Help me decide!!

[Lilypie]

I have my beautiful DD who is 3.5 and my fab husband and we love our life, our house and jobs, in fact everything is lovely. We had pretty much decided to stay with one child but recently we've thrown the idea of having another baby into the melting pot to see what happens and I am SO CONFUSED!!!!!
I am self employed and very busy, I dont know if it would be fair to have another baby, I'm also loving that DD sleeps thru the night and we get good rest etc and the thought of starting it all over again fills me with dread. On the other hand I'm starting to feel quite broody and DD is asking about sisters / brothers / babies and I know she'd love to have a sibling. I would love to give her that gift. DH is very keen to go again. We live in Ireland where NO-ONE has only one child, so we are quite a novelty and people are quite confused by us. I'm really hoping to get some advice from someone whos been in my situation and made a decision one way or another, I'm completely head-wrecked thinking it all through!!!

when I said this:

on the flip side we won't be able to spoil them all and worry about how we'll fund them through uni/ buy them a car/ help with house deposits etc

which is what I see as some of the advantages of only having one child?

I also said this to the op:

its your choice and any child is a blessing - not an easy decision to make, good luck in whatever you decide

which, once again IMO, makes me less than smug but have obviously hit a nerve with you somewhere

Well, suggesting that parents of only children can "spoil" their child doesn't seem like an advantage to me. Especially as you started your post with a sniffy "my nephew is an only child, a spoiled child". Only kids aren't any more spoiled than kids with sibs.

I think though Mulan, that one should be optimistic enough to presume that one's children will have some sort of relationship as adults. That is more likely. If they're brought up in a loving environment it certainly is I think.

Whether you have one child or 5, it just seems a depressingly negative view; to say that a sibling isn't a 'gift'.

Sometimes it isn't right for the parents, and that's completely reasonable, nobody is forcing them to try for another, but I know hundreds of people with siblings, and I only one person who has such a bad relationship with her sister that they aren't friends.

and if we're being sniffy about it they're certainly more likely to have a decent relationship with their siblings if they actually have some

my nephew IS spoiled thats just a statement of fact. if he had siblings he wouldn't be as spoiled as he'd have to share the attention with his siblings - once again just a statement of fact

and I beg to differ that the children who I know who are only children ARE more spoiled than those with siblings as thay are privvy to their parents full attention/financial benifits etc - being spoiled is not the same as being a SPOILT child

I really seem to have annoyed you and trust me when I say it was not intentional but as you seem to be flying the flag for only children maybe you'd like to give you opinion for the OP instead of jumping down my throat for voicing my experiences?

i have 2 friends who are only children ( in their 30's) and both wish they had siblings, esp as one of them her dad died a few months ago and she had to deal with all the stuff by herself as well as try and sort out an emotional/upset/distraght mum

my friend get no peace and feels 100% guilty that she doesnt leave nearer and can do more for her mum

yes siblings do argue, but hopefully if your parents died, you would be mature enough to put aside your arguements and be there to support each other

Op - only you can decide

FFS Mulan!!!
Do you even care that you are upsetting people?
I hope you never have to lose a parent, you are heartless!!!

I lost my mum at 17 and my dad at 30.

Why so bitter then?
Actually, scrap that. I'm not bothered about your answer.

Mulanmum - so sorry about your loss.