To consider a second? Large age gap

[Skunkinabox]

To have a second?

Bit of background...I'm 28, we have an 8 year old daughter already. Pregnancy was fine, birth etc etc.
No PND but my overall anxiety sky rocketed but I manage it.
We both work (partner full time & me flexible/part time).
We own our home
Low outgoings as we live below our means.
I'd have to give up work (planned to put money aside).

Me & partner are good, healthy relationship but partner has some minor struggles which he has councilling for and this helps alot.

What do we doooo. My life is perfect, well, my idea of heaven anyway.
We go travelling, days out, bike rides, I have the time to sit in silence in the evenings crocheting & knitting or just doing what the hell I want.

A second has been on my mind now and again. I cry alot over the fact my daughter is growing up and when we go on days out to the farm, park etc that she won't always want to do this with me and soon she'll been 'too cool' to hang out with her mom.

I just don't feel my days are over in regards to children. My partner said "go focus on yourself, get a career going, travel solo etc etc. But I want to spend my days with my family, going shopping, days out, taking my baby hiking, out on my bike, I LOVE doing the housework (yes I'm sad lol).

I feel my life is so perfect right now and I could take a huge risk and it not turn out like I have in my mind. My biggest anxiety anything medical cropping up. (I have hypothyroidism, mild I believe) and partners side have members with autism. I work with children/young people with autism (profound). Without sounding rude or insulting anyone but I don't believe I would cope if I was to have a child with any medical needs. This plays on my mind, maybe due to my anxiety and the fact I see what families go through and the unknown.

Just looking for someone's view or if anyone else has felt the same as me and how they decided to have more or stay as one and done.

I’m only OAD with a toddler but my perspective on your situation is that yes, your daughter might not always want to go to the farm or park but you will move into a new stage with her where she will need you just as much, even if she pushes you away, and it will be easier to be there for her if you don’t have a new baby/ toddler to take your focus away.

Also, she is coming to a great age where you can do more grown up things together- shopping trips, theatre, more interesting movies, play video games together, have meals out, do more active hobbies, you can foster her interests, you could take trips further afield with her on your own, she can actually be an active participant in baking and crafts, teach her how to knit and crochet if she’s interested and so much more. I’m actually really looking forward to the 8-11 stage even though I know it will come with pre teen hormones and I will no doubt miss my cuddly toddler!

Do not give up work if you are not married to your partner. That puts you in a very precarious position.

This is not my experience, but i have a good freind with a little sister with that age gap. She loves her sister and often talks about how nice it was to have a younger sister when she was old enough to 'look after' her. Now as adults they are very close and holiday together.
And my old neighbours had their second child with that kind of age gap, they were super happy with it, becuase they had the space to focus on both kids as individuals in a way that closer age siblings don't really get.
You are the mum, if you are ready to do it again, go for it!