Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

One-child families

Got questions about only having one child? Find the answers here.

New neighbours

2 replies

Eskimal · 16/07/2024 11:57

Our new neighbours are going to be a family from my youngest’s class at school. I have 3 kids (from 16 to 6 years old) so I am well aware how children mature and change. Their son is an only child.
the family are lovely and their son is very enthusiastic about playing and being involved. 100% 24/7 he doesn’t stop.
There have been issues at school where he has wanted to dominate friendship groups and either exclude my son entirely or have my son be his only friend. There are 3 or 4 boys who are in a friendship group and this child has to be in control of how he wants the dynamics to be. He is unable to go with the flow.
other parents have commented that it’s difficult to have my son and this child on the same play date. I am aware my son is part of the problem.
His older brothers are an influence and he knows how to wind people
up.
at school there have been plenty of instances of this child hitting my child out of frustration, pinning him to the floor etc. he has been in a lot of trouble as a result.
my child has not got in trouble at school - he wouldn’t hit but I am sure he may have wound up the other child, and this has gone unnoticed. I have said this to the teacher but she doesn’t think my son is the problem. I am sure he plays a part but I am not present at school to know.

i am concerned about a few things:
privacy when we are in our garden / want time to
chill out, throw a party
what the new neighbours can hear - my older children are teenagers and our household is busy
how much time my son is going to be expected to spend with our neighbour. And what will happen if another friend is over and he wants to come and play. I prefer 1on1 play dates and I always have done since my eldest kids were little.
the new neighbours have told us they are moving because they don’t like a certain ethic group who have moved into their surrounding roads. Our road is lovely and as neighbours we get in well and are tolerant of each other. They would find our road more peaceful (although we do like to throw a good party). I am really uncomfortable about the racism I have heard from these people.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Eviebeans · 16/07/2024 12:10

From experience I would say don’t offer or accept something once that you couldn’t live with forever eg if your child has someone to play don’t ask the neighbour to play because he may expect it every time regardless of who the visiting child is
equally don’t let your child call across the fence if the neighbour has someone over to play with them
don’t let yourself become default childcare for the neighbour- just because you live next door to each other it doesn’t mean the kids will get on

Yougetmoreofwhatyoufocuson · 20/07/2024 14:58

As above, start as you mean to go on. Be very firm from the off as it sounds like their child has no boundaries and probably they won’t either.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page