The Fourth and Only TeaRoom! Tea, Champagne and Muffins at all hours! Racing Pig get moving!

[daisy99divine]

A warm welcome to everyone, whether you have one child, none, or ten. This is a tea-and-muffin or booze-and-sofasorcanapees sanctuary for all. But certain standards of behaviour continue to apply - anyone engaging in fisticuffs will be ejected by George Clooney, ably assisted by Mellors the Gardener.

Cheers all!

Waggon - I like red - how about everyone else?

Garden furniture - I've found some National Trust Green or some rather fetching, not too bright blue... Any preferences?

Yes, I'd love a little something and a garlicy olive.

Phew! What a day! I really should be taking it easy at my time of life.

I'm sorry to hear of all the lingering afflictions and now Catita's DIY thumbectomy. Ouch! Hope everyone is better soon.

I am also a thorough townie and so am sentimentally (in slightly queasy way) about all these fluffy bunnies being killed by cats and dogs. The number of birds in our garden increased dramatically when our neighbours and their two cats moved away, so I don't believe the 4.8 kills per annum statistic either - maybe they included all those moggies like my SIL's who aren't allowed outside and so don't get the opportunity to kill anything?

Your stories about attitudes to the cold reminded me of a bus ride in Rome, when it was about 80 degrees outside and close to 100 in the bus. Someone opened the bus window, whereupon, out of their handbags, all the Roman matriarchs pulled cashmere scarves which they proceeded to wrap around their throats. Apparently, Roman folklore is that any moving air will give you a sore throat.

Did anyone open the champagne yet?

MT - Is that the Rosemary Verey blue? I do love it.

UniS - Did you say your errands tomorrow involved a garden centre or a gardener?

MB - yes, that blue. Its nice isn't it... . I thought that a few terracotta pots with some rosemary might look good alongside....

ooh, perhaps we could have several pots with different herbs in - rosemary, sage, lavender (ok i know it's not strictly a herb but still), lemon balm - that kind of thing.

DS still snuffly - shouldn't it be going by now? It doesn't seem to get worse or better day to day and it's so sad listening to him snuffling through feeding and having to unlatch to breathe!

If the champers is open, I'll have a wee one, please!

Rosemary- tyhme, lavender and various other nice smelling herbs on tehshopping list for you.
My errands involve a garden CENTRE - please- I will have boy with me . Also have to see a man about T-shirts, another man about a rig plan and one about a script. all rounded off by a cuppa with YET another chap. Final chap has a forklift truck in his barn... so boy will be happy and may well be allowed to pretend to drive it.
kast time we saw teh chap with teh rig plan boy and I got invited to go and look at planes... turned out to be an invite inside the repair hanger at local airport! amazing what happens when you show up at a business with cake and one small boy.

nigt all- dh already snoring gently. I'm off to joinhim.

Small glass of champage would be good after mop duty. And cheese straws sounded good. With extra cheese straw for RacingPig.

What kind of improving trip was it, MadBad?

Do you think biscuits and small girl might work in the future, Uni?

yes to red wagon and fancy blue green furniture as long as we have room for mugs of tea and NT cakes on the table I'm happy!

very keen on herb garden, can we have medicinal herbs like feverfew and cumfry?

yes, I cried in Bambi and Blue Peter and still can't think of Dumbo trying to reach his mum's trunk without welling up

UniS for shame rolling in the hay with Mellors, no wonder he hasn't done much work today!

Mistle, I know the "learn to walk on a dog" theory. That's how DaisyBoy learnt too

Racing sorry that WS is ill yet again - beware, Bocca was last seen with that mop turning her floor all sparkly

Amber, good luck tomorrow!

hugs/ waves/ pats to all others!

ohhhhh DAis-yyyy! ever since someone mentioned the bambi thing i have been trying not to think of Dumbo as that part has me in bits every single bloody time as well - and now you've gone and brought it aaallll baaackkk

oh thumb, what can I say, we belong together

it's when he finally reaches here and goes totally pink....and then is cradled in her trunk all blissful.....AHHHHHHGGGGHHH

I think while the European contingent is asleep I shall make headway on this champagne I see stashed behind the sofa. Noone will notice it missing in the morning...

Before I drift into an alcoholic induced haze I was wondering if anyone had news on Jacksmama and her op? I think my "thumbectomy" ( good one MadBad) is nothing in comparison.

Things that make me cry .... Lots more things since the advent of WS!

Last week at school I cried when showing the bit in The Prince of Egypt where Moses' mother puts him in the water in his little basket and sings a lullaby. (Lesson by video )

Also in our poetry lesson when I played this clip from Etre et Avoir of the children reciting poems. (?)

And when I heard on the news about the two-year old starved and beaten by her parents in England. Why kill a toddler? If you don't want it, why not just leave it in the nearest hospital/supermarket/park?

In fact, post baby, I seem to cry all the time! Luckily I have never seen Dumbo.

I used to work with a primary school teacher who would cry every time she read the class a story with a lost puppy in it. The five-year olds would just roll their eyes; "Mrs F is crying again."

Ooh, pancakes for breakfast!

Why IS Mellors sorting piles of hay into different sizes on the kitchen table and muttering about joining a Union?? Best not to ask, I guess .

Now dh is back in his own individual ward room, the other guests of the hospital ward will have less chance of at him forgetting that it's Not Done to sleep 'au naturel' in hospitals even if you're not feeling well and the clothes are scratchy .

Dogs and wildlife? Mrs C and Mrs A are too old and slow to catch a tortoise, let alone a rabbit, bless them, so the wildlife in the garden tends to hop about next to them in a couldn't-care-less sort of way. A friend took me to a dog rescue centre this week to see if it cheered me up a bit, which was nice of her, (they want another dog). It did cheer me up, and there's at least three dogs that clearly need a new home and we happen to have a garden several hundred ft long. Hmm... Good job this is an impractical moment to introduce a new one to the household, eh?

Hope everyone else has a good day today .

Amber xxxxxx for good news today. Look after yourself...

RS - those pancakes look good - are there any spare ones? I've brought some nice honey and a few lemons...

MiL put MJ to bed last night. When I came to lift him, he had the RIGHT number of blankets over him

Fingers crossed for Mr A.

for Mistle MIL actually listening! I suppose you have to think why she is doing what she is doing. Is she showing you that she knows everything better than you do or does she just adore MistleChick and want to cuddle/swaddle/smother him in blankets?

Aged Parent and I were talking this morning about needing and accepting help. It is always seen as so negative, yet people love to help, so that giving them the opportunity is doing them a favour. Interacting with other people, helping and being helped is part of what makes us human, what makes a community and a family. The first teacher I worked with (Mrs F who cries) used to give stickers to children who helped others but also the child who allowed himself to be helped.

This thought was prompted by my extreme graciousness in waiting until dh had gone to work before removing blankets, opening the curtains he had closed to help me and dd sleep after her night of sickness.

RS - don't get me wrong, I am very happy for her to help, and appreciate it when she does really helpful things and things that I've just not had time to do - its when she spends time doing things that either life's too short for or which I then have to redo anyway - or putting too many blankets on MJ.

Yes, she does love MJ and wants to give him lots of cuddles and snuggle up etc, but its really because she thinks that she is right not me!

Case in point - I took MJs breakfast away from him this morning - he'd had it for 5mins and just played with the spoon (not even got it to the bowl) and then said something nasty to me - which he repeated 4x as I was trying to ignore it. I gave him one last chance - which he ignored and thought was an opportunity to smile and look cute - so breakfast went out of reach. Cue tears from MJ and MiL looking at me as though I was mad. Once he'd calmed down, MJ appologised, got his breakfast back and ate it straight away. If we'd done it MiL's way he would have won, and would probably have been spoon fed by her. Similarly, last night he was really tired - so I was helping by sorting out an appropriate mouthful (of homemade pizza) and putting it on his fork - MiL tried to take over at one point, picking up the fork that I had already loaded - MJ also asked her to feed him when I already had the fork in my hand with a mouthful on it that he was studiously ignoring - I wasn't standing for that!!! I must say at this point, if she had been the one that had started helping, I wouldn't let him be contrary and change to me either... I think that the issue is that I already know that if you give him an inch he takes a mile - which is then his starting position for next time....

Thank you for the pancakes.

I wasn't saying that your MIL was probably right, Mistle; it just started me thinking about people 'helping'.

Re meal times - I have the same problem with dh. I give WS a small helping of perfectly good food (pasta, rice, meat and potatoes and veg etc), she climbs off her chair and goes to the fridge to get out cheese, saucisson or yogurt and dh then gives it to her! All fine foods, but not as an exclusive diet. And I have already said no. He also opens the drawer where the sweets are kept when she asks him to!!

argh, children and food!
We had some leftover shepherd's pie, so I put some in a bowl for DS with some peas. Woudl he eat it? Not a chance.
But that exact same shepherd's pie we had reheated for our dinner that evening, and he was begging for it off the plate and ate every scrounged bit with great gusto! Little git.

I tried last night to persuade him to go back to sleep in his cot after his feed - no chance. I left him wailing for a good half hour and all that achieved was to get him hot and sweaty and in need of a drink!

Don't worry RS, I didn't think you were. Yes, its great to be helped - and its really helpful - provided that they are doing things that are actually helpful rather than either doing something that you'll have to redo, or pandering to demands (which is always a bad idea!).

MJ has decided that he doesn't like filled pasta. AND he has discovered that he can be sick at will . So we had a great performance the other night when ds threw up on his plate - then we had to get spoonfulls of pasta sauce off our plates to put on his and give him a couple of oat cakes

(This isn't at MiL - just MJ.)

So, anyone got any good ideas to stop him doing this? I've suggested that he and I should make stuffed pasta ourselves (it is nicer too) and see if this gets over the problem - but dh is not convinced....

mistle - are you 100% sure he can be sick at will? My parents used to think that of me, when food I couldn't stand the texture of just bounced - notably castor oil (into Dad's hand ) and fried egg white (back onto the plate). My mum also used to think I could make myself faint at will - no chance! She had never fainted herself so didn't realise what a horrendous experience it was (especially the time I was trying to get to the loo and fell down 3 steps as I fainted ) but I did faint when under stress AND had recently banged my head.

So I am not saying you are not right, just that it is possible it is an involuntary reaction to a texture he doesn't get on with (I don't do slimy/oily - I nearly threw the only oyster I ever ate back up, it was an enormous effort of will to keep it down!)

Mistle, I think making it yourself is a great idea, although maybe leave it a couple of days after the sick-on-the-plate incident. Or do like Thumb does and have delicious filled pasta yourself and very plain stuff on his plate, without comment.

I have no great experience with older toddlers yet, but Aged Parent used to foster all sorts of children and I remember her reaction to the SOTP incident would have been "Oh dear, you poor little thing, you are obviously not at all well. You'd better get down and have your bath right now and we'll get you into bed. I'll bring you a nice plain slice of unbuttered toast so that your poor stomach doesn't get upset again." It used to be rather effective. Oatcakes would no doubt substitute for unbuttered toast if you feel that is too harsh. I seem to remember breakfast the next morning was rather plain too, so as not to upset delicate stomachs.

Her working plan was always to avoid confrontation wherever possible but ensure that undesired behaviour did not have the consequences that the child desired. Works well at school too, if I can control the environment enough.

She also allowed 3 foods that each child was allowed not to like, because everyone has likes and dislikes. That strikes me as reasonable. Mine were soft fried eggs, liver and tomatoes. Everything else we were expected to eat a little of.

Racing what very wise words about helping. I know I like to help and am very bad at allowing myself to be helped - it does take practice doesn't it!

MJ and Racing you are clearly much stricter parents than I am. I operate on the path of general least resistence/ best outcome so I often feed DaisyBoy or have him sitting on my lap at meals if he wants to- I am not sure just because I am bigger than him my way is always the right way...
but of course there have to be caveats like supportive parenting and Lines in the Sand - my main one for that is manners.

Maybe I am just hopeless and you would all thing DaisyBoy a hoodlum childee

Fingers crossed Mr Amber and second the question re JM - no news for a while, did the drugs get the better of her!

Good heavens - I am not the tiniest bit of a strict parent! WS has many meals sitting on my lap or even eating a bite, going off to play, eating another bite, doing a headstand ... I am just trying to introduce some tiny semblance of normal human behaviour, especially since we are hoping (fingers crossed) to go to Cannes this summer and stay in a hall of residence with communal meals where they may not appreciate a badly behaved brat spirited child.

As you say, manners are very important. WS is very good at please and thank you in two languages, as well as saying hello and goodbye (often more polite than the adults around her.)

Beetroot soup, how lovely! I've never tried it before.

RS!

MJ apparently keeps getting stickers at school 'for good table manners' - he certainly knows what they are, its just that he doesn't seem to want to put them into practice when we're having meals together (althugh MiL very pleased and complimentary about his table manners when she took him out to lunch yesterday - hope today, in posher restaurant/cafe also equally succesful - mind you, they have crayons and colouring and ham sandwiches, so what more could a young MJ require (Oh, sorry, hot chocolate, of course - and cake!)

I don't mind if he decides not to like something as long as he has tried it properly - but I really can't understnad on the filled pasta as he likes pasta (a lot) and is quite happy eating the things the filling is made out of...

RS - Sunday MiL was painting with MJ - she was talking about the colours and said 'shall we have some blue' - MJ said 'we call it bleu' (clearly the French lessons at school are having some effect )