Wobble over our choice

[EnterNowhere]

Hi all,

Me and my partner are one and done. We have a healthy child who we have been very lucky with. We both work full time, our child is in a mixture of school and private nursery and will be starting Reception in September.

I always imagined I would have at least 2 children. My partner decided he did not want any more when our child was quite young and although it was a bit of shock at first, with time I grew to not only accept the decision but also decided I felt the same. Recently though I have started to wonder if not having another child is the right decision.

I imagine the doubts have now crept in due to her starting school, and also because of her class, there are now only 1 other child who is an only child. There are another 2 who were only children but their mums are now pregnant. It is probably also a bit of biological clock ticking as I am now late 30's.

Has anyone else had similar wobbles about this age and if so what did you decide to do.

[Caffeinequeen91]

I was in a similar situation. DH wanted to stop at 1. I wasn’t sure. I eventually made peace with it and enjoyed being one and done. Then we had DC2. A surprise! DC2 is lovely but it really changed DC1’s life. I’m sure there are benefits to being an only and being part of a sibling group. Neither is better or worse. But DC2’s life is different because DC2 has not been an easy baby or toddler.

[ronaerim98]

@EnterNowhere

Hi all,

Me and my partner are one and done. We have a healthy child who we have been very lucky with. We both work full time, our child is in a mixture of school and private nursery and will be starting Reception in September.

I always imagined I would have at least 2 children. My partner decided he did not want any more when our child was quite young and although it was a bit of shock at first, with time I grew to not only accept the decision but also decided I felt the same. Recently though I have started to wonder if not having another child is the right decision.

I imagine the doubts have now crept in due to her starting school, and also because of her class, there are now only 1 other child who is an only child. There are another 2 who were only children but their mums are now pregnant. It is probably also a bit of biological clock ticking as I am now late 30's.

Has anyone else had similar wobbles about this age and if so what did you decide to do.

@pixel speedrun, You're definitely not alone in experiencing these doubts. It's very common for parents, especially around the time their child starts school, to re-evaluate family size.

It's completely natural to have these "wobbles," especially with the social cues from your child's class. It's okay to grieve the idea of a bigger family you might have envisioned.

Open and honest communication is key. Explain your recent doubts and the reasons behind them. Listen carefully to your partner's perspective too. Perhaps they have anxieties about expanding the family you haven't considered.