The One and Only TEA Room: Everyone Welcome (bring champagne and muffins please!)

[Jacksmama]

Wow, we're on our third thread!!!
Previous (second) incarnation of the tea room.

A warm welcome to everyone, whether you have one child, none, or ten. This is a tea-and-muffin or booze-and-sofasorcanapees sanctuary for all. But certain standards of behaviour continue to apply - anyone engaging in fisticuffs will be ejected by George Clooney, ably assisted by Mellors the Gardener.

Cheers all!

Just as no ingredients are allergenic in the tea room, no animals are antagonistic to each other (or allergenic for that matter). Actually, why the hell do I have this cold in the tea room? That's better.

Oh thanks. She's very good at reminding me of things I've forgotten. Glad your cold has gone whilst here, DontCallMeBaby .

Hmm, better check the tearoom internet computer to find out where Son is supposed to be tomorrow and Sunday for his sporting endeavours.

Bother. Lost post re parents wanting to adopted a 'failed' assistance dog and putting dog biscuit tin next to dvds...

Ah, Mrs C is definitely looking forward to a tea room full of biscuits, which presumably have no damaging calorific content or chocolate that is bad for small dogs, due to the magical nature of the place? She does tend to resemble a barrel otherwise, not least because of her tendency to nick Mrs A's food (that being our huge dog, who's best not kept in here on account of how it's like living in a tea room with an over-friendly bear and people would rather be drinking their tea than wearing it, I feel...)

Best go out and give Earl Grey a bit of a brush-down and a turn out in the garden.

Yes, a break of 24 hrs is definitely a break. And there's definitely boundaries to the tearoom and garden, so you can think about those. That must count.

Feet up?

Rev - can't you just count it as a holiday if you just come to the tearoom? Its very relaxing, some interesting (although not argumentative) conversations, some books to read, nice food...

I'd love to try that cake, it sounds delicious... although I might have used geraniums rather than petunias....

Amber - what does MrsC do? I am always impressed when I see assistance dogs. Mistledog just does a impressive line in side swipes - where she puts her hind quarters next to MJ and then leans (thereby knocking MJ over sometimes). We have suggested that she would be quite good at licking burglars to death, or knocking them sensless with her tail....

Oo, now it's posted it twice. Very odd. Oops.

Mrs C? She and I have an Arrangement whereby she more or less does as she likes as long as she reminds me when I'm supposed to be taking things off the cooker when they're cooked, and reminds me when it's time to wake people up in the morning, and generally gets my attention for phones etc if I get totally absorbed in something. Mostly she follows me around and gets made a fuss of by people, which gives me a chance to talk to them about dogs if I can't remember what else to say. . But she's not an Authorised Assistance Dog because no charity in the UK will insure them at the moment for adults (sigh). We're working on it.

Isn't it stupid all the red tape etc.

Very strange. They said "We dont have any funding to train the dogs" and I said "Well, she's already trained and I could pay for her to be trained further if you like", and since then there's just been silence, and the other charities all said "oooh no, doesn't fit with our criteria".

sigh

So, Guide Dogs for the Blind have more money than they know what to do with and hardly anyone wants a guide dog these days - so they can't so much as give them away (this I discovered by working for them for a while)...and there's 300,000 people on the autistic spectrum who could benefit from a dog, and not one of us can get one and take it with us to many places because not one charity wants to know. Oh well.

What are we going to grow up the trellis? Bit early yet for sweetpeas - but I think we'll definitely have to get Mellors to put some in later in the summer. What about a wisteria?

ooooo Justabout, sorry, hadn't realised who you were welcome welcome indeed and you are having a break by being in here

Bocca don't worry, this tea room is real. All else is fantasy.

It goes something like
How can I see
if there is a tree
in the quad

and it ends up being signed off by God

Anyway, all I can think of are lewd limericks like "there once was a man from Madrass" and so forth, no good at all

Would love MrsA to come to tea room, DaisyHound is Very Large and Bear Like to the extent that when DaisyBoy saw a picture of a grizzly bear the other day he said "Mummy, look, its DaisyHound" which only goes to show how Very Large much of the world must seem to the under 2s....

Hello, everyone. Nice to see that you are all here/not here really.

I used to love Northern Exposure, although I found it harder to get into the second time round, having got it through LoveFilm.

I agree, our tastes are often very similar. (Especially about banana and pichard sponge.)

Umm, lovely sponge Racing
Funny, I find Northern Exposure ever easier, I am only good for about 45 minutes of concentration nowadays, often a whole film is a bit much!

Right, just going to take advantage of the late afternoon sun, got DaisyBoy in waterproof suit going to look at that pond Mellors is working on. May taken Earl Gray for a little trot too. Anyone going to join us? We'll probably get a bonfire going too, knowing DaisyBoy and Mellors....

Guess what I've just found! There is actually another, smaller stable next to Earl Grey's (can't think how we didn't see it) and there is a little mare in there who will be perfect for the children. meet Lady Grey

MJ LOVES riding even though he doesn't often get a chance - and I am very pleased to say he demonstrates a natural, perfect posture when riding - lovely straight back, heels down, toes up....

Oh my! Two stables to muck out...and I'd better double-check the Happy Hoof supplies, too

Well, we can invite Mrs A round for a visit if people don't mind, but considering I'm a new guest people might think it's a bit cheeky to turn up with an entire menagerie...

Will certainly go for a stroll alongside Earl Gray if I may?

Amber - can you take MJ out on a leadrein while you're going please? I think MJ will stay on top - she does seem very calm - and he bounces if he falls anyway.

Most certainly will

Excellent

I'm not sure Lady Grey is going to need a bran mash {reflects that knowledge of horses confined to Third Year at Mallory Towers and A Pony for Jean so shuts up}

Let's go and find the others, I can see DaisyBoy, Mellors and DaisyHound there by the Haha, oh look, Mrs A is dashing off to join an and, glory be, waddling along behind is RacingPig seeking a little variety and having shifted his sweet furry bottom from the sofa!

Thanks for the warning about the haha - that saves me from disappearing from view and emerging somewhat covered in twigs and mud

Can Cmottiddler have a go on Lady Grey when MJ has finished ? He adores horses, and we spend a distressing amount of time pretending to be horses to feed this as nowhere around here does riding of any type until they are 4.

I obviously missed out today in my exciting day on the M6. My colleagues are all in Zurich, Manila or Cancun this week, and I get Manchester. And lets not forget Aberdeen on Monday

Hello Thumb - I have gluten issues, and enjoy the ability to eat everything (except things with pilchards in - boak) here in the tearoom.

Welcome Back Justa - you could always sell this as outreach work ?

Oh Amber and I thought you were "helping" Mellors again!

CMOT know what you mean about "pretending" with horses. DaisyBoy has a hobby horse that we spend a LOT of time riding, except that he mostly does it will singing "Brave Brave Sir Robin" cos DaisyDay is a bit of a Monty Python nut..

Heh ho, there is nothing more I can do but pop the champagne. In one of the great dominatrixions it will be sun over the yard arm by now....