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Feeling guilty because DD (8) seems to be regularly sad about being on her own- how can I help?

3 replies

Enchanted82 · 07/06/2025 09:52

My husband and I very early decided one child was more than enough and never yearned for more. We found early years tough with both of us working full time and parenthood felt a real slog combined with feeling financially we weren’t in a strong enough place to have more.
i like to think we have a lovely balanced family life,she has parents who love each other, I do my best to ensure my daughter has friends over, play dates and extra curriculars to get to know other children. We also see both sets of grandparents as regularly as possible. as they both live far away, we see grandparents for a few days at a time. They will often come and stay st ours.

i see my daughter getting more and more upset every time its time to leave family or friends and then will tell us she wants doesn’t want them to go or she wants to live with her friend! I feel we are just not enough for her, she’s only happy in a busy full household even though we are very much there for her, engage with her and put her first.

I feel guilty because I wonder would she be like this if she had a sibling? Is this all my fault?
Am I trying too hard to fill her time that she doesn’t know how to just enjoy getting on with things on her own? She just hates quieter time at home for any length.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
HateThese4Leggedbeasts · 07/06/2025 13:55

My daughter can be a little like this and she has a sister!

Also it's not comparing apples with apples. Visiting people for a playdate or holidays is not the same and normally much more fun than a household during a working week with chores and school work. Comfort your daughter but don't feel guilty. She has a lovely life.

CornishDew · 18/06/2025 06:38

I think it could be something about this age and possibly their social development. My DD is 8 and we’ve been through similar about 6 months ago. She just didn’t want to be in the house and wanted to be where others could be - play park, soft play, seeing family/friends. It was relentless and as soon as we came in the house, she wanted to leave. It seems to have calmed down now and we’re back to our normal routine

stayathomer · 18/06/2025 06:44

Do you think you might hover or worry as you are leaving? I used to do this when leaving my sister’s just because I knew I wouldn’t see her for a while but the kids would be too upset so I think I put it on them. Three of you is your family and it sounds like you do well to get her play dates etc so I’d say just up the fun, family board games with the three of you, family movie night etc so it’s drummed into her the three of you fill the house and can have the fun and chaos she thinks ye are missing!

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