So sad

[ludocris]

For years I thought we were OAD, mainly on my DH's side but I didn't feel a strong urge for a second.

Then we decided to try for a second. By now I'm in my early 40s. To my surprise we got pregnant. All seemed to be going well and I had a scan and saw the heartbeat at 7w4d.

Last night I went for another reassurance scan at what should have been 9w3d. Unfortunately they said the baby was measuring 8w and they couldn't see a heartbeat.

I wasn't expecting this at all. I was amazed I had got pregnant and though I tried to remain 'realistic' about the risks, seeing a heartbeat at the first scan and still feeling the symptoms I thought things were progressing fine.

I was so looking forward to telling my son that he was at last going to be a big brother. And so looking forward to having a new baby.

I don't think I want to try again now - I'd be 44 at the earliest giving birth and I feel like that's beyond the natural cut off for me. I think I'll be ok with this in the long term but for now I feel so very disappointed and flat.

Thanks for reading.

I’m so sorry.

I’m very sorry for your loss.

Have a hug op x

Sending hugs OP

so sorry - i had very similar - miscarriage at 43 - i would have tried again but had some practical problems (lost job/new job) which delayed it beyond hope; I have to say in retrospect i wish i'd ignored the practical concerns and just kept trying for at least another couple of years. More because i desperately wanted another child - also i feel like I'm being judged - like we're not a proper family (doesn't help that i live somewhere where everyone seems to have large families)..
That said DS doesn't care - he doesn't miss what he's never had and when i suggest inviting a friend say on holiday he's horrified

I was in the same boat once, one kid and then a missed period at around 44. I assumed it was peri menopause but I was alway 100% regular and had the same food cravings I had when I was pregnant. I couldn’t help having that little glimmer of excitement about maybe being pregnant, and announcing it to everyone, buying baby stuff, decorating a nursery, and getting to re live all the joy and planning of the first. It almost felt like I was having a second lease of life.
Of course nothing came of it, but I just wanted to say I understand the roller coaster of emotions and it’s tough being female.

Thanks for the comments. Yes @Happyinarcon that's exactly how I feel - for 5 weeks I had a new lease of life and after I had a first scan and saw the heartbeat, I allowed myself to start to think more about names etc and imagine the future baby. Planned how to tell different groups of people etc.. I just feel so disappointed and empty now.