Quiet only

6 replies

theleavesfall · 07/02/2023 12:27

Any advice on helping a quiet only?
My DD is 4. Shes quiet around other children, sits back a bit whilst others might dive straight in for toys etc,
Her preschool teacher described her as "very quiet". Sort of plays on the sidelines if a group are playing with toys etc...plays near but not in the group.
At home of course she is chatty non stop...
Just wondering how I can help her. I'm not a very quiet person but I'm also not loud.

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changingforthebetter3 · 07/02/2023 12:41

My dd isn't an only but has always been very much like you have described. I found that each year as she got older, she just naturally got a little bit more confident. She is still very quiet at age 8, but is much more confident compared to how she used to be. I tried rainbows/brownies, martial arts etc but she really doesn't like group events. I then decided to try and different approach of sole activities such as 1-1 swimming lessons, running with me with an app to show our progression & her confidence has made a massive leaps because of it. For us it's working, she's just very introverted and me pushing her into group situations didn't work for us. My other child is completely the opposite, loves being out there and centre of attention!

LighthouseCat · 07/02/2023 12:56

One of mine is naturally very quiet in group situations. Every parents evening we get the 'she's very quiet in class'. Well, she's an introvert. She's very confident and vey able but does not like to draw attention to herself. We also tried group activities which she did for a bit but would just rather not so stopped. At home, she's sometimes very chatty, but also clearly loves her own company and her downtime. I worry a bit as it's an extrovert world but both myself and DH are quiet types and we do ok socially and professionally. I also think my DD likes to observe situations first before joining in. I do try to line up a few low-key social things every month (we'd all be happier staying at home!) and we often admit that whilst they are an effort and tiring, it's usually really fun and glad we made the effort

PretzelBite · 07/02/2023 15:22

my sister is one of 5 and was like this and we had a very hectic house growing up so I do think it’s just personality/phase a lot of the time. She is still relatively introverted but became more confident at 10/11. She is a happy individual and likes keeping herself to herself.

Original poster

theleavesfall · 08/02/2023 09:07

Thank you for all your kind replies.

It's so tricky isn't it?
I don't want to push her into group situations...
For example -she goes to a 4 year olds sport group at the weekends and she can't wait to run out into the middle of the sport hall to join everyone for the warm ups and activities - running etc. So she certainly isn't clinging to me or saying she doesn't want to go..

I'm hoping she warms up to preschool.
Her teacher says that are trying to mix up the groups of children as some of them k ow each other already (from other siblings etc)...
I just don't want her left out..

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OnlyFoolsnMothers · 09/02/2023 11:44

I really think this is unique to a child's personality, introvert/ extrovert etc, As long as she's not clingy or crying I see no issue. She will find her way, the louder kids will quieten, new friendships will form and change etc.
I dont think she need to be "pushed", just continue to expose her to different social scenarios like it sounds you do.

AuntMarch · 24/06/2023 01:16

I work in a preschool, and have done for about 10 of the last 15 years. There are always some children that are quieter, they're never all going to have the same personalities!
I don't think it is necessarily a problem though. Especially with what you have added about the sports class. If she is happy, you can be happy!

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