Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

One-child families

Got questions about only having one child? Find the answers here.

Rant Needed and Advice Greatly Appreciated!

2 replies

ThisMintWasp · 11/01/2025 21:17

This is a bit of a rant as been a long time coming, I know people have a lot worse situations, but this whole thing is really getting to me recently and I have no idea how to move forward with it, or am I in the wrong with how I feel, all critiques welcome!!

So lets start from the very beginning as bad as this will sound I never wanted children, obviously now I have my little girl I wouldn't change it for the world (bar the attitude!) but my daughter's father reassured me we would be okay and we would always do it together and no one would struggle, clearly had blindfold on for this one!

Anyway we broke up when she was about 3 months old, so I should have really thought about who I had a baby with but young and naive and trying to see the best in people, to avoid all the ins and outs, he basically won't keep down a job and jumps from one to the other and only goes with jobs under taxable amount, fine live however you want I guess.

But I am the one who has to pick up all the slack sorting out the childcare fees, most has come to £750, (I work full time) clothes, food ect you know the rest, he was claiming child benefit until midway last year as he claimed he was entitled to it and needed it more (she's now 3 😊) he has to pay a measly £75 a month for his daughter has he has her 104 nights of the year...

He has not woken up multiple times for drop offs, this morning was the worst when our daughter was crying asking why daddy didnt want to see her, I do drop offs to his house and end of stay he returns her to mine - would cost too much in taxis for him, its a walkable distance but I don't have the energy for the guilt trip of, 'I'm going through a rough time' and honestly I despise the man at this point, I have no idea what I am meant to do to make this situation better, we don't coparent as he is almost impossible to speak to, it always turns into a guilt trip and I know I shouldn't get this worked up about it but it is draining me.

I can't help feel like he doesn't deserve to see her but I know this would do more harm to her then good as she adores him but I can't help but think otherwise if anyone knows how to help move forward or what I can do it would be greatly appreciated please...

OP posts:
Sophiasmummy24210 · 12/01/2025 01:48

Why on earth are you letting him claim child benefit? Are you over the £60k a year? If not, contact them and tell them you are the primary carer. I am sure you can evidence that and it will be transferred to you as it should be.

LiceSoup · 12/01/2025 04:17

Is she safe when she is with him as he sounds dodgy as hell?
I would not tell her she's seeing him until he actually is at the last minute so you reduce her disappointment and swap child benefits to you. Get the child support collected by CMS. The rest is shit but it's the consequence of your choices. You just have to woman up and deal because it's not your girls fault she is real victim.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page