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Advice regarding HV

4 replies

C024 · 15/11/2024 22:11

Hello :) looking for advice long post ahead . Had my first Hv visit today and she asked me a lot of qs . One of them was about my support system and about my bd and his address . I said I wasn't with him and he has nothing to do with the child and she kept prying . It made me very uncomfortable and made me cry all day after her visit. She asked for his name and address like the other people and my main worry is that she would go there to his house and discuss me and what I have said and my little one . She asked when did I get pregnant to him and so on . She also asked about DV and I said no to having it with him and I said no but I did talk to a doctor about it before and she said what he was doing was . I never wanted to say this because she was quite intimidating and made me feel a bit upset . I felt like I was being questioned about a crime . Has anyone had this experience before ?. I'm just afraid sbe would report me to Sw in regards to how little I told her or about him himself. I have no contact with him and he's not involved he has asked and wants supervised visits and I said he hasn't been in contact because I didn't want questioned any further as I do t trust her and I didn't feel comfortable talking to her because she brought my past mental health into things as well from when I was 16 and tried to bring it into today's scenario and my capability to look after my little one . Any advice on this please 🙏

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 16/11/2024 06:29

It’s normal for the HV to want to know the name of the baby’s dad, whether he’s involved or not.
It’s normal to ask about DV as she needs to safeguard you and baby.
And it’s normal to ask about past MH so they can watch for PND.
If you don’t cooperate with the HV, it’s a red flag.

Imisscoffee2021 · 16/11/2024 06:39

Hey @C024 , I'm sure after the strain of having a baby without the fathers I vokvement you just want to be a unit with your baby but the HV is doing her job to safeguard the baby.

You know your situation and know your baby is safe but she will have had training in this and lots of other women might hide things that need to come into the light to safeguard their babies, like hiding or protecting a potentially not ideal father who is still involved bjt they dont eant HV to know etc. You know thats not the vase in your situation but she doesn't know that for sure and has to pry if needs be. Don't take it too personally, they're just keeping an eye on you both as PND can be an issue and they can provide additional support. Congratulations on your new baby :)

TinyMouseTheatre · 16/11/2024 06:43

I'm glad that you've started your own thread @C024 Flowers

Arthurrat · 21/11/2024 16:19

Oh don't worry this is all standard. She will definitely not be going away and talking to the father about you.
They just need to ensure everyone is safe and getting the fathers Information is part of that. Everyone gets asked about domestic violence.
Also post natal depression is common and past mental health is relevant to this. She needs to talk about it to ensure you are supported if needed. Anxiety is a symptom btw so she might have been picking up on this.

Relax you need to see the HV as a support not an enemy.
Congratulations on the baby, have they gained weight? I'm assuming you also had your baby weighed?

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