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One-child families

Got questions about only having one child? Find the answers here.

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Original poster

My dc hasn't seen another child for 2 weeks

16 replies

chird · 28/12/2022 11:05

Just realised that since dd finished school for Christmas she hasn't seen another child. We have had a lovely time with family but there are no other children in immediate family. We have taken her out to play and walks and played board games watched films and had fun and she seems happy but I'm now worried that she needs to see other children

Most of her friends are away visiting relatives and I don't like to just ask for play dates during family holidays

Weather is miserable so can't just pitch up at park to find kids to pay with

Am I overthinking this?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

whycant · 29/12/2022 16:39

I have just come to Mumsnet and found the one child board for this exact reason so it's actually a relief to see I'm not alone, I am in the exact same situation. Im hoping I can try and meet up with some people next week but am feeling very guilty today. No advice just solidarity

Thinkbiglittleone · 29/12/2022 16:54

Is she back next week?

How old is she ?

Sounds like she's had a lovely time, has she asked to see other children ?

Cucumberinginplease · 29/12/2022 16:59

This has popped up on most active. Otherwise, I'd not have seen it as I'm a mum of 2.

I was an only child ans loved the adult company so your LO is more than likely absolutely fine. Especially if they've not mentions wanting to see friends.

On the other hand, as a parent, I'd be more than happy for a play date for one of mine. It would give me some lovely 1:1 with my other DD which is always welcome, regardless of the time of year. There is often the twixmas lull so you may be surprised and find it easy to arrange a play date if you want to.

bakewellbride · 29/12/2022 19:18

Is there a local softplay?

StarDolphins · 29/12/2022 19:25

My DD is 6 & I have no other family on my side. She’s seen my friends little girls 3 times, been to Santa with a school friend & has 2 kids parties before returning to school & STILL says she misses kids from school. But when she has to go to school, she says she doesn’t want to go & misses me!

All my other friends with only children have only seen adults & haven’t asked about other kids! They’ve seen lots of family & seem v happy & content with that!

I’m betting she’s absolutely loved it just how it’s been🥰

Fairydustandsparklylights · 29/12/2022 19:27

Has she said she’s sad about not seeing other children? You might be projecting your own feelings onto her. I was an only and it didn't bother me in the slightest. I didn’t know any different.

greenbirdsong · 29/12/2022 19:28

It's the same in my house. I have a 5yr old DS and he has no cousins or child relatives. We just saw my parents Xmas day and that's it as we have a small family. DH is an only child.

I always feel he's a bit lonely over the Xmas break. We play all the time but he really wants friends to play with.
Play dates always seem unanswered this time of year for us.

Difficult with an only child and no family.

We've had fun but I'm sure another child to play with would be nice. There's only so many times I can play the same games with him.

So no advice but we're in the same boat. Back to school next week.

icanwearwhatiwant · 29/12/2022 19:29

I have an only child and always arrange play dates. To be honest I find that parents generally bite my hand off if I offer to host their little angel for an hour or two so as long as your hosting I really wouldn't worry about inviting people over for play dates.

Motelschmotel · 29/12/2022 19:30

Parents of onlies do have to make a greater effort to have their children socialise with other children. Having said that, it’s not a necessity. Adult company can be wonderful and often is. I’ve noticed over the years that only children are often extremely well behaved around adults simply because they spend so much time around them (and also, amongst the only children who are girls, more mature too). It’s just one of those things with only children. Not anything to fret about.

SpinningFloppa · 29/12/2022 19:31

You say most of her friends are busy but what about your friends? Do none of them have kids? I’m assuming you are referring to her school friends etc maybe you need to make friends with other parents?

BrownEyedGhoul · 29/12/2022 19:41

I don't see how that matters in the slightest. Why would she need to?

Original poster

chird · 29/12/2022 20:59

Thanks for the replies. She is 9 happy sociable etc. We have friends with kids but mainly through her. I have put lots of effort into making friends with the mums and we go for drinks independently but also socialize together.

Our own family and friends have much younger children or none at all.

Today we took her to a park and she used her new roller skates and seemed to have fun. She certainly hasn't asked to see other children or her friends but it's probably me over thinking.

I found the covid years so hard as dh and I were working in full on stressful jobs albeit from home and I worried she might never see another child again so maybe it's a bit of a result of this.

We did try for another but it ended in quite a traumatic way and I now can't have any more so maybe that plays a part in my thinking. She has no idea that we wanted any more children so I don't think I'm projecting. When she asked once I said we didn't want any more as we loved our little family.

I suppose a lot of the social media perfect family posts are making me feel like this .. lots of kids in matching pjs.. 🤣

OP posts:

noisemachine · 30/12/2022 12:12

Have recently come to the conclusion that we are stopping at one child. We are so stretched financially and for time and another child would probably break our mental health and marriage. There are no other kids in our family so this is on my mind too (our daughter has only seen one child in the past week for a very quick play date). What I have found reassuring to see this week is how happy she seems with adult company. Both sets of grandparents are great with her and she a really strong relationship with her aunt who adores her and makes a big effort. We all play and draw with her. Outside of Christmas we also do lots of play dates. We can only do the best we can given the circumstances.

frostyfours · 11/01/2023 07:08

I know this is old and they're back at school but I really wouldn't worry. Xmas holidays are so short anyway. I noticed a massive difference to how busy we were over summer but that was due to illness and weather over Dec/Jan.

It's nice for them to have downtime anyway! I did feel a bit guilty but I know that's me projecting, I fretted about whether to have another for a couple of years and now realise what a waste of worry that was!

puddingandsun · 15/01/2023 09:21

We had a lovely time away for two weeks meeting family none of which have children similar to my only's age.

He had wonderful time nevertheless.

Since being back to school, in one week he had a bump on his head because someone kicked him and tripped him, someone bit his finger, someone shouted at his face, his lunch box was taken (and returned), on another day his apples were taken and thrown on the floor...

Some kids appear to have come back feral and my dc def would prefer being around just adults again... 🙃🙃

applespearsbears · 15/01/2023 09:56

I think it's down to the child, take your lead from her. My child lives to be around other children so we have to make sure they have quiet family time to rest. Other kids don't mi d having time with adults, neither is right or wrong. Maybe offer to have friends over

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