Second one with a small gap?

[Californianlilac]

We’ve always said one and done but now I’ve had a baby, I feel like one more is a good idea. My partner has now said he would have another but with a small gap. Baby is 7 months! I was so happy with this but the practicalities of this has started to sink in. Who knows how long it would take but there’s a good chance of 2 under 2. Would this be the end of any bit of life we currently have - like going to restaurants or pubs or weekends away? How an earth would I get 2 children ready before work and drop them off where they need to be?

im so keen to have another but im scared. However, are these problems with any age gap I suppose? Help!

Go for it.

Nappies done in one go, close in age means that they can do activities together when they’re older. I have a gap of 2y and the younger child just slotted into place, as all the baby gates, buggies, weaning equipment, nappy changing stuff was already there.

You might find it easier moving this out of one child families, although I see there isn’t an obvious fit in other boards- maybe parenting? Most of us with one child families won’t be able to advise much about age gaps, for obvious reasons 🤣

Thank you! I hear such mixed things - like it’s hell on earth etc which I’m sure it is at some points but I think this is my partners logic, get it all done in one go rather than going back to it in a couple of years time when we’re almost 40. I hope they’ll play together which will take pressure off when older.

hahah yes there’s no where I can think of to put it but maybe a move of the post would be good - not sure how to do this.

If you do want to move it I think you just report your OP and ask MNHQ in the box if they can move it.

Mine are 14.5 months apart. Never known life without each other. Potty trained at the same time. In my experience I was more relaxed with number 2 and she was a very good baby in terms of sleep etc…

Colleagues children have the same age gap and by contrast they have had a really rough time of it and their eldest is now 4.

I do think you need to be mentally prepared as there will be tough times with a small age gap and all babies are different.

I'd go for it, and just mentally prepare yourself for a tough couple of years, knowing that it will be easier once they're both out of the baby/toddler stage. Mine are 2 years apart, it wasn't planned, but has been a real blessing. They entertain each other so well, and in the long run, if you're going to have a second anyway, the closer in age they are, the easier it is. Days out and holidays are easier because their needs and likes will be similar, and you get the hardest stage out the way in one go. If anything I wish I'd had mine a little closer together. Mine are 9&7 now, and life is easy and mostly stress free. Much easier than for friends I know with 4-5 year age gaps, as growing up they don't have much in common.

I got pregnant with DD when DS was 9 months old

It was bloody hard work for years juggling it all and working etc

My nephew and his wife have 2 very close in age. Currently, one in Yr1 and the other in Reception. They seem to manage fine and are ok with the children being in subsequent school years. Not everyone finds that to their liking. But if they - a very mad and quirky couple that I totally adore - can manage it, anyone can 😀

I should mention mine are 9&8 and academically 2 years apart.

I have four children and I've done it both ways. There's 18 months between my second and third and then three years between third and fourth child.

It all depends on the temperament of the baby. I personally found the bigger age gap better as my third child was a very high needs baby. He had silent reflux and would literally scream if I put him down . This lasted until he was one so was obviously very tough with a young toddler as well.

I also felt guilty as I felt like my second son got no attention as I was focused on the baby and he was really only a baby himself.

They are very good friends now and it was all worth it but in my experience 2 under 2 is very difficult and you need to be prepared for all eventualities.

Id aim for a two year age gap. Intense at first but really worth the pay off.

Anything younger would be extremely challenging. A friend of mine has a newborn and an 17 month old and is regretting it. As emotionally it is too tough on the older baby and physically she can't meet both their needs.