Please see your only child as a blessing

[Fizzfiend]

I have just been reading this topic for the first time and am a bit concerned that it seems most people are unhappy with their only child status. For a long time I felt the same way, but it was not to be...IVF failed a number of times and I just gave up the ghost after a while. For a long time I felt somehow inferior to my friends with more than one child...combined with guilt for not providing a sibling for dd, that was not a good place to be.

Now, however, I really can appreciate how brilliant an only child can be. DD and I are so incredibly close. We do loads of things together and sometimes break down in giggles together at some stupid thing or other. Her schoolfriends mostly tell her how lucky she is not to have an annoying brother/sister. We don't get any sibling rivalry/arguments and can go out for dinner pretty much anywhere. Trips away can be organised pretty easily, as can babysitters as people like hanging out with dd (who is nearly 9).

My sister and I are fostering the relationship between our only daughters so that one day hopefully they will have the familial support they might have got from siblings. Remember siblings DO NOT automatically get on because they are siblings. I know many people who have nothing to do with their brothers and sisters because they really do not like them.

One is not ideal..I am the first to admit that I would have liked another, but it was not to be so I thank mylucky stars that I was given this gorgeous, funny girl.

For anyone that is struggling with the only child, try and remember this. Plus: only children are the new black! I know at least 5 other onlys and they are increaing at a rate so it is not so unusual anymore.

I like being able to snuggle up with dd sometimes too. And I've already thought how I'd miss that if there was a second child around.

Reindeersnake - I agree completely with what you say about making a conscious decision to be content with what one has. It can be a real effort of will but is, I think, the best way to hang onto one's sanity.

Please do all drop into the www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=one_child_families&threadid=641608-Would-anyone-like-a-cup-of-te a-and-a-muffin&pg=37&go=go One and Only Tea Room]]. We have a plentiful supply of muffins, cakes and hot drinks (champagne and cocktails in the evenings) and will soon start rehearsing for the tea room nativity panto (starring Mellors as Prince Charming). Come and have a drink with us!

This should have been the link to The One and Only Tea Room.

I did take a peek at that link but it looks very 'established'.

Imaginaryfriend - Appearances can be deceptive! The tea room's only been open a month and nothing's established yet. It is quite busy some days and there's a lot of banter but we really do want others to come and join us. Please give it a try.

Imaginary friend - I popped in there a few weeks ago and seemed to fit right in - possibly reading through a few of the past pages might be helpful to 'get in the swing' of things, but once you've got into it, very easy to keep up! Very friendly, lots of appropriate drinks and inappropriate food...

It was more the length of the thread and trying to get my head around working out who everyone is. I feel quite lazy-brained in the evening!

Why not drop in and then ask for a quick resume? (Pronounced Rezoomay) We'd love to see you!

Hello Imaginaryfriend - do come and join us in the Tea Room
you don't really need to know anything, just have a fondness for muffins, Mellors (the lazy gardener) and champagne!

Ok, will drop in later when I've got a bit more time. A resume would be nice as would a flute of champagne. I might replace the gardener with George Clooney though if that's ok?

George Clooney? you don't need a resume dear girl! You'll fit right on in!!

Mellors does indeed look rather like Mr Clooney, especially when scrubbed up and wearing a dinner jacket for one of the regular nightly cocktail parties. But appearances can be deceptive and others may think (according to their taste) that he looks like Daniel Craig, Sean Bean or the dark, brooding one in Spooks.

A brief history of the One And Only Tea Room:

The tea room was founded as a sanctuary and safe haven away from the squabbling which was going on at the time over whether there should be a one child topic. Its main purpose is to provide somewhere calm to sit down, drink lovely drinks, scoff delicious cakes and generally chat. There is only one house rule, which is no fisticuffs. The following are optional but very much encouraged:

• wearing of modish hats or fascinators

• wearing of Mary Jane shoes

• bringing cocktail recipes to add to our evening repertoire

• sharing as much or as little as you wish about what led to you having an only child or about anything else going on in real life

• contributing things for the tea room Christmas craft sale

• choosing background music for the cocktail parties

• dancing under the glitter balls at our occasional tea room discos

Err, what have I forgotten?

I am truly grateful every day for my lovely boy - I had no problems in conceiving him,despite being 38 at the time but I can see how blessed I was in that respect and I will always think how lucky I was.

ok, ok, see you later

christMASbut - why not come and join us in the tea room?

thank you - I might well do that !

Tonight we are serving the poinsettia (cocktail of champagne, cointreau and cranberry). Come on over!