Tea room the Eighth - sun, sea, sangria, and perhaps a sandy Mellors

[DontCallMeBaby]

Greetings, welcome to the eighth incarnation of the tearoom.

The tearoom has been, and will be again, a virtual safe haven for anyone up for rather random chat and a comprehensive range of virtual snacks. Nothing in the tearoom will make you fat, or drunk (unless you want it to) or cause an allergic reaction.

The new tearoom location is a beautiful beachside cafe (no need for factor 50, the virtual sun will just lightly tan you, bring out your freckles or simply warm your skin, as you prefer) with a range of garden swings, hammocks, sunloungers, deckchairs etc (as well as a rather incongruous, but well-loved, chaise longue). For those in need of sanctuary, we have managed to fashion a new priesthole out of woven grasses.

Our fellow residents include Mellors the rugged gardener of few-but-well-chosen words, the naked mohawk babies, a coterie of bishops, various domestic pets, and a selection of others. On the human side, all are welcome - while we live in the One Child topic some regulars have more than one, and we are welcome all (except people who put their heads on one side and tell those of us with one child that it's just not fair to have only one child).

Please help yourself to a glass of Champagne and a canape on the way in ...

We're free on Sunday RS!

CMoT - any other means of transport back?

Is that really what she said, Racing? How extraordinary! You always sound Very Good Fun to me (especially when plotting your devious revenge on treacherous colleagues - how did it go, by the way?)

Would you like a Fun Cocktail? I'm getting quietly sloshed on pina coladas.

Nope. No idea what he is going to do.

RS- you'd be very welcome to come to DS's birthday party. Can't guarantee fun, but the national Hosta collection is nearby

Crikey, CMOT. Is he too late for a National Express coach? Here's hoping he can find an all-night branch of Boots to buy a toothbrush, so that he can check into a hotel.

Mr CMOT is up to something I fear... Does he have a red and yellow dressing gown?

Donk, We're off to visit teh sunshine home for retired donkeys tomorrow. AKA Sidmouth donky santuray. ANy old relations I should be sending ear strokes to? Meeting my parents in Sidmouth and Mum has never visited teh donk sanc but has read about it. Its free to vist but teh tea room is a bit expensive.

Then County show on Thursday, I've authorisd Boys absence from pre school. They thought he wouldn't be teh only one missing for that reason.

Can I enter teh tea rooms scones in teh devon cream tea compatition ? there's bound to be a class like that at teh show. Not sure teh lewd rolls will win any prizes tho.

He's not answering his phone again . Stupid thing is that he is down there again tomorrow, so should have just stayed in the first place

Oh CMOT, how annoying/hurtful/worrying for you. Have a Fun Cocktail. Put your feet up and take off the patent stilettos. Maybe Mellors could give you a foot rub (although perhaps best not if you still have the fishnets on.)

CMOTidder's party with the Mistles ... great! ... National Hosta Collection ... wowee! DH teaches horticulture, you see.

Thank you, MadBad, I'll have a Fun Cocktail - looks like we need them tonight. Did I miss a hint about Daisy's occupation? Is she not a minor royal, then?

I thought of things your DH might like. We even have an RHS national centre

Got hold of DH again. He is v v drunk. Serves him right as he will feel terrible in the morning as is without his CPAP machine, and thus will not get a lot of sleep tonight as he will spend most of it stopping breathing.

If Mellors is available for a footrub, that would be lovely

Don't go near the cream tea competition UniS - those women are tough. Just read the comments on the judging cards

Sadly (although not really, I s'pose) we are busy on Sunday otherwise we would pile into the car and join you for the Great Tea Room Meet-Up Featuring CMOTtiddler And A National Collection Of Hostas.

Well Daisy has previously told us that she is HM The Queen. I have some doubts about this, as HMQ's children are somewhat older than Daisyboy and yesterday Daisy was searching for a wealthy benefactor so that she could inherit some wealth which, frankly, even in a recession does not sound like a problem for HMQ. But you never know on the internet, do you? By the way, what happened to Daisy's marquis, under whom you were sitting earlier, Racing?

Good question re marquis. Turned out to have been a problem in translation and went haring off into the night, no doubt to seek sanctuary with bishops. Don't know how I will explain it to Daisy; marquises are few and far between here, although I could probably find her a marquee if needed.

CMOT, how thoughtful you appeared to be, thinking of my DH's needs and interests; then I was a bit concerned about the slightly sinister remark about CMOTBloke stopping breathing tonight. Does that mean that he will miss CMOTiddler's birthday and have a hangover and all-consuming guilt?

I have set up my massage table on the verandah. I heard you would like a foot massage, Cmot. Nice tights, by the way.

Ds adopts grandparents as we pottle round the park () does this count as 'searching for a wealthy benefactor?'

CMot - I hope that you have a peaceful evening and at least you won't have to deal with a drunk husband coming in at goodness knows what hour!

We'll be in the Lakes on Sunday - is that any good for you RS? we could do an interesting train ride or go by the sea or a lake or something....

DH has obstructive sleep apnoea, and stops breathing approx 86 times an hour if not connected to his machine whilst asleep. He has had it for years, and only been treated for a few of those, so not immediatly fatal by any means.

So DH will be tired, hungover, miss CMOTiddlers birthday morning/singing/presents (which I have just wrapped), and if he doesn't get a wiggle on, will miss the evening too. And then has an early flight on Thursday morning.

I cannot complain much about the lack of DH this week as I depart to JMs homeland next Wednesday, but I always let DH know where I am, and would never miss DS's birthday >

Ooh, just a bit more pressure there Mellors

Lakes sound lovely, Mistle - what a pity we live by the South Coast!

Have been very close to the Donkey Sactuary, UniS, just not actually gone in. We were at the Sidmouth folk festival. I agree, avoid the scones, far too dangerous. We will be doing the Bath and West shoe next week. I feel you can't have too many agricultural shows. DH feels you can.

Gute Nacht to all including JM, buenas noches to Catita in her absence. Night, all.

Cmot - I can see you becoming more relaxed by the moment. Would you like a shoulder rub too?

(I come from cake competition winning stock (WI competitions) - my grandmother - so, you never know, perhaps we could put some in after all. Alternatively there does appear to be a children's modelling class - perhaps we can get the children working together on a joint project?)

boy can model- "stroppy 3 yr old behaviour" very well. hes not bad at "cute boy playing at being a train" either.
or did you mean teh sticking bits of junk together type of modeling, at which boy is pants.

Good to see you all! racing I was most impressed you were under my Marguis I have had to tempt him away from the bishops, he was feeling a little shy - he is only a little poppet. I think he grew up with Anthea Turner on Blue Peter

Yes, racing I did confess my job that I was not the queen, just for you, a few days ago when you were very down... but so down you didn't read it

CMOT sorry, I should have logged on a while ago. I could have told you (and apologised on my colleagues behalf) that Mr CMOT was in teh pub having been persuaded that it made sense to stay, drink, stay up all night and go back to work tomorrow rather than travel home, see you, kiss his son good morning and happy birthday etc etc....

MadBad - glad you like my briefs. I can promise you, you are quite alone. Mine have nothing to recommend them. Put it this way, I am not good at separating the wash and I think Fishnets are a bit weh-hey.

Otherwise all is good here. I missed Squeaver. Rats. Am liking the Hotel California idea

Pass over the cocktails and bits. I shall avoid the umbrellas if you don't mind, they always go in my eye!

I am married to a champion cake maker, who has the certificates and prize money to prove it.

If there's a junk modelling project, MadBadBaby would be only too happy to take charge and boss the younger children about, insisting that they do it her way. Alternatively, she would be happy to take part in any catwalk show, having watched High School Musical far more often than is strictly good for her.

Junk modeling is also OK by MJ - as long as its a rocket or a boat...

Rats, I took too long to post!

My suggestion for shows is ECCO - good and quite smart and totally comfy

UniS I have country show envy!

Racing, I meant ot say, I suggest you try to think of different fun thing with Family - unless milking man is jsut unfriendly? I would love to spend the day with you

DaisyBoy has started staying "lovely time" and "thank you for lovely time" and "miss you" a lot whcih is very

Good to see you, Daisy. I think fishnets are just what you need with your formal work wear.

Have you and Unis had a Fun Cocktail yet?

and since you all know I am 85 I don't suppose it is new to you I remember
Peter Perves, Valerie Singleton, John Noakes
Petra, Patch and Shep

I am to know I missed the Petra memorial! And Percy Thrower and Fred (do you remember they painted an extra A on her back?!)

My poor Mum used to get tissues-as-carnations for mother's day every year