Aargh! DH says choice of having more than one is up to me...

[LittleOneMum]

I'm really struggling today with what to do and am hoping for your pearls of wisdom.

I have one lovely DS - 16 months old. I found the first 6 months really hard but the last 10 months have been great and I love him very much.

DH is an only, and over the last couple of months we have been talking about having another baby. Maybe. I am in two minds about it and have been really struggling with deciding. In many ways I am happy with one and I am not too keen to go through the first few months again.

Then last night DH said 'Ultimately it is up to you. I am happy with one. I can see the benefits of one. I will also love number two if that's what you want to do. Ultimately I want what makes you happy' and although that sounds nice I'm now really struggling with having to make the decision on my own. How on earth do I decide???

I really do not intend to offend anyone who wants another but can't, or whose DH does not want another, so please accept apologies in advance if you are offended.

I think you are right Bocca - wanting to have a new baby I think, like all the important thing in life never comes from a thought in your brain. It always comes from the heart and soul.

Littleonemum - I suppose a good question to ask yourself is....

Where are you positive baby thoughts coming from - an irrational and deep desire or a rational calculated thought?

I'm not sure Bocca. I think that rationalising is human. I think if anyone thought too hard they probably wouldn't have more than one at all!x

That's what I was trying to say, Littleonemum.

Rationalising and weighing up the pros and cons are all part of the human condition. But, for me, alarm bells start ringing when (as I've seen on other threads) someone says something like 'I hated being pregnant and really don't want another child, but feel I should because of x or y'. That to me sounds like a recipe for pain and grief.

I think it's fine to take a confident leap into the unknown, but to take that leap against one's own better judgement seems very different.

Just an update (and thanks) I've decided to go for it...! Thanks to everyone for their comments...

Thanks for the update.

Good luck littleonemum!!!

Think long term - how many would you like to have in say 20 years time?

I went through this too, and probably am still going through it now. I have a DS who is 23 months old just now and had a MC only last month (wasn't meant to be), but still 'lazy' ttc. DH says he's fine with one child, but won't mind if we have more than one either. I know what you are going through, OP. I've decided that if I fall pregnant this year then it's meant to be, if not then I'll accept that DS is going to be an only child.