The mystery of the lost shoes and trousers and other having one child true stories!

[teafortwo]

On another thread a few of us got chatting about bringing up one child, and because we don?t know that many people who also have just one child, in rl, we thought it would be fun to set up joint diaries of what it is like to bring up one! Share our funny stories, worries, delights, over-sentimental navel-gazing and offer some support in our only child decision or circumstance!

In case you are wondering - The title of the thread is inspired by these sentences uttered by daisy99malign ! ?

?DH and DS had day together today and had a wonderful time - they lost shoes and trousers (some of each) and got wet and muddy and had a Top Boy Day.?

Then later?

?DH lost shoes and DS lost trousers
something to do with washing the car - but I don't really want to know!?

What do you think??? Shall we give it a go???

Hi Jacksmama - I'll post you back that bottle of wine - you clearly need it. Have a hug. When I meet people like your "friend" I always think how nice it must be to be so devoid of imagination and self-doubt that you can slag people off like that and pass it off as good advice. "I don't want to hurt your feelings" indeed. Well in that case shut up! Personnally I stopped reading ridiculous baby books when in the space of a few days I read one saying "you should leave your baby to cry because otherwise he will become a tyrant and cause the destruction of the universe (I may be exagerating) and another saying you should always pick your baby up when he cries or he will grow up with a sense of inferiority (and cause the destruction of the universe no doubt).

Totally agree with Madbad - if "friend" is so damn sure of herself how come she needs a woman with a bad hair cut to tell her how to raise her kids.

Oh boy do I feel better. (Sniffs.) (Especially after having a bit of that wine lottien so kindly posted back to me. Since the weather is pissy and horrible here it even arrived chilled!!
I wonder what teafortwo is doing on Sidi right now...
I think madbad should indeed write her own book!! I'd read it! And I do agree with the thoughtful comment that having one child means you can have a more loosely structured routine.
BTW, my "friend" phoned and said that "she had the impression she might have hurt my feelings with what she said". I said, "you did". Silence. Then she said "oh" and changed the subject, and quickly rang off. !!! Cow.
Must go have more of lottien's wine.

Good to know there are so many other accidental parents out there. Or rather, I presume, like us, deliberate parets who are being led by our (single) offspring along the road to parenting their way although I do occasionally try to wrest back control.

We became accidental co-sleepers when dd was 6 months (good decision; never looked back and agree about 3 in a bed) but trying to get the upper hand over mealtimes whn I realised dd;s main source of nutition seemed to be from croutons, chocolate buttons, beetrootand bottles of milk consumed on the run. (And guinea pig food, dog biscuits, carrots stolen from the rabbit, biscuits stolen from her grandmother and anything else she isn;t supposed to have.)

A lot of bottles of milk. She was weaned at 13 months in the hope this would help us produce dc2, but no luck.

Good book, if anyone wants alternative to thebookthatshouldneverbenamed is anything by Elizabeth Pantley. Her approach is 'whatever ou are doing is fine if it works for you, but if you want to change it, here are some ideas for humane, baby-friendly no-crying ways to change.

Haven't found any quick ideas for getting dd stting in her high chair spooning in risotto with the rest of us tho.

Hello all

I have found you!! A thread named after ME! well, My DS and DH anyway!! I am back on my usual name after short Haloween excitement...

just skimmed thread will read later but am at work
so, Jacksmama: found trousuers and shoes, dried, washed and tumbled all concerned (drew line at tumbling DS) but next time he saw the trousers he said "ooh, trousers get wet and come off!!!"

as to shower we too have evolved. When DS little I used to do it when he slept or lay on floor. When DS bigger I used to put him in bath with bath toys and no water (shower separate cubicle)

NOW... drum roll... he comes in too so my morning is like this - DS whips off all clothing and nappy and praces around in joyous buff. I shower. He stands outside until "stingy shampoo" is done. He comes in. We frolic. I turn shower down, get dried and dressed, he sits in "little shower" and has fun. He gets out, I dry him and dress him Indulgent, moi??

Squill is right re indulgence/ routine quotient with only 1 - if I had 2/3/4 I am pretty sure it would be different!!!

oh, yes, we co sleep too. Always have. Started because I did BF and DS was quite keen on the night feeds and I quickly adapted to sleeping sitting up, so he fed, went to sleep and that was that....

now he has a cot in our room goes to sleep and at some point (anywhere between 1am and 6am) stands up, calls and comes into our bed for rest of night....

he then sleeps to 8 or 8:30 so pretty top

Oh, Jacksmama, she's not a friend
she's a moo

LOL when you just said "yes you have" to the ridiculous "have I upset you" comment!
GO GIRL

Hi Daisy!!! I'm so glad you found us!! Especially since the thread is named after your boys' clothing!! I PMSL when you said you drew the line at tumbling DS... mine nearly climbed in the dryer this weekend, LOL.
Briefly back to the one-child theme (rather than just lovely chit-chat w/ friends) - I am really glad right now I only have the one. He's nearly nine months old and is in that separation-anxiety stage, when he does not want mummy out of his sight! It's a bit disconcerting to DH because when I hand him the l.o. so I can go wee, he cries (DS, not DH, LOL!!). So he comes with me to wee... can't harm him at this stage, I suppose. And as I wrote to a new mum on another thread, when he was tiny and was sleeping (attached to me - which would probably continue to horrify my cow of a "friend") I went to the loo with him still attached and sleeping. Easy to do while wearing yoga pants. Not so easy once back in jeans!
Election nerves are big here today (I live in Canada but of course we are very affected by what's happening in the U.S.) I think today may be a historic day in that I will be on Google News more than on mumsnet!! (I usually check threads I'm watching between patients... I'm ambarrassed to say I have lately kept a few of them waiting a few minutes because I needed to post something, LOL.

Ha, I tried to post last night, but was too tired or confused
don't worry about the anxiety/ separation thing it is both necessary and normal and passes quickly

For me and DS the best thing was always to explain what I was doing, where I was going and when I would be back (after lunch/ before bath etc) even if he was upset it made logical sense and when I did both go and come back when I said, he got happier

Re the loo - now aged 2 he still comes with me. At a restaurant last week he marched back into the room saying "Mummy's done a wee!"
and now he is tall enough to reach the lock

Ha, I tried to post last night, but was too tired or confused
don't worry about the anxiety/ separation thing it is both necessary and normal and passes quickly

For me and DS the best thing was always to explain what I was doing, where I was going and when I would be back (after lunch/ before bath etc) even if he was upset it made logical sense and when I did both go and come back when I said, he got happier

Re the loo - now aged 2 he still comes with me. At a restaurant last week he marched back into the room saying "Mummy's done a wee!"
and now he is tall enough to reach the lock

Good morning all!! Anybody else watch the election on TV until your eyeballs shrivelled up like we did?
We just turned our clocks back this past weekend and DS is NOT adjusted to that one hour... he woke up at 6:15, cheery as a little bird... we woke up feeling slightly less cheery .
Oh, choices for what to do today:

1. Clean house. Does that sound like fun to anyone? I might need lottien to post me some more wine from France to get through it.
2. Forget the cleaning and instead, leave everything where it is and make the mess in the kitchen a bit worse by trying new recipe for pear and walnut loaf (adapted from yummy pumpkin loaf recipe sent by a friend).
3. Brave horrible traffic into Vancouver (about 45 min if traffic good, lots longer if bad) to return a face serum that I spent way too much money on in the hope it would help my post-pregnancy skin. Trivial and shallow moan that I also posted elsewhere, where it got lost among much more important issues (sorry for being a vain and shallow cow): my skin was great whilst pregnant. In fact, it was never so nice before!! (Thank you, my lovely DS!) Then, when DS was 3 months old, it suddenly became oily, oily, oily, breakout-prone and I began to see fine lines where there were never any before!!! I look like the world's oldest teenager!! Is this normal after having a baby?? I'm in my late 30's and have had pretty good skin all my life. Any suggestions for products?? I know this is nowhere near earth-shattering but it's making me feel ugly.

Hi Jacksmama
not sure what you decided yesterday, but oh to be able to drive to Vancouver! That I would love!!

Re face serum, I am afraid I am a bit hopeless. I had many lines on face before DS, probably more since. I aim to make them laughter lines not frownies and slap nivea cream on skin when I remember

I also have a wonderful picture of Georgia O'Keefe aged 100 with a wonderful, wise, beatiful and very very lined face. I want to be her when I grow up

Wow, it's quiet here. We won't be lying when we tellteafortwo that she's missed nothing while sunning herself on Sidi. Nobody's in the cafe either... where are you all? Out drinking and dancing on tables again?

Hi JM
how lovely to find you here too

I almost didn't recognise you, that time off in Seattle is doing better than all the Serum in Vancouver

we have had a top weekend, lots of Puddle Running - a bit of a favourite our way, so guess what? DS ended up coming home with No Trousers and Socks on again

he is keen on the old undressing thing. This morning he was a Towel Parcel and lay like a Parcel on the bed, wrapped up in towel with only his head showing while I got dressed. It was very funny and he was very proud of himself

The reward? I carried him downstairs and dressed him on the sofa for him that was a big big treat strange child!

In my case, the main problem (alas) is age rather than post-pregnancy hormone levels. Offsetting that is the benefit of subcutaneous fat in plumping out the wrinkles. And moderately expensive moisturiser (although we're still not talking Creme de la Mer) when I feel less poor. Because I'm Worth It.

oh no, Bocca, a face care thread would leave me without anything to say, and while that might be reason enough for the thread, well, I would have to pelt you all with Nivea bottles and stuff

I think a post-pregnancy face care thread would be brilliant!!

So we are all tired from our fabulous holiday. We loved Tunisia (it is a rough diamond - beautiful, scruffy, magical and surprising) and Tunisia loved dd - seriously she was kissed and kissed wherever she went!!!

In Tunisia the old houses are infact made of what look to western eyes like many little houses, but infact, each 'little house' is a room and each of the rooms open out into a courtyard. The courtyard is a yard, diningroom, garden and hallway in one. The pension we stayed in was just like this. Every morning we sleepily fell into the courtyard to eat our breakfast and quietly relax under a clear blue sky while dd, covered in Said (Tunisian nutella), whizzed round the courtyard with the cleaner's son!

We spent time hanging out in our local cafe ( 87.98.222.182/0/29/64/39/23_-sidi-bou-sa_d___le_caf__des_nattes._1974.jpg ) where at night after the daytrippers had left we were adopted a bit by a few of the locals .

We also had a few walking afternoons simply meandering along beaches and we even checked out some ruins. Much to dds delight the interestingly restored ruins were free for all to climb on and run through so we did! It reminded me of being a child because my sister and I did the same thing on ruins near my familiy home that now have big "DO NOT TOUCH" signs attached to them.

We actually spent more time in the capital than we imagined we would. We busied ourselves with gasping at the subtle mosaics in the musee Bardo, wandering along this street and that and getting lost in the medina - truely a place so beautiful and very human that time seems to have just let it be. We took no pushchair so dd walked, was carried and rode on shoulders all around the place.

On the last day we bought dd some 'traditional style' shoes from a market seller to use as slippers. The stall was covered in many pretty shoes and the seller was very kind with dd. He explained that he loves children and how his wife had given birth to a child a year for the last three years and he was hoping for two more in the next two years! "She wants to stop at five" he explained. "But me... I want enough for a basketball team!"

Last night I whispered to dd as she drifted into dreams safely back in our little apartment "So did you like your holiday in Tunisia?" and she whispered back "Yessssssss". So I continued... "out of all the things you did in Tunisia... what was the best best thing?" She grinned "dd shoes" she answered with her eyes closed and she fell asleep with a perfect smile!

Welcome back, teafortwo.

Thanks Bocca - I love your teashop!

I am a bit of a radio addict and have stayed up late using the bbcs highly addictive listen again facility to catch up on last weeks progs. On the programme wittingly referred to in our household as Lesbians hour (because a reporter in the Observer called it that in a period of time when I couldn't function without it) Tracy Chapman sung this beautiful song about Motherhood... I thought some of you might like it too...

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wijqg5KD5tc

p.s - Is anyone else a bit afraid of an mn baby whisperer courtcase after Jacksmama's outburst!!!???!!! He he he!!!

TEA!!!!! Hi sweetie!!
Tunisia sounds wonderful!! I want to go!!

Nothing much happened while you were away... only the biggest election just about ever in the U.S., and a few minor skirmishes on several threads... I see you found the cafe, isn't it fab? One night there was quite a bit of bubbly going round, and probably some dancing on tables although no-one will admit to it . Oh, and there appears to be a dead body under the sofa... or, well, nearly dead, it's been four days and everyone's too scared to pull it out and see who it is, If I trip over its ankles one more time I'm going to do it myself. Personally I think it's a murdered mumsnetter, the one-child and multiple-kid threads were at each other's throats last week. I poked my head in once and the acrimony gave me a headache so I high-tailed it to the cafe for a restorative gin and tonic. How many I had of those I had last week I've lost count of... after the Baby-Whisperer rant DH thought it was a good idea to keep me slightly tipsy for a few days!! But seriously... if I hate TBW, she would probably hate me just as much... my laissez-faire, whatever-Jack-needs-at-the-mo approach would probably drive her to drink, LOL!
Forgot to tell you all the most adorable thing DS did two mornings ago in the hotel in Seattle. He awoke at 5 am (gahh!!!!) and started to babble and gently kick his legs and flail his arms. Then, when that produced no response from his parents' semi-comatose bodies, he sat up, giggled and shrieked for a few seconds, and then flopped forward with his face on my arm. Whereupon he proceeded to blow big wet raspberries on my biceps. At this point DH and I were both awake, silently quaking with laughter. DS then crawled up to my face, flopped forward again, and planted big wet open-mouth baby kisses on my eyes, saying "mmmmmmmmmmmmm". He alternated between this and the raspberries for about 20 minutes, after which he rooted around until he found the dairy bar, latched on, then got comfortably situated beside me (it continually amazes me how far a nipple will stretch) and blessedly fell asleep again... until 8:30 am, the darling!!

Gosh, forgot to tell you all something else... this may get me kicked off the one-child thread (it certainly scared DH who is adamant he only wants one child!!)...
I had the strangest dream night before last - I'm not sure exactly what I was dreaming, but I woke up in a panic, felt frantically around the bed, found Jack and DH, and leapt up, groping the bed and looking around, saying "where's the other baby????"
...............WTF??? WHAT other baby????.........
After several minutes of this I finally woke up completely, realized where I was, realized there is no other baby (!!!), and went back to bed, feeling exceedingly foolish and mystified.
Wonder what a Freudian analyst would make of this, as there are several good reasons to stop with DS -

1. DH only wants one
2. DS's birth was bloody awful, completely mismanaged to the point where they eventually had to yank him out with forceps AND I will be having surgery in Feb (unless sooner, please God) to repair the damage done by bloody cows MW and OB
3. If #2 happens, will have to have C/S because of aforementioned damage
4. my age... not getting any younger and couldn't TTC until at least 9 months after repair surgery, whenever that will be (please God, SOON )
5. would hate to be banned from the one-child topic because you all are lovely!!!

I think it only goes to show you how strange dreams can be... I once dreamed that my sister unexpectedly came to visit (now she's a completely different story - she and her exH are something out of a soap opera... I always thought the book by Douglas Coupland - who coined the term Generation X - called "All Families Are Psychotic" was about my family ), and she looked like the evil character Ursula in Disney's "The Little Mermaid"... which is even stranger because that's my wonderful and adored mum's name...
Anybody else have any interesting dreams lately?

Hi Te, the holiday sounds lovely, totally lovely! Glad you had such fun and wonderful that DD had a good time (and good shoes!)

I LOVE listen again, isn't it fab, I get addicted to Archers and Women's Hour - have you tried podcasts though, they are even better! Except I can't delete any of them

Jacksmama, story of kisses is lovely - but you are going to get us in trouble missus - first a court case from TBW then your sister and then Disney LOL though

Re the dreams, I know what you mean. I have had The Other Baby dream. But much the worst was in the few days after DS was born. I had one dream that (although he existed) I was told my pregnancy was a joke and there was no baby and one when I WAS DS and was blindly reaching for something...

Actually, this is not the sort of thing for this thread. I woke up screaming and SOBBING so loudly the MW came running (I was in hospital for a while post birth...)

Any other stories of DCs today? Mine has spent a lot of time pulling off his socks and using them to wipe the floor

"Look Mummy, DS wiping!!"

then I gave him a nappy wipe instead. Big mistake. He "wiped" his recent picture, managed to get felt tip on wipe and had it all over the cupboard door before I noticed.... [sigh]

Are "making fun of DH's weak stomach" stories allowed? DS had some raw apple and carrot last night, and as he has all of 6 teeth (well, four full ones and two that are working their way down), he obviously doesn't chew that well yet... hence, what comes out in his nappy tends to look a lot like what he swallowed! Which includes the occasional scrap of paper of cardboard if Mama's back was turned at the wrong moment. Soooo... fast forward to this morning's nappy which I asked DH to change... only to hear loud gagging sounds and a cry for help. DS had managed to squirm around so he was bottoms up - and said bottom was covered in poo with apple and carrotty-looking bits, and DH was holding him up by the ankles, eyes tightly squeezed shut and free hand over his mouth!! LOL. Poor man. He ran out once I'd taken over, and when I'd cleaned DS up, came out to find him deeply breathing the orange scent he'd just sprayed in the air to keep himself from being sick.

dd had her first proper afternoon at nursery today... she cried when she entered and I felt like a bad bad Mummy for choosing to work and leave her crying. When I went to pick her up she ran out, with a massive smile, hugged me, and in a half laugh half scream she explained "Oh Mummy, children, ball, nice laayydiiies!!!" One of the members of staff came out and on her camera showed me smiley pics of dd on a sit on car, another playing with placticine and lastly her playing with a big ball. "She has had a great time!" the nice laaaayyydiii explained.

I put dds coat on, took her picture myself to e-mail to my Mum and she skipped and sang songs from the sound of music all the way home in her blue fancy dress bonnet!