I don't want anymore children

[fatpenguin10]

I have a DD who has just turned one. She is very sweet, sleeps so well and we love her so much. However, my DH and I feel that we don't want more children. My parents and my DH's parents have both expressed a bit of shock when we said, and my mum has made me feel like I'm a bit selfish/odd for not wanting more. All of our NCT group are already planning their second but the thought of another baby fills me with dread. This year has been hard, and I quite honestly think I still have some form of PND despite it being so long since she was born. I've had CBT and it has helped, but I still can't help but feel that my body and career have been ruined somewhat. I know this makes me sound like an awful shallow person, but perhaps I am - I just don't believe people should have a child so that their other child can have a sibling.

Financially things are tight due to all the cost of living rises, and I just can't imagine finding money to fund another child. I keep thinking if we only have one, we'll be able to provide for her financially and she'll get lots of attention etc. I suppose I'm just looking for any advice/reassurance from others.

I'm an only child and I have an only child. I had a wonderful childhood and I very much hope DD will too. I don't think there is any reason to worry about only having one.

I know siblings who have the most amazing relationships but also ones who aren't close, and even ones who can't stand each other - there's no guarantee!

You are making the right choice for you and your family so don't let other people's negativity get to you.

Your parents and in laws are a bit shocked because this decision used to be much more unusual, but it's becoming increasingly common. A generation ago your DD might have been the only "only" in her class but she definitely won't be now!

You don't sound awful and shallow at all. Your reasons are completely valid - and in fact any reason would have been fine, including "we just don't want to". Hold your head up high and own your decision!

I'm in a similar boat. We have one child, we love him a lot but there's no need to have any more. He's more than enough. Having kids is difficult and adding more of them means less 1-1 time with each. We can give our one child a better life, and we can be less stressed and stretched if we stop at one. It's a no-brainer, cultural norms aside.

I was one and done too! It's not that uncommon nowadays. Now have two step sons, but that's a whole other story!

None of your parents business how many kids you choose to have!

You will probably change yr mind? That's what everyone kept telling me.....dd is 8 now and I still feel happy that our family is complete! Do what feels right for your family and don't worry about what other people think you should do.

I spent half my life going on about how I planned to have 3 children. Life has not gone to plan for me in any shape or form, between violent men and going back to study late in life. I'm now a single mum of one child who is neurodiverse. I genuinely think I will stay a single mum of one child, more because I feel I need to focus all my energy on my child with additional needs, and because I have no support therefore no life and no chance to meet anyone. I am less upset about stopping at one than I thought I would be and I am very at peace with it. Yet people still say 'oh you may change your mind' etc. That annoys me to be honest, as anybody I know knows I have no life, so it would need to be an immaculate conception. Anyway, moral of the story is, if you're happy with one then that's all that matters. Try and ignore other people's words!