Living life to the full - because we can!

[Catladyagain]

Hi all,

I'm in need of a bit of a hug.
And some inspiration and positivity!

A bit of background.
Early(just!) 40s and not quite feeling myself anymore. Not a weight or appearance thing, more a psychological thing. I just feel quite detached from myself. Finding conversations with everyone - friends, 7 year old son, really hard. I've never been an extrovert, wondered if I have some autistic traits (an empath but sometimes miss social cues), and just have noticed that some days feel like I'm just trying to get through them. I just feel like poor company most of the time when before I felt I was quite sunny & bringing a laugh or an interesting thought to things.
My son is a sensitive chap - had EBSA last winter (2024) and has got through it this year thank goodness but my apparent anxiety (manifesting through suddenly getting very stressed and not really holding it together very well at all, finding myself saying what's in my head without any filtering) and he's taking over 2.5 hours to fall asleep, waking suddenly soon as we leave the room. Anyway... that's a bit of background - thanks if you're still reading...! Christmas was non stop and we're all knackered. I am finding zero evening after work very hard.
I don't want to feel like I'm 'just getting through each day'. I want to plan interesting things with my son (my planning skills are hopeless these days) and learn together and feel that life is rich with possibilities. He's a MASSIVE homebody - seems to hate every club & is always whacked on returning from school. But he's very thoughtful, playful, musical, loves building all sorts with his Lego, loves his roller blading / pogo jumping / bike riding etc.
I want to be active with him and learn new things.

Can anyone give me a/ a hug and light at the end of the tunnel stories and b/ any inspo for making each day feel just a bit more delightful!?

Thank you so much xxxx

I have a 4 year old only. I'm literally at an airport hotel ready to fly home from Thailand after a month exploring this beautiful country. She has exceeded all my expectations by flinging herself into the culture and getting fully involved in all activities such as open water snorkelling, visiting islands on boats, temples and monks, night markets and visiting an elephant sanctuary as well as making friends at the beach. I don't think we could have done this trip away if she wasn't an only.

When we're at home one thing that she enjoys the challenge of is walks in nature. We're not far from the Peak District and do a range of walks, some with trig points and she adores the satisfaction of being successful. We also extend this to weekend camping trips to various locations (Spring time onwards) and it's usually not long before she's making friends with neighbouring tents. I've also arranged group camping trips with friends who have similar aged children, one time the campsite was only 5 mins from our house!!

I don't know if this is what you're after but it's just my experience so far with an only who is pushed a little out of her comfort zone but the positive impact as a result is really recognisable.

You sound like you have a similar character to me, and you sound stressed and tired! I'd go easy on yourself, do something relaxing that you enjoy, and then you can be more present for your son.

If you have any opportunity to take a day off or get childcare, perhaps you could do a fun activity for yourself, maybe something you haven't done in ages or have always wanted to do. I've been feeling down lately (hormones, illness, feeling I've failed in making friends with other school mums) but have had a really fun couple of hours at a local bowling / games place with my husband, laughing and taking the mick out of each other.

Then perhaps you could come up with something silly and novel to do with your son, like cooking a recipe inspired by one of his favourite books, trying a new bike trail, or just watching a film you loved as a kid together with popcorn.

Is it actually going to make you happy throwing yourself in to things? If you’re possibly autistic, your ds might be too and you probably both value some stability. Maybe your ‘living life to the full’ might look a bit tamer than other people’s? Maybe you could book in some nice things that you would both enjoy? For example go to a musical? The Lego centre in Birmingham? Have a weekend break in York or Oxford where he could find plenty to pique his interest. Every day being delightful is probably unrealistic but it’s nice to have things to look forward to, if you can afford it, book some things in that you can enjoy together and will break the monotony.