Feel like our family is not "complete" - will it pass?

[Alisonica]

We have one little guy, ten months. Despite all my rational knowledge that there is no such thing as a complete family as any group of people can be "complete" if they decide that they are, I have this very strong emotional sense that our family is not complete as it is and we should have another child. It's a massive emotional / hormonal pull and I find it odd as I never had much pull to be a mum before. We chose it more on rational grounds and discussed it all very carefully. I wasn't ever that broody. This is different! It's quite intense.

I have discussed with my husband and his view is that he could take it or leave it as goes a second child but that it maybe comes across a bit offensive to our son, as it seems like he isn't enough for me. But that isn't it at all. It is more about our family, which in my head is a separate question.

I am wondering if this will pass by if I just let it be, and whether it is even worth giving these feelings the time of day.

I think we all make decisions before we become parents that go out the window once you actually become a parent.

I think it depends how strong your reasons for only having one are? Feelings will pass but there’s nothing wrong with changing your mind. Siblings can be lovely together, so don’t worry about taking anything away from your DS. Mine are 4 and 2 and are starting to play together properly and their little relationship with each other makes my heart swell. Equally though, they also fight like little savages and it’s difficult to sometimes give both of them my individual attention. There’s pros and cons to sticking with one or having another. Only you know what’s going to be right for your family.

My only word of warning is that I decided to have a second when my DS was at peak adorable age of 10 months. He then turned into a little terror on turning 1 (by which point I was already pregnant again). So maybe wait a couple of months and see how you feel after his first birthday 😅

I was young having my son, I never really thought about having children.
but then once my son was here I needed to have another one once my son started school or in the near future.
my husband never did and now I’m still struggling with not having the family I thought I would have,
now my son is older Christmas is hard and all my friends have kids and their family’s over at Christmas,
It even got me thinking about when my son has children his child won’t have any aunts or uncles on his side.
Also I’m so greatful to have my sister, my mums unwell and we are always both there for her, I’d never manage on my own and we are so close now as adults. we are always there for each other, we didn’t really get on when we were around 11-20 but as grown adults we are best friends..
im just grieving for the future I thought my family would have had.

Your feelings can change over time. I was adamant after I had my first I wasn't having any more children. Now we are about to start TTC number 3 in the next few months. Doesn't mean the 2 kids I have already got aren't enough for me. You don't divide your love up between your kids so there is less to go round. You'll just grow to love another little person as much as you do your first