My relationship with the husband has always been so rocky. I've always tried to see the good in him, be the bigger and better partner and have given my ALL into this marriage. My DD came along when we were patching our relationship, and her arrival brought so much joy and stability into our lives. She was the missing ingredient all this time. But our relationship was still turbulent and we continuously rocked back and forth through the years. We drifted apart, outgrew each other and pretty much just staying for my daughter. Husband still is invested in the marriage but I've checked out mentally. My only motive in life is my daughter and being the best mum for her. She's a bubbly little girl who loves to play, eat and make friends. And it breaks my heart that she's alone, she's continuously asking me or her dad if we can play with her and I usually do my level best to get down to her level play with her and dive into her imaginary world. I love her more than I can describe and I don't want her to feel alone, because I myself grew up alone and it negatively affected my life (particularly because my parents were not involved with us emotionally too). My husband on the other hand can't do all the girly stuff she wants to do, and as much as I gently nudge him to get into it he's just not into it. It's bothering me so much that he can't connect with her in the way that she needs and he'll often get into a tantrum of his own when she has a meltdown which infuriates me. I often find myself trying to mediate the both of them and it shits me that he leaves the ugly, messy bits of regulating her all to me while he can just come and go from them. I'm constantly trying to develop myself as a parent reading books about child development, attachment theories, connections etc and he would rather just take the easy way out and buy her unnecessary toys to make her happy. Anyway, our intimate life as you can imagine has plunged majorly and I've realised that I may never actually have another child again. While I love and am so grateful that I at least have my daughter, it's an arrow to my heart when I see friends and family falling pregnant either accidentally or TTC. Whereas I'm over here with the burden of relationship issues... it's a bit messy and very complicated as the only glue that keeps us together is our daughter. He loves her SO much, this I don't doubt and he's not perfect (and neither am I) but I'm wedged between a relationship that's sucked the life out of me and the child who was a result of our union. I'm emotionally quite fragile at this present time, so please be kind and please don't suggest divorcing. That is not something I can do at this point in time.