@Dragonlady3 have you had any counselling?
could be a way to process where you are and come to terms with your feelings.
we had similar by but after nearly three years of trying and two years of treatment I was starting to tired of it.
as you say how much of your life it takes up, makes it hard to plan anything.
i started to regret that I was spending so much of DC1s younger years wishing for and mourning some thing we didn’t have rather than enjoying what we had.
and the cost. No funding for secondary infertility and after spending £30k that felt like enough.
is it any comfort to know some people long for and pursue a third?
i have a friend who had 3 kids after age 38, two via ivf who spent a while and some money trying for a fourth.
i think for many mothers the drive to have ‘just one more’ persists. You can acknowledge your feelings while also applying some calm long term thinking to it.
Donor eggs weren’t for me but I can understand going down that route.
another friend had her one and only with a donor egg at 43.
whats your take on why it isn’t working? If it’s age, donor eggs is much more likely to be successful.
worth looking at the stats.
i agree that the questions can be even more personal with secondary infertility. I was once asked at a work event (by a colleague with four kids) whether I would have another.
I said: ‘i hope so’
she said: ‘better hurry up!’
id had an early miscarriage that week and was still bleeding.