Only grandchild

[Tea4tea]

We had DS (2) late and never considered a 2nd. I was always happy with the idea of an only child, but now it turns out he’s v likely to also be an only grandchild and that makes me sad. No cousins to play with at family gatherings; the idea of him having no close relatives when DH and I are gone.

Anyone else have the same situation?

He gets to make a family and chose his family.

The idea that he will be alone isn't true. He could have a cousin - only for something to happen to them.

DS is an only GC on my side. He has cousins on his Dad's side. But he sees the older two maybe once or twice a year as they live the other side of the country. The younger two live closer, but are still very young and COVID has made it difficult.

I have four cousins. Two live in Canada. One lives in NZ. One lives in the Highlands of Scotland. I havent seen any in a good few years.

My mum didnt really know any of her cousins - she moved around a lot as a child, and I certainly never met any - her mum was one of THIRTEEN. Her dad was one of three - one died as a child. The other changed his name and disappeared as part of a fraud meaning she lost contact on that side of the family.

My Dad father was a twin. He also had three other siblings. He didn't know his cousins. His dad's twin died abroad. My dad found his long lost cousin about 10 years ago.

You assume he would have close relationships with his cousins. It's enough of a push for siblings to have that relationship.

My family aren't close. I could go back several more generations in my family and show similar patterns of the family not being close. If we get together it's generally great but it rarely happens.

I don't have the desire for more tbh.

I have a ridiculous number of cousins. Over 50, probably a lot more if I bothered to count.
I don't speak to any of them. I don't think it's a big deal.

I'm an only grandchild. It didn't bother me not to have cousins.

I loved being an only child and grandchild. I was spoilt rotten and felt so loved.
I'm now child-free by choice myself, I don't feel it has negatively impacted me at all.

Personally I like having cousins, and I am still close to some of them (in my 60s). I am also glad that my children (in their 20s) have cousins that they are close to.

However, my husband was an only grandchild for both sets of grandparents so had no first cousins on either side. It was normal for him, just as having lots of cousins was normal for me.

Hi, just to say that was my situation growing up, no cousins etc and it really never bothered me as a child (I guess at that age you don’t miss what you don’t know?)
As an adult it sometimes makes a little sad I don’t have close family my age but again, it is what it is and there’s positives too, I’m very close to my grandparents and parents which perhaps might not have been the case with more kids in the family. I also think it’s not that common to be super close to cousins? Most of my friends and my partner aren’t especially close to their cousins.

My DD has one cousin from my SIL, they see each other a couple of times a year. My cousin's growing up were much older than me (15-20 years), we see each other once or twice a year at big family events. My DH is not close at all, has no relationship with his cousins. This is one of those things you have no control over and in reality has very little impact for your child, they won't miss what they don't have. They will go onto develop close loving relationships with friends their own age.

DS is sort of in this situation, has cousins on one side of the family but estranged sibling so has never met them. No cousins on the other side.

I never had cousins as both parents only children. DH has cousins but doesn’t have anything to do with them now as adults unless they are at a family event (rare) I have met them once.

I do worry about DS having so little family but hope he will have good group of friends and possibly a family of his own

I don't think it matters as long as the parents keep open house and the child has plenty of friends.

This was my best friends situation growing up too. She came to all our family parties and I got invited to hers. I was also invited on a few holidays with them as a teen.

I would definitely recommend taking friends on holidays, having lots and lots of play dates, inviting friends to family events.

Shes gone on to have 4 children of her own.

Many of us don't know/see our cousins anyway. He will have friends throughout his life - they are the important people, and people he chooses rather than being forced into relationships with family members.