we are welcome all (except people who put their heads on one side and tell those of us with one child that it's just not fair to have only one child).

Please help yourself to a glass of Champagne and a canape on the way in ...

I don't remember RS's sad bassett tale ... I do have a second-hand one to pass on though. One of my tutors at university had a bassett. He was called something like Henry, I don't remember exactly. Only he was Henry III, Henry I having died of natural causes, but Henry II having walked out of a window. A second-floor window.

I wish I could remember the actual name - this professor used to call the dog (III, naturally, not his predecessors) in this wonderful farback accent, and call him a 'foolish dog' and such things.

My ear has gone manky, thanks to may attempting to get a wider than usual (glass) earring into it, a bit too persistently. I am now not letting DD have her ears pierced EVER. DH will be pleased.

Oooh - and just come and sympathise - I'm going to a family wedding (OK not direct family, and quite a complicated story but...) and I have just been told some of the guest list. Many of whom I listen to at 12.30 on a Saturday or at 6.30 on a weekday evening.... [panic] and I'll have to wear something that I've already got in the cupboard and I can't fit into anything and this will really make my determination to lose some weight gain a bit of pressure - need to lose enough to get back into some of my smarter clothes

Daisy, halfterm here is next week, the week commencing 25th, if it's a different week anywhere else, especially anywhere within striking distance of Gloucestershire, do let me know - I want to track down places that might be a bit quieter in OUR halfterm week!

Oh, I'd really love a Keep Calm And Carry On tea towel.

Mistle - Now I'm really intrigued. Are we talking R4? (Sorry, leading question. Feel free to ignore it). Anyway, when is the wedding? Would a pair of M&S cast iron pants help? I've, ahem, heard they're quite good.

Yes, half term here in the London Borough of Grunge is next week too.

Hong Kong Phooey sadly after my time.

MadBad - yes, R4... Not sure about pants - probably just push things out elsewhere - do they do overall body suits in similar material?

oh my MT, that will raise teh stakes a bit on teh speeches won;t it? can you run a sweepstake on how long teh speeches go on for... one of the best bits at family weddings IMHO. - the sweep, not the speeches.

remember if its ST you will be taller than her. ditto if its AP. JH? I've no idea, hes either really short or really tall, I can't decide.

I know that EI is one of the guests. And neither mother of the bride nor mother's sister (my MiL) know of that person. Or their dress sense.

(panic)!!!!!

Anyway - I'm not going to confirm any of the other names that dh has just listed - but yes, the speeches should be interesting!

MiL has hired a cottage where we will be staying with ds - not quite sure how it will all work out with ds, will wait and see, don't even know about timing at the moment. If necessary he'll just have to go to sleep on my lap....

I do love this talking in code. JH (the one I think you're thinking of) is of quite modest height. He pushed the button at a pelican crossing for me last week, so I had an opportunity to observe. Isn't that the most tenuous claim to fame you've ever heard? Anyway, does this mean that each speech will have had a team of 10 script writers, a la Week Ending?

As for cast iron pants, I have seen things which look more like knee-length wetsuits to hold everything in, but they look too scarey for me!

knee length pants!!!! can you imagine the horror if your skirt were to get blown up a la Monroe...
Also just where does it all go to? do you end up with chubby knees and elbows?
Mind you I did wear cycle shorts at one friends wedding party! there was a lot of dancing on one wheel going on. both sides of the marriage ride and their first dance was wheeled , and a lot of guests had bought their own unis along to dance too.

Exactly, UniS! Or just the for one's poor partner at the end of the evening, when one removes one's wedding finery and reveals ... knee length pants.

at a unicycle wedding.

oh UniS your wedding parties sound fun!

MadBad not a tenuous claim to fame. In our house who hits the pelican button is of significant importance I would wager that JH wasn't quicker on the draw than my DaisyBoy - but even his diminutive height may have beaten DaisyBoy!

Mistle go for very big pants - Gwynny P says she wears 2 pairs for red carpet occasions, so that should give you a clue and MJ will be your secret weapon - since having a babe I have loved all formal occasions - you have the ideal excuse to get up and walk out!!!

PS MAdBad I see that Racing thinks you're going to get the inherited wealth - I think it may be epee at dawn to protect my small marquis (when located)

Please, please do take some wine...

I believe that no assistance will be required for the speaches - in fact, based on who I believe might be there - they may not be written at all, but still might be extremely funny....

From what I've heard, one of the main speaches will be absolutely fine - but can't put any letters on as it'll be really too obvious...

Not quite sure who any of the people you've mentioned are (have I said I'm really bad at most names?)(and my O'levels (that dates me) had history at a lower level as I couldn't remember names or dates....) although I think one of the 'other' guests would have been in a publication that Amber would have liked to read....

Must go to bed now!

oooo it's all too eliptical for me, but very exciting! Mislte you should go cloak and dagger to the wedding - maybe a halloween theme?!

DCMB, I suspect half term is next week here too, I just hadn't realised!

just thought I'd pop in - am way too out of touch with R4 to have a single clue who you lot are talking about.

But I realise that MadBad is definitely older than me as I remember Hong Kong Phooey with great fondness - loved it!

Cristal darling, how veeery Footballer Wife-like!

bottoms up!

Hong Kong Fooey, Number 1 super guy - me love it tooey!

what was the little mouse called that was his side kick and wasn't he bernard cribbens or am I getting a bit confused?

something beginning with "P" - heck I'm going ot have to google and I am trying ot finish work and go to bed!

[thick emoticon] it was Penry but of course he was hong kong phooey before he changed in the filing cabinet....(slopes off to bed)

Truly my fave was Mr Ben

daisy, you so are getting confused - HKP had a cat (did it have a name?) as a sideckick. Dangermouse had Penfold the Hamster (at a guess that was his species)

I liked MrBen, The Clangers and Bagpuss. I suppose the real decider is who was doing Blue Peter - and what dog did they have?

Yes, I am extremely old. If you cut my leg off you would have to count the rings!

Daisy - You are welcome to your marquis. As I mentioned, I am searching through Debrett's in search of an earl of my own. After all, there is nothing to say that we can't both inherit wealth. On the other hand, if you insist on a duel, I will have Mellors on my side. I will insist that he wears a frilly white shirt, knee britches and boots, in manner of Ryan O'Neal as Barry Lyndon.

So, who'd like some organic apricot muesli and a hot chocolate?

I fancy the muesli with some greek yoghurt if that's oK - but I think I'll have a pineapple juice instead of the HC...

Sponsored walk rained off again today!

Hot chocolate please !

The 'bodyshapers' are very effective - they just squash the fat in. I have one pair of bra strap to above the knee Spanx for a pair of rather clingy trousers, and a body (a la 80's all in one), which stops dress clinging.

Hot chocolate, pineapple juice, museli and yogurt coming right up!

Cmot - I knew that you would know about the correct underwear to wear under clingy garments. I always think of you as the tea room's grooming and glamour correspondent.

Although, of course, in the tea room we are all svelte and elegant.

Madbad - just popping in to say thanks for the link on my thread (just in case you hadn't gone back, it got a bit hijacked by a bloke with an agenda unfortunately)