Why does this talk topic exist?

[GodessOfThunder]

Curious as to why there is a one child families board.

We have one child, and I can’t think of a single instance (apart from briefly inevitably once wondering “will they be lonely” - answer: no) when I’ve had a question, thought or concern related to having one child.

I suspect it’s due to whoever decides what the talk topics are on MN seeing having one child as non-normative and perhaps an “issue”.

Any thoughts?

Seriously? I feel like there is a lot of stigma and a lot of situations where one child families are different to those with children.

Clearly as there’s 28 pages of threads within this topic, lots of people do want to discuss having only one child.

It is an issue to a lot of (ill-informed) people. There are so many threads saying "I want another child because I don't want Child 1 to be an only."

Earlier today I read a thread with a woman worrying about her son's behaviour, and one of the first things she said was he might be spoiled because he's an only child.

Why is there a child free board 🤷‍♀️ i struggle to understand that more but if there is can't see why there shouldn't be this board

Both boards exist because they're topics people want to discuss and MN is OK with that.

Obviously people’s lived experiences are different, but I can’t think of a single instance in 11 years when I have felt any stigma, issue, difficulty, or noteworthy difference through having one child.

Are there any examples you have in mind?

Do you not think though that the existence of this board reflects a perception (and one which it’s participants might internalise), that having one child is somehow “lesser”, “an issue”, “a lack” etc? I suspect so.

Good for you! The constant comments about why you only have one, not feeling including in mums who have more than one, worries about child feeling lonely. Come on there are topics for a reason.

The same for larger families, child free people, black mumsnetters etc

are they all bad?

I don’t think a separate board indicates a group being somehow lesser, @GodessOfThunder - I think it reflects the fact that they may have different needs and topics that are important to them, and they want to discuss those with people who understand where they are coming from.

Can't say I've thought about it to that extent, but clearly it's an issue for some people.

I can’t think of a single instance in 11 years when I have felt any stigma, issue, difficulty, or noteworthy difference through having one child

Good for you. Obviously as you don't have a problem it doesn't exist.

There is also a board for large families. I assume they exist because people had specific issues related to these family types that they wanted to discuss.

As a parent of one child, it is nice to have a board where you are unlikely to encounter the tedious and offensive stereotyping about onlies that is liable to pop up elsewhere on MN.

I suspect it’s due to whoever decides what the talk topics are on MN seeing having one child as non-normative and perhaps an “issue”.

No more of an ‘issue’ than any of the many other MN boards. But given the sweeping generalisations* and prejudices people do feel able to throw about about only children sensitivity is understandable.

*Spoilt, don’t share, can’t take turns, selfish , precocious, lonely, and so on

Because it is an issue for some people and they want to discuss it? Having only one child can be hard for some people.

I'm really pleased that no one has ever told you that you are "selfish" for having one child (not sure if secondary infertility is a cause or effect of selfishness, though) or told you that you are not a "real mother" because you have one child (especially while you were going through the crushing disappointment of yet another unwanted period). But, you can leave this topic now. It's really not compulsory reading...

I find it super odd that there's a board for child free people, yet this is called MUMSnet and their tagline used to be 'by parents for parents', or something along those lines.

So all I can conclude is that it's a free for all, whereby any manner of things can be discussed, including one child families and child free people etc etc.

I find it super odd that there's a board for child free people, yet this is called MUMSnet and their tagline used to be 'by parents for parents', or something along those lines.

So all I can conclude is that it's a free for all, whereby any manner of things can be discussed, including one child families and child free people etc etc.

I find it super odd that there's a board for child free people

Don't click on it and pretend it doesn't exist, then.

Eh? I didn't say it bothered me, just that it's odd considering the title of the website 🤔

Are you saying that your experiences are the only possible experiences? That because you don’t feel you need a board no one else possibly could?
Maybe you need to consider other people’s wants and needs not just your own.

No. But they are defined by attributes rather than implied absences.

I guess I’m lucky enough not to encounter arseholes who ask “why not one”. Parents are quite old where we live (London) so lots of one child families.

Anyway, one child by choice, and anyone who asks silly questions of it can do one as far as I’m concerned.

Obvs child free is also defined by absence.

Why “only” that should be

Sure lots of things can be discussed. But the establishment of such a topic can encourage people to internalise one child as an issue, when it isn’t at all. If, say, there are issues getting pregnant, there’s the pregnancy/conception board.

But that’s the thing. It isn’t an issue for you. It’s an issue for my friend who wanted more than one child. I’m sorry but you can’t change a topic just because it doesn’t bother you.