Do you get help with your kids or had when they were baby's?

[imjustamom]

Currently going through a situation where i don't get help from neither sides of my baby's family. they don't seem interested in creating a bond with the baby at all. anyone been through it? not complaining cause i know it's mine and the dads responsibility, but i don't remember the last time i've been 1 hour on my own, or when i had time alone with my partner. we look more like roommates than a proper couple which leads to arguments. haven't been in a date since i had my baby girl. It's being hard but in the end of the day i come to the conclusion that later in life when the baby is older enough to walk or speak they will want her. ( baby is 8 month old) but how is that fair going through the hard stuff alone and they having the "good" bit? I just want some opinions on it, don't attack me saying that it's my responsibility cause i know that im the one who had the baby. but i thought a proper family ( grandparents) would want to be more part of the baby's life. at least that's what i see from other people, and it makes me confused why is my baby different?

Nope. No help at all. Even their own father didn't help (I divorced him). But I was living a long way from family, so kind of my own doing, although my brother's kids were looked after constantly by my parents. I did have to listen to my parents moan and complain about being so tired and not being able to go away or do what they wanted because they were 'having to' look after my nieces and nephews though.

it's so unfair! especially doing everything alone with no help at all from you partner i'm sorry about it :(, i guess when the kids are older they can't take the credit for nothing as they haven't been there for you or the baby and they will definitely regret it. Your a super mom! all the love ❤️

I raised five. Single handed. They are all adult now and they are all VERY complimentary about how I managed to get them all to adulthood (they all have very good jobs too and earn more than I do!) Solidarity, you've got this.

We’ve had zero help from my side or my DH’s side.
In 20 years, I’ve had 1 evening of babysitting, which was given reluctantly.

We asked PIL 6 months in advance to look after them whilst we went to a wedding, they agreed then the night before my MIL said she’d changed her mind. I frantically arranged someone else to do it, and when my MIL heard we were still going, and I’d not let my best friend, she got in a massive strop and said she was doing it. At the time I didn’t have the energy to argue over it. However, this was the last time I ever asked them to babysit, 10 years ago.

AFAIAC I don’t owe anyone, anything, and I’ve been very clear to my DH that I won’t be helping with elderly care and my time will be for my DC and their families if they need support.

I think it’s very sad if they show no interest- different to help.
But the thing OP- your baby is very little, I don’t think even with good support it’s unusual not to have had a date with your husband by that point. It’s a small time in your life. It your partner steps up you can have time to yourself here and there.