Is he an only?

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My DS (8) has an older half brother, (26) from his father's side. Said brother already has a child himself. So my child is an uncle already.....but is my son classed as an only child as they do not live with us. They come and stay some times during holidays, so we don't really see them a lot. When people ask is he an only child....do I respond Yes?

If someone says 'is he an only child?' I'd say 'he's got a much older brother' or 'he's my only child but his dad has another one' or 'yes' if I thought it was easier or none of their business.

For me, it would matter if your son knows he has a brother. I wouldn't want to deny that for want of a better phrase but on the other hand not everyone needs to know your life story.

DD is the older sibling in this scenario 12 years older than her half sister her dad had.

I refer to her as an only as she only sees her dad once a week and her half sister, and she is my only child and has lived her life as an only. I might mention that she has a baby sister on her dad's side though.

No. You'd presumably respond he has an older brother? You could choose to say half or not.
It doesn't matter how old the kids are, they're still siblings?

But it's up to you how you describe it.

'is he an only child' sounds a bit rude. Surely you'd say, 'how many do you have/ does he have any siblings?' it seems a bit more polite. I always think 'only child' can have bad connotations.

I am one, and it's never really used as a positive trait by others.

Thank you for your responses. Savoycabbage ....yes that usually the way the conversation goes. But I feel like they look at my son and feel sorry for him for being an only, as there are no children in the house (as one friend said to me, and that he must be very lonely) Sorry I know it sounds daft, but I feel like his big brother never bothers with him.

No, he isn't an only child. An only child, is a child, who has no siblings. Your son has an older half-brother.

Singleandproud.....you seem to get what I am saying.

Yes of course he's an only child - he's the only child of his mother and father's relationship.

I'm in a similar situation - older siblings who became adults before I was born. Wouldn't consider myself anything other than an only child.

Might be different if they were closer in age and had spent their childhood together.

No. He has a brother.

I have an older half sister who I only saw every couple of months growing up and have occasional contact with now (birthday/Christmas messages) and I've always answered yes to the am I an only child question, even when I was younger. I didn't grow up with any siblings so I consider myself an only.

It depends who is asking and in what context.

If it's people you know well , or are going to see often, then you could mention the half brother.

Possible answers to being asked if he's an only child

'He's my only child '
'Not genetically'
'He's the only child at home'

Thank you for responses. It seems like those who have the same dynamics in the family as I described view themselves as an only.
It's not really about how I respond to people, I wrote it wrong. I don't care about them......it's about my son. Looks like he will be classed as an only even though he has a half sibling.

Not an only, but it’s a technicality. In reality he will be raised like an only with the advantages and disadvantages that brings as there are no other children, the other child is already an adult. But “legally”, for want of a better turn of phrase, not an Only child as they do have a sibling relation.

My daughter is an Only, and not only is she an Only child in our household, she is the only child on both sides of the wider family as she doesn’t have a single cousin/is the only grandchild and that’s not likely to change.

We don’t see it negatively- she is a very loved and happy child and we have the resources to give her wonderful opportunities. She has some other Only child friends too. It’s not particularly unusual in my circles. I am
not close to my brother, no issues but we have completely separate lives and DH is estranged from his siblings due to his mother.

'Classed as' by whom?

Who is asking your son if he's 'an only'? It's such a strange question.

I can understand someone saying to him 'have you got any brothers or sisters?' which is an easy enough question for him to navigate.

I’d say yes as 1) with that age gap and living without his sibling, he’s being raised as an only child essentially 2) the details are no-one else’s business - if it was, they’d already know.

Tbh, this sounds more like it’s about you feeling that an only child is a bad thing. It isn’t. And other people’s opinions don’t need to affect your reality.

I really think dropping the phrase an only might help.

So what if other people think he might be lonely.

Do you feel that your son is lonely or are you concerned that other people think he lonely?

We get this from time to time. The latest was we were waiting for a take-out and the lady asked where were DS's brothers & sisters? She said isn't he lonely? Bloody hell, what the hell business is it of hers? Needless to say we never went back which is a pity as the food was insane!!

Your child´s situation is exactly like my daughter´s. Ironically, her best friends are all onlies.

Yes, he has a brother but he’s functioning as an only child.

Quite.
Ive got one DD, I don’t think anyone has ever asked us about whether she has siblings.

Wow....they don't? That is a surprise to me.

I think people like to ask so they can make assumptions about his behaviour..... ' oh, he is not sharing his things....must be any only'. Another mum said he must be very lonely and bored at home. Cheek! I find comments like that hurtful because I make sure my child participates in activities/play dates more than she does with her child, (probably because he has so many siblings).

He has started wishing for a brother a lot recently. Breaks my heart, especially since I lost a pregnancy after him. Brings up a whole lot of hurt.

I remind him he has a big brother. His response but not living with us.

I don’t get asked if DD is an only either. Maybe you live somewhere where people are ruder more plain-spoken?

Ddakji, that made me laugh.

I think you are absolutely right, and was going to mention in my last post that I also think it may be the area I live in. We have a lot of large families, where is it more unusual to have an only child.