Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

One-child families

Got questions about only having one child? Find the answers here.

Secondary infertility - does it get easier to accept?

18 replies

Dragonlady3 · 03/04/2023 14:16

We have one DD age 5 from our first IVF cycle. For the last few years, we've been trying for a sibling and had many cycles of IVF, several losses and a lot of heartache. I want to be able to move on and enjoy life as a family of 3 but I'm really struggling and can't stop thinking about other options - which at this stage would be adoption or more IVF with donor eggs. I'm worried about the impact of a child with trauma/high needs on our family and I'm also not sure I could cope with more IVF and potential losses.
I suppose I would like to know, particularly from people with older only children who have had similar experiences, does it actually get easier? Does the longing for another ever go away or at least fade? We have no immediate family nearby so I worry about the future for DD.

OP posts:
Jellyfish7 · 04/04/2023 09:42

I’m watching this with interest as in exactly the same boat. Our dd has just turned 6 and has a lovely life, however I always thought we’d have 2 children. Sadly hasn’t happened despite several rounds of ivf and procedures. I just dropped her off at camp beaumont and followed a mum in with her son whilst she carried a newborn, the reminders are everywhere that she doesn’t have a sibling. I’m also part of a very small disfunctional family and my partner is an only (despite his mum being from a large family). I worry about our dd in the future as her cousins live the other end of the country so no closeness there and as time goes on my struggle to give her a sibling gets worse. Sorry I’m rambling, just plays on my mind a lot too. Hoping it gets easier as she gets older and eventually she’ll have her own family x

Dragonlady3 · 04/04/2023 16:01

Hi @Jellyfish7, that resonates so much. The reminders are everywhere. I'm looking at every family I see to see if there are siblings. Are you still in the process of trying at the moment? I'm hoping a break and trying to enjoy an IVF free life for a while might help. Have you had any counselling etc? I'm going to try.
DD has cousins but all live far away. We'll see them as much as we can but I don't know how close they will be as time goes on.

OP posts:
Jellyfish7 · 04/04/2023 16:18

Yes I do the same, I sometimes even think
oh great there’s another family with one and then a sibling appears! I feel like the odd one out. But then I have a couple of friends with one child and they’re totally fine with it which I struggle to understand as I’m finding it hard to accept. I’m still on the ivf treadmill which makes it worse and finding my daughter is really noticing the sibling thing. So hard to deal with as you feel guilty but I know I’m doing all I can. Hoping it does get easier as they get older.

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 04/04/2023 16:26

I can only speak from my own personal experience, but yes, absolutely - it gets much easier! To the extent that I would now choose to have only one child if I had my time again. There are so many positives to having an only child once you get past the initial grief for the family that you had always imagined.

My dd is 17 now. She is absolutely fabulous, we are very close and our family feels complete. She has never been lonely and has fantastic social skills.

I miscarried her only sibling and never managed to conceive again. It was tough at the time, but honestly, I am now absolutely convinced that it was for the best and I wouldn't change a thing.

It got much easier as dd got older and I could see how she was thriving as an only child. And people stopped constantly asking the dreaded question about when we were going to have another one!

I wish you both well on your journey, however things work out in the end!

MaybeBabyTwo · 04/04/2023 16:29

Thank you for posting this, we're still on the IVF roller coaster for no.2 (just had a failed FET). Hard to know when to stop (and to know if we'll KNOW when it's time). Wishing you well x

Dragonlady3 · 04/04/2023 16:43

@Jellyfish7 I have the same with some friends who are one and done and seem so at peace with it. I was ready for another when DD was 3 months old.

@MrsBennetsPoorNerves Thank you so much for posting this, it's so reassuring to know you found it easier over time. DD is a happy child and our family is full of love so I know we should be okay but I think I'm in the throes of grief at the moment after another loss and knowing we're probably at the end of our IVF road.

@MaybeBabyTwo It's so hard. We had an agreed end in mind which we've now come to. I can't stop thinking about trying DEIVF but I also think we need to start living and enjoy what we have. It's so difficult with the uncertainty of IVF, not being able to plan things like holidays etc in advance.

OP posts:
MaybeBabyTwo · 04/04/2023 20:14

I actually think there's something harder (for me, anyway) about secondary infertility and accepting that it might never happen. When we couldn't have kids and didn't have any already, there was always this beacon of childfree holidays and lots of money and freedom to do what we wanted etc. I knew i wanted a baby but I also knew we'd be really happy if we stayed as we were.
Now we have one, we do all the parent things, which is amazing and a massive blessing, but the gap of the second one is HUGE. You're also surrounded by other people's children and family layouts in every bit of the day whereas when I was childless I could mostly avoid this... I can't avoid nursery, soft play, friends...!
Which I guess is partially to say that infertility for the second time is brutal. And that perhaps it is helpful to find that 'beacon' of only child life, maybe through social media pages etc i know there are a few dedicated to having only children. Perhaps evidence that it can and will be okay and that maybe there are even benefits from having one, might help? I don't know, I'm not there yet. Sending you support.

Dragonlady3 · 04/04/2023 21:58

I totally agree about it being harder because you are immersed in the parenting world so always seeing babies, toddlers and large families everywhere. It's hard when you know what you are missing too.
I think we're different from you in that I was never really able to imagine a life without kids and I think we would definitely have pursued adoption if IVF didn't work for us.
You're right about finding the beacon though and there are certainly benefits. DD has always been an easy adaptable baby/child. Will sleep anywhere, great traveller and generally happy to just be with us whatever we're doing. Another DC could be totally different and we might not be able to do some of things we're starting to be able to enjoy like holidays, visiting friends etc. DD has also (as of yet) never shown any interest in having a sibling although I'm sure that will probably happen at some stage.
I've looked at some of those SM pages and found them harder to relate to, as a lot of people are OAD by choice. Which is completely valid and they are so lucky to know and have what they want. It's just so different from what I imagined and have wanted for so long.
In saying that, I was so happy and elated when DD was born, I swore if we couldn't have another that I would just always be grateful for what we had, try to never take it for granted and not go down a rabbit hole of endless IVF to have another. I need to get back to that mindset and feeling, but it's hard after suffering so much loss and disappointment. It's hard not to feel like the only way to fix it is another baby. But it's not true I know.

OP posts:
Melonportal · 04/04/2023 22:10

I always assumed I'd have two children and conceived my DS easily. When I couldn't get pregnant again I was devastated. I considered IVF and adoption but neither were right for me.

It has definitely got easier as I've got older. Now that he's 9, people don't seem to expect me to have another. When I was a bit younger, there was always that chance and every month was another crushing disappointment. As time has gone on, I've been able to move on and enjoy what I do have. I can see the benefits of only having one child now.

Dragonlady3 · 04/04/2023 22:18

That's really reassuring to hear @Melonportal, thank you. I feel like I really need to hear it gets easier. There's a lot of posts from women that still seem to be struggling years on.
There's absolutely no chance for us without IVF due to medical reasons which is really difficult in one sense because there's no hope of a surprise down the line. On the other hand, I guess it's a definite end rather than clinging to false hope.

OP posts:
Catsstillrock · 04/04/2023 22:40

@Dragonlady3 have you had any counselling?

could be a way to process where you are and come to terms with your feelings.

we had similar by but after nearly three years of trying and two years of treatment I was starting to tired of it.

as you say how much of your life it takes up, makes it hard to plan anything.

i started to regret that I was spending so much of DC1s younger years wishing for and mourning some thing we didn’t have rather than enjoying what we had.

and the cost. No funding for secondary infertility and after spending £30k that felt like enough.

is it any comfort to know some people long for and pursue a third?

i have a friend who had 3 kids after age 38, two via ivf who spent a while and some money trying for a fourth.

i think for many mothers the drive to have ‘just one more’ persists. You can acknowledge your feelings while also applying some calm long term thinking to it.

Donor eggs weren’t for me but I can understand going down that route.

another friend had her one and only with a donor egg at 43.

whats your take on why it isn’t working? If it’s age, donor eggs is much more likely to be successful.

worth looking at the stats.

i agree that the questions can be even more personal with secondary infertility. I was once asked at a work event (by a colleague with four kids) whether I would have another.

I said: ‘i hope so’

she said: ‘better hurry up!’

id had an early miscarriage that week and was still bleeding.

Saschka · 04/04/2023 22:46

Has DS aged 37, after 6 years of trying and multiple losses. Super high-risk pregnancy, pre-term birth, nearly lost him. Haven’t managed another conception, not suitable for IVF.

Definitely gets easier - hardest time for me was when I knew I was running out of time (aged 40-42). I’m now 44, accept that ship has sailed, and have come to terms with it. If I found myself pregnant I’d be elated, but realistically I know it isn’t going to happen now.

We have a happy life with 1, and DS definitely doesn’t give a shit he doesn’t have a sibling - loves being the centre of attention.

HipHipWhoRay · 04/04/2023 23:18

It definitely gets easier and I regret being sad in past, especially in that phase when your ‘one’ is between 3-6 years old, and you just see siblings everywhere and looking at other families all the time. I had my first easily at 36, assumed all would be ok for a second, left it a couple of years (what a fool!) and then I did unsuccessful IVF between 40-42. What made me stop IVF was a consultation when I was told the stats on a live birth at 42-43 was something like 2.5%, and I just knew it was an expensive lottery ticket. But, also the consultant pointed out that with DE upper age limit is 48 and so no immediate pressure to start. He said to go away and have 6-12 months off IVF and come back if I want DE. That six month pause was enough to get a bit of insight, realise DE weren’t for us and start to celebrate the family we have. I still felt sad each month for a bit but when I hit 44-45 and realised it wasn’t going to happen it felt clearer and easier.

My DC is now 9, we’re totally comfortable with it and really happy. I do actively focus on making sure she develops really good people skills, has confidence and tries new things etc, as she won’t have the easy sibling network to fall back on, or hide behind. She’s really happy with it, although cross she won’t be an auntie on her side.

Good luck, it really does get easier.

BergamotandLime · 04/04/2023 23:32

It gets easier. DD is nearly 10. I spent a long time where infertility consumed my mind and my thoughts and then I realised it was distracting me from what I actually had. We now make an effort to do things that wouldn't be so easy or affordable with more children and spend time together. We're all happier.

Dragonlady3 · 05/04/2023 08:02

Thank you all so much for these replies, it really is bringing me some reassurance that I won't feel like this forever.

@Catsstillrock I have had counselling but more for the trauma of some of what we've went through. Won't go into details but it's been horrendous. I am going to go back to try and process where we are now. I'm lucky to have not been asked too much about having another, but if I was asked, I think I would be honest (to an extent).

@HipHipWhoRay That's sort of where we are now. We've been in the IVF world a long time and I've just miscarried our last frozen embryo. I think I'm too old now to try another fresh round. The genetic aspect of DE doesn't bother me much, I'm confident I could get over it. It's more that I know it still isn't any guarantee and putting ourselves through more physical, emotional and financial stress and potentially more losses is scary. I'm definitely taking at least a six month break and going to try and fully embrace life as it is and the advantages that come with it.

OP posts:
Jellyfish7 · 05/04/2023 15:12

@Dragonlady3 I wish all the best. Your post and the replies have also helped me as sounds like we’re in similar situations; right now I’m in the thick of it but also getting to the stage of needing to accept and move on. Thank you for all your replies everyone.

Dragonlady3 · 05/04/2023 16:10

You too @Jellyfish7, I really hope the IVF works out for you and if not, I hope you (and me) can find some peace and move on. Infertility is the cruelest thing I've ever experienced but we have our little miracles and that's no small thing.

OP posts:
OneFlipflopleft · 01/05/2023 09:37

A little late maybe this reply, but I still want to share a book with you which helped me, and a friend I gave the book to, a great deal with getting over the longing for a second. It boosts your confidence and gives you an overall happier feeling with your situation. Hope it does this for you too:

Patricia Nachman
You and Your Only Child: The Joys, Myths, and Challenges of Raising an Only Child

It is a little bit outdated sometimes, when about childcare facilities etc. But the studies and outcome stay the same.
It left me feeling I am doing my only dd a big favor😄

Amazon.es

https://www.amazon.es/s/ref=dp_byline_sr_book_1?ie=UTF8&field-author=Patricia+Nachman&search-alias=stripbooks

New posts on this thread. Refresh page