The One and Only Tea Room: Tea, muffins and champagne served at all hours

[BoccaDellaNativita]

Well folks, here we are!

We were on the brink of filling the old thread so I thought we'd better start a new one now. There was a rumour that we were going to be evicted from our old premises, but we managed right at the last minute to get an extension on the lease. So it's business as usual. We're still in our charming old tea room, overlooking our beautiful garden complete with ha-ha and duck pond. And Mellors the gardener.

Please come and join us for a celebratory drink.

Large G&T coming up!

Would you like ice and a slice with that?

Have you got a Clarks sale shop near you? If the shoes suit (and fortunately they do suit BabyBocca) it may soothe your shoe-buying pain.

Baby shoes - bad. 4yo shoes Ouch ouch ouch ouch. I often don't pay as much for shoes for me. £76 for 2 pairs.

However, don't think we've ever had a pair of clarks - curently startright school shoes and geox for home. I like small non-outlet sales shops as they will properly size and try shoes for you and advise on best fit etc - and will test shoes even when you don't necessarily want to get a pair that day... Could have got a nice pair of non school shoes in the sale (50% off) today - but they didn't have the grip that his current ones do - so I decided that he would have needed a pair of trainers alongside for climbing and heavy duty walking/running - so we went for a pair of the same as he currently had in a bigger size. I suppose at least I don't have a daughter otherwise we'd need even more pairs of shoes!

G&T is very nice thankyou Bocca. Might have to have a second though... I see that Mellors has been quite busy today - quite a number of logs split (he does look rather good in that vest weilding an axe doesn't he) - and I've seen that he's actually done some tidying up of at least one of the borders in the garden. You never know, by the time the good weather comes, we may actually be able to get out there rather than abandoning it to the children and Mellors...

£76. Eeeek!

I agree about the fitting of shoes, which is why we go to the sale shop and not the outlet (if you see what I mean), as the sale shop does have assistants who can measure your feet and so on. Generally, I far prefer independent shops - I'd happily shop in Grace Brothers if I could - but when it comes to BabyBocca's shoes I'm looking to get 'proper' shoes at bargain prices. Best ever was a pair of Start Rite shoes for a tenner!

Have another G&T and don't worry about putting anything in the honesty box!

DCMB - do you live in the Forest ? We may be just up the M5 from you... DH's youngest nephew goes to school in Newent, which has prompted a lot of forest jokes as the other DN's are at school in Gloucester.

MT - I feel your pain - DS doesn't fit in Clarks or Startright, so we have to buy from independant shops and it hurts the pocket. Equally I'm glad that he only requires two pairs at a time.

Today we have been looking at trains. DS delighted to see how steam trains were made, and insisted on having his photo taken with some (which is the new thing as he has learnt to use the camera)

Am sadly contemplating having to actually do some work on Monday, and the fact that I have to go to Helsinki on Tuesday for a couple of days. When I've had a break from travelling it all seems much more annoying that if it just keeps going. Ho Hum. Pays the mortgage I suppose

Hello, everyone!

May need a large G&T myself as am perevering with the Resolution. Light cheerful comments to run away wrath. Even though there are waves of black wrath heading in my direction.

Was getting worried about the price of shoes when dd took the matter into her own hands and decided to wear nothing but wellies. I would love her to be comfortable in nice Startrites, cosy in fluffy slippers, etc, but she just screams, 'Off, off!' and pulls them off.

Sorry to interrupt, I don't come in here very often, but I am a member. Something really sad happened today and only a mum of one would understand.

It was DH's birthday yesterday and we went out for dinner with friends. I was a bit unsure about it to start with, since we only have one child and she's 13, so not a baby. I didn't want her left out, especially since it was a milestone birthday, but it was up to DH and that's what her wanted. He wasn't being insensitive to DD at all, so I'm not upset with him at all. We are all close enough to not worry about that.

Anyway DD stayed at my mums. She had a shit night. Nanny fell asleep at 7pm and pretty much stayed that way until morning. DD spent the evening basically on her own, MSNing, texting me and watching TV. I picked her up as quick as I could this morning and she's such a damn good kid, she never mentioned it to DH, but I was sobbing this morning. I felt totally shit that we'd not only left her out, but she had such a rubbish night.

What I'm trying to say, I think, is that its just one more thing that parents of 2 or more wouldn't understand. When DH and I, go out as a couple, DD is left out. Children with siblings have each other as company, but onlies don't. Oh bugger, I'm rambling! Just tell me you get it!

As you were, I'll bugger off again now!

Want to talk about the wrath ?

To be fair, I think I spent most of my young life in wellies. And my Dad is rarely to be found in anything else.

Oh, and Dad wasn't in that MSM. We should have done a virtual watching of it so that I could point out everyone I know though. Its even more fun than when we were skint students and various of my friends and the now DH used to do TV extra work for the historical stuff filmed in Wales. Anything requiring long haired men with swords, and they'd be in. The amount of hours we wasted watching welsh language TV to see them..

Who looks after CMOTTiddler when you go away?

Tea, how old is Milkfortwo? I had always imagined her as being about 8 months, but that doesn't fit in with her precocious reading or scissor weilding.

Oh Maureen, stay around ! If only to admire Mellors and have a glass of champers.

Your poor DD, what a rubbish night for her. Does she have a friend you could arrange a sleepover with in the future to avoid that sort of problem

CMOTiddler goes to nursery in the day as usual, and DH has to arrange his diary so that he is around at dropping off and picking up time. In 2.5 years we have only managed to mess this up once and it was my fault. Fortunatly, the PIL were around and filled in for the day, but can't be relied on

Thanks. Yes, I think she'll have to. I have told DH that she will never stay at my mums without her cousins again. Trouble is, she is friends with all our social gang that go out together, so sometimes all my available sleepover people are out with us!

I'm feeling really sorry for her tonight. It doesn't normally get to me, I've got over only having one, mostly, but even in Morrisons today, I bought 2 new pillows for me and DH and then had to go back for one for DD! If I had two kids, it wouldn't have bothered me, do you know what I mean? I felt like I was leaving her out, but had I had two, it wouldn't have felt so bad! I must stop thinking so much!

Maureen - Please don't bugger orff. Please stay. You're nor interrupting. You're getting involved, which is much better and very welcome.

Would you like a glass of champagne? Or a gin and tonic? they're very popular tonight.

Maureen I do understand what you're saying. I think you have to support your DH's decision but I would be upset if my DD (known here as BabyBocca) had had such a grim time. Hindsight is 20:20 vision they say, but next time could you arrange for DD to go to a friend's house or at least give her a nice DVD she could watch instead of the telly at nanny's? I don't think it's a bad thing to go out as a couple without your child - frankly, SignorBocca and I ought to do it more, as we seldom have any 'couple time' - but I agree that there is an 'only child' angle here, as it maybe takes a bit more thought and effort to ensure that an only child has an enjoyable evening as there is no sibling to be a ready-made companion. (Although, having said that, I can think of plenty of teenagers would would poke their eyes out with a stick rather than spend an evening with their sibling!)

racingsnake - I think I've perfected my G&T technique tonight so, please, have this.

Have a G&T, Maureen. You sound as if you need it! Can't think of anything helpful to say, but then dd is still very small. You say dd said nothing to dh; do you think it is upsetting you more than it is her? Maybe she could have something special when you go out - special dvd to watch, book to read, luxury chocolates, etc. Something generally out of the question to make her feel cherished and very grown up at spending the evening on her own (virtually).?

Wrath is a fairly usual state in our family dynamics, but am trying to work on it subtly and by stealth.

Oops, x-posted!

racingsnake - Milkfortwo is 2yrs 8months so you don't think she is genius child I best explain that her 'reading' is reading pictures and occasionally reciting a few words and she can only do fringing and ripping with scissors so far!!!

MMLove - does your daughter have a friend she can stay with when you go out? The best things in life when I was thirteen was another 13 year old, a daft film and equally daft food. I remember I had a few friends who would be invited to mine or me to theres to free up the other parents to do "Well booorin' aduwwwt stuff!"

Do you think we could shoot those blasted festive emoticons? They are really beginning to irritate me, hovering at my elbow.

theirs - sorry - I was a little distacted!!!

Cheers, everyone!

Yeah, she'll be fine, I'll be fine, we'll all be fine! She and DH are leaving me out now, watching naff SciFi stuff on TV, so it's all good really! Just ramblings of a mother of one..

Pretty sure I am slower than you, as I am usually typing with one hand at a funny angle, with WS asleep on the other. We do co-sleeping to the extent that WS very rately sleeps anywhere but with me, wherever I am.

Aww Maureen I'm sorry to hear that what happened to your DD last night has made you feel so rubbish and guilty. If you're anything like me you probably spend a large proportion of your time thinking what's nicest and best for your DD and you deserved to have a nice night out with your DH and friends and the fact that it's been overshadowed a bit and may put you off doing the same another time is a pity.

If I were you, next time I'd arrange for your DD to maybe stay with her cousins rather than her nan? Or maybe, if she's a sensible girl, arrange for her to have a friend over for a sleepover to yours and get her nan to come around to yours too? Or maybe get her nan around to yours and let your DD hire out a nice DVD or get her a book that she's been wanting to read for ages or let her give herself a little pampering evening with a nice bath and some nice chocolate/nibbles or something - that way she'd still have an enjoyable evening on her own even if her nan did fall asleep! Presumably you'd then be back later on...

I can appreciate that as parets of onlies we do spend time worrying about them not having company and i can totally relate to your guilty feelings last night but I think that is a part of the pressure that is put on us by others who would like to make us feel guilty or selfish for not giving them siblings.

The grass is not always greener you know. We have just taken my nephew home after staying with us for three days. It was lovely for my nephew and my DS (they're both 8 and there are only 4 months between them and they get on like a house on fire) but believe it not, the happiest person of all was my neice who got to have some time alone at home without her dreaded little brother being around to plague her - she said it was absolute bliss and wanted to know why we weren't keeping him for a week!! She would like to come and stay with me but wants my DS to go up to her house to stay so that she gets to stay at my house with me on her own!

No one is ever happy are they? But I do think that on balance onlies get the best of both worlds because they do get to mix and socialise with friends/siblig substitutes but then get to have lots of time and space on their own. My neice and nephew (aged 10 and 8 respectively and 2 years apart almost to the day) stand testimony to the fact that slblings can get heartily sick of one another. My neice spends most of her time saying to her little briother "get out of my face"!!!

I think we are almost at the point where she can stay at home with a mate tbh, which will be a whole lot easier. Its not helped by a pretty useless nanny tbh, but that's a whole other thread! She doesn't get much opportunity to stay with her cousins really, since we do our socialising with my brother and his wife!

Thanks for letting me ramble. I'll come again some day soon and I'll hopefully be less tired and feeling sorry for myself!

No problem Maureen, I hope it helped you to offload a little - and I hope you didn't mind your rambling giving me an excuse to ramble too!

If I spend time a bit more time in here you'll have to get used to my ramblings - you'll soon learn that rambling is something I'm pretty good at!!

...Oh, and not proof reading my posts too!! - my fingers work much faster than my brain!!